


Golden Child Fanfic

by Andrea250



Category: Golden Child (Korea Band)
Genre: Affairs, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Confessions, Drabble, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies With Benefits, Happy Ending, Idiots in Love, Jealousy, Love Confessions, M/M, Misunderstandings, One Shot, One-Sided Attraction, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Polyamory, Possessiveness, Redemption, being used, mainly Jangyoon and Bongbeom, side pairing Lee Daeyeol/Choi Sungyoon | Y, song inspired fics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-08
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:00:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 36
Words: 52,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21718825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Andrea250/pseuds/Andrea250
Summary: This is mainly Jangyoon and  Bongbeom and I venture into other pairing but mainly those two ships. I am opened to taking request if you want one. (Updated the summary 2/21/2020)I also take request! Updates are not scheduled!
Relationships: Bae Seungmin/Son Youngtaek | TAG, Bong Jaehyun/Kim Jibeom, Choi Bomin/Lee Daeyeol, Choi Sungyoon | Y/Lee Daeyeol, Choi Sungyoon | Y/Lee Jangjun, Choi Sungyoon | Y/Lee Jangjun/Hong Joochan, Hong Joochan/Lee Jangjun
Comments: 53
Kudos: 84





	1. Bedroom Warfare (Jangjun/Joochan)

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: For now only 30 chapters might do more depending on the response on the story. Also note the cover I used the photo from online cuz I don't know how to make covers and I just added my user name and fanfic part. I am not taking credit for this great work just using it for creative use and nothing more.

**_Song: Bedroom Warfare- by: One Ok Rock_ **

_**(Photos to reference how they look in this fanfic.)** _

**_Without further ado, enjoy!_ **

**_3rd Person's P.O.V:_ **

This is only sex and nothing more, it is a dangerous dance underneath the sheets, yet they go along with it. Outside of the bedroom they are enemies to one another, it is only a vicious circle but neither one willing to stop this fair arrangement. 

This is only pleasure and nothing more. Joochan tugs on the older male's short raven black locks as the man hammers into him, it is the thrill of the pleasure that Jangjun gives him, it's the way his muscles flex as he gives Joochan everything and more. They could go all night with the way the vocalist is reacting so generously and pliant to the older male and the response in turn is just as rewarding as the pink hair male's verbal response. 

Jangjun likes the way the man beneath him withers and stutters, it makes him go faster, this electrifying current that ignites between them is going array of aggressive kisses and desperate touches of warmth, it is an act of defiance. 

They should hate this and each other, it should never be anything more than stress relief, their relationship is nothing more than formal and hateful. Since day one Jangjun and Joochan had been at each other's throats.

Yet, here they are surrendering themselves to one another without contempt or restraint, it is only in the name of pleasure and to satisfy a curious want. They are naked and vulnerable, they are sharing a piece of themselves every single time they explore each other in a lustful haze of emotions. They start to peel the layers and uncover a new secret and they start to humanize one another, it is miraculous how fast they go from hating each other, to wanting to share a bed.

The way a simple action could make a difference, yet they refuse to see what is really there, denial is a funny thing.

"Stay." Jangjun is the first to break the ice. 

Joochan is silently happy that the rapper is not pushing him away but refuses to speak those words out loud out of fear of not only what the older male would think. Himself included, too afraid to face such revelations.

"Okay." Joochan pretends to be indifferent. 

"This changes nothing Hong." He lies, the after taste of denial at the tip of his tongue. 

"Agreed." The other man lies as well, not wanting to face the reality and hurt. 

They don't say anything more, they just lie there in silence not wanting to break the almost comforting silence, it could all fall apart in a moment. 

The members are all away and it is only them two in the dorm but they are glad to have these little moments together, even if they both are not willing to admit such confessions but it is the way the older male pulls the lithe male closer to his chest. It is the way Joochan accepts the small gesture with a hidden smile. 

They both not willing to end this little war they waged, wanting the other to succumb to their own feelings but neither one willing to risk the outcome of the truth, for they are not ready to end it all. 

**_-The End_ **


	2. One Little Lie (Sungyoon/Jangjun)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Double update cuz I wanted to write two for the opening of this and I hope you all will enjoy!

_**Song: One Little Lie- By: Simple Creatures** _

_**A/N: Again reference photos.** _

_**3rd Person's P.O.V:** _

It was October, the first fallen leaf, indication the changing of the seasons, it is also the first time Jangjun had laid his dark hue orbs upon Choi Sungyoon.

He was taken aback.... the younger man didn't know how to approach him or even merely wave to the rabbit like male's way. Nonetheless, he had become addicted to Sungyoon's world, it had become so empty and lifeless here in his own mundane head space.

He forgot how to live before the older man came his way, into the cracks of the forgotten ruins of his own shaken heart, Choi Sungyoon had awaken something inside of Lee Jangjun, he thought he would never feel again.

Love.... It gave him hope and new filters and views on the grim world he use to know, love gave him the ability to remember what it was like to believe in magic again. Too see everything not for what it is, but what it could be and that was astonishing in itself and he didn't want to ever stop this feeling.

He wished on every birthday candle and every 11:11! The younger man prayed on it, that one day, he could find someone to fill in the missing parts and broken puzzle pieces of his lonely heart. He hoped to find someone that would make him feel complete and that was his Sungyoon hyung!

But as fall turned into winter, winter turned into spring, spring turned into summer, and so on, it all became the same old routine of safety nets and bad morning coffee. The vicious cycle of same days and nights, same old faces and places, they changed but Jangjun's love was evergreen.

Yet like the fool that Lee Jangjun is, Sungyoon never intended to stay for long, he never did. Like ships in the night he never planned to stay, once the older man had his kicks and giggles, he made Jangjun look like a lovesick fool... The rabbit like man laughed at the younger's expense and turned away.

Hope is where love dies...

He packed up Jangjun's heart in a box with the rest of his outgrown things and never came back. He forgot about The younger man, Yet he could never forget about Sungyoon and the memories they shared, because unlike Choi Sungyoon, Jangjun could never have the heart to be so cruel and heartless. He can always see the shattered pieces of his love, every corner he turns and every place he goes, he would always try to look for the man that stole his heart all those years ago.

But he has to remind himself that he was never full time... only temporary, there was never a permanent place in the older man's heart for Jangjun and as much as it tore him apart inside, resilience is what he strives. He would not allow this to define him but it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt like hell. He gave Sungyoon every part of himself and without hesitation but love requires to be selfless.

Yet in the night, when it was him alone, they didn't say how long it would paralyze his heart, this vulnerability that left him bleeding on the bathroom floor, with each month, week, day, hour, and seconds Jangjun slowly felt the threads of his paper-thin heart start to come undone. He felt and heard the crack and snap of his abandon heart start to turn to dust. He felt stupid for letting Sungyoon hurt him even after he left, Jangjun loved with all his heart and never half-assed anything, he was either committed or gone.

It was May when he saw the ghost that haunted his dreams, that left his life just as easily as he came into it! Choi Sungyoon in the flesh, alive and well... he looks more optimistic and glowing, his eyes are bright and his smile shining.

While Jangjun still remembers every scar, it never left him but these days he had no time to worry about his own hauntings, he had his own life to take back, he was comatose in depression for two years and he didn't like who he saw in the mirror.

Now he is happy and has great friends and family that loves him, he is also a teacher for kindergarten and he loves his job but this was the first time he felt opposite.

"Oh hello Seongsaengnim, I am here to pick up my niece." He could never forget his face.

"Oh hello, who is your niece? It has been two years since their parting and Jangjun could never forget him but it seems one-sided.

"Uncle Y!" He could hear Naeun scream in glee.

"There she is." His eyes light up with excitement.

The little girl, no less than five comes running to the two males "Where is Daeyeol oppa?" The younger girl teases.

His eyes change for a moment but it might just be Jangjun's imagination. "He is at work but Daeyeol will be joining us later."

He wanted to say something, wanted to be angry, Daeyeol is the reason why Jangjun and Sungyoon parted, his parents didn't like Jangjun and never did, The older man always reassured him that it didn't matter but it seems as though it did matter.

"Seongsaengnim, please don't be sad! You are very handsome when you smile, please smile more often!" She hugs the younger man.

"Thank you Naeun-ah, I am not sad, it is nothing you have to worry about." He didn't want to trouble Naeun, she is a bright girl for her age and very caring towards everyone even to the other people that tease her.

He bowed politely to Naeun and to the man he once knew and never looked back to see if Sungyoon would do the same, or if they met eyes and fall in love like all those years ago.

He promised that he would never let anyone decrease him into paper thin lines and misplaced memories.

He knew he deserved better but for Sungyoon, he would go through it all over again, he would tell himself one little lie and the pain doesn't phase him. He knew he should get over the man he once knew or thought he did, he stopped mourning for that relationship along time ago, seeing Sungyoon today brought back feelings he buried along time ago and for good reasons.

**_ -The End _ **

**_ A/N: update: Mistake: 12/9/2019: Sorry for putting Changmin, I write for multiple pairings and sometimes I write stories at the same time so forgive, I just noticed my mistake. Also I write some of my stories the same thing but for different pairs and change things around to fit the ship.  _ **

_ **A/N: Update: Mistake: 3/9/2020: Forgot to put the pairing in the title. Not that big of a mistake but one nonetheless and must be fixed and with that being said, it has been fixed!** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I hope you all enjoyed and comments and likes are much appreciated! 
> 
> -AndreaXx


	3. I Miss You (Sungyoon/Jangjun)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry for the late update but I ope you enjoy it. I am still learning them as a whole and individually to write better but also know this is fanfic so they won't be 100% themselves, it is for the sake of the story line.

_**Song: I Miss You- by: Blink182** _

**_ JANGJUN:  _ **

_**Sungyoon:** _

**_ 3rd Person's P.O.V:  _ **

He couldn't help but think of the noisy younger male, it was going to be a long night, it was another cold shoulder and silent treatments and Sungyoon can't take it. He didn't mean what he said to Jangjun but he couldn't help but feel Yountaek was replacing him in his lover's wild heart, it was eating him alive and he couldn't help it. 

A sense of possessiveness and jealousy consumed Sungyoon into oblivion of madness, it consumed him and he has no other excuse but the fact, love makes one go mad and to descend into a place one should never tread. 

* ** _Flashback*_**

_"Do you hear yourself!" Jangjun anger ignited from within._

_"What? I am only asking a reasonable question?" He stays calm and collected, not willing to give in, keeping composure for the sake of pride and hurt._

_"No, you are being stupid Sungyoon!" He crosses his arms in front of his chest as they are still sitting inside the car._

_It is a late winter's night, it is silent and bone-chilling temperature rising, the two males stay inside the car for almost two hours now and still no resolve while the rest of the members left to the dorm._

_"You are being unreasonable Jangjun-ah." He wanted to hit the steering wheel in blinded rage at the younger's refusal of answering his simple question._

_"_ _You think I am cheating on you with Youngtaek, it is offending that you think I would do that to you! I am fucking pissed, livid, but worst of all I am hurt Sungyoon. I love you but that is not enough to convince you." Jangjun refused to look the older man's way._

_"No it isn't, I refuse to be an idiot at yours and his expense. I love you so much Jangjun but I refuse to be used for some sick ruse!" He was just as pissed as Jangjun and he wanted to make that very clear._

_"Youngtaek and I are just best friends like all of us, we are a group and family." He scoffs trying to hold back his own wicked tongue._

_"_ _How come you spend all your time with him? You hang off of him like he is your love, I hardly see you even when we are all together, you stay up late and work on your lyrics with tag and you hardly even call or text!" Sungyoon had so much repressed resentment against the other rapper._

_"You don't let me touch you anymore, kiss you, you hide your phone, and act like strangers more than lovers. You can wonder why I am so curious as to why my boyfriend is making me question him?" His claims only serving to make the younger even more upset._

_Jangjun didn't know how to admit the truth... he was scared. He is insecure of his place in Sungyoon's life, he doesn't want to smother him with his usual self, he doesn't want to be overbearing or too obnoxious, it made him cautious of how he acts. He doesn't want the older man to see his desperate message to his trusted friend and confidant, it sounds stupid but for being confident and self-assured looking guy, Jangjun is only human and doesn't have this figured out._

_He figured if he puts distance between them it would make things clear and he would know how to be a good boyfriend to the older man that could have anyone. He just doesn't want Sungyoon to know how much this is giving him anxiety and grief, it wasn't ideal but he knows that he probably made it worse._

_Only silence filled the car and that pissed off the older, leading him to believe that his suspicions are indeed correct and that he wasn't crazy and he wishes that Jangjun would speak up and tell him that this is a misunderstanding. Yet the silence only pushes the narrative forward and his stomach is churning and his head pounding, it only makes him agitated with his boyfriend's guilty actions._

_"Congrats Jangjun, you really had me fooled!" He bangs on the steering wheel._

_He didn't know what to do or say anymore, it was hard to admit his own admission to the man that made his palms ache, his knees cave in, and his spine shutter with want, and his heart pound with desire. He didn't want to show how much it hurt, maybe their love isn't built to last? He is so unsure of himself and he wants to be enough but he just doesn't know how!_

_He would take the hate and anger if it meant that things would go back to the way they are and they could be friends again, it was a bad idea to date but he loves the older man, that it would be stupid not try for a chance at love. They both tried to be optimistic and open to the idea that they could have a relationship in this life, it was a foolish dream but they did and now they are in this mess._

_"Believe whatever you want Sungyoon hyung, I know that I am not the bad guy." He wasn't gonna keep defending his actions and his behavior, even when this all started with him._

_"That alone, Jangjun, I think we should take a break. I can't do this right now and... what fucking suck is that I can't be mad at you! I love you and I am willing to forgive you for cheating, do you know how messed up that is!" The sorrow that fills the vocalist tone is heartbreaking._

_"I think we should take a break, cuz obviously there isn't trust and whatever I say will just be ignored. You are so blinded by your own pride or whatever is going on. To see the truth, call me when you stop acting crazy and you are willing to talk._ _"_ _Jangjun was just as frustrated and tired._

_"Running away Jangjun, typical, you don't want to face me and be honest! Rather act like a coward and hide out, it is pathetic, all I ask was for the truth and you can't! Or you refuse to say the simple truth." He is only getting fired up by each word that comes out of his own mouth._

Jangjun could feel on set of tears that prick his vision, it makes him feel pathetic, Sungyoon is being a jerk and he can't defend himself cuz he is afraid. Yet, he doesn't deserve this cold and hurtful words that are coming from his boyfriend.

_"I don't need this! You are an asshole,I don't deserve to be treated this way! If you love me, you would believe me and be patient cuz god Sungyoon, I am so in love with you it hurts!" Jangjun had enough of the older man's bullshit._

_"If you want to know my shame so badly, here it is, you are right. I haven't been honest with you and for reasons I can't explain but here is what you wanted!" He looks at the older man with fire in his eyes._

_Sungyoon could tell he had really done it now and that this would not end well but finally he would hear the truth._

_"I am insecure, that is the big reveal, I am in love with you to the point I went to Youngtaek and asked if he could help me be a better boyfriend." The older male is confused by the younger admission._

_"I was so afraid of not being enough that he was helping me find less ways to be me, we sat done for hours pointing out my flaws and what you would want less of. I am so afraid to lose you, I am far from confident hyung, I am afraid that you would find out that I am not what you wanted!" Jangjun refused to break down in front of the man._

_"Congratulations Sungyoon, I hope you are happy with whatever you found out." He unbuckles himself and gets out before Sungyoon has a chance to respond._

* ** _Flashback ends*_**

He had done things in a fit of anger, "accidentally" trip tag, looked through Jangjun's phone and end up finding nothing, delete messages from tag, message tag pretending to be the younger, causing fights between the two... which in turn causing a fight between everyone. He even almost knocked out tag for staring too long at his boy friend and he will admit he has done other questionable things all cuz the younger made him like this.

He can't blame Jangjun for his actions but love is a scary thing and he, himself is afraid to lose such an amazing person like Lee Jangjun. The younger should have told him about his fears and the reason behind his behavior. Sungyoon would have understood and tried his best to reassure him that the reason why he is so smitten with the younger is cuz Jangjun is not conventional, he isn't like anyone else, his heart does not sing the same way when he thinks of anyone else. Jangjun is important to him and he wouldn't trade him for anyone else and he wishes Jangjun would see that. 

He didn't need to go to such lengths to change himself or to be someone he is not, he loves Jangjun even on the days he could be too loud or annoying, too Sungyoon it is anything but that, it is those moments that they spend in laughter and happiness. He couldn't think of any other way, he knows that Jangjun is someone that cares deeply about the people around him and especially their opinions. 

He didn't mean to push him, he should have been understanding and approached this situation differently but his heart was scared and so that in turn to suspicion, jealousy, possessiveness, anger, and he just kept spiraling. 

It has been almost a month and Jangjun still won't talk to him, he barely greets him and he rarely smiles when the older is around, it breaks his heart and he knows that this had to do with his pressuring Jangjun and acting cold to him, it wasn't right but Jangjun wasn't honest with him either.

He refuse to take the full blame but he knows that he should have sensed the difference in Jangjun earlier, he should have been better, he should have tried to understand. 

"Knock, knock" he hears someone come into his room, he sits up from his position of laying down. 

"Hey, I thought you were still mad with me." Sungyoon was happy to see his lover in front of im and smiling. 

"I am sorry, I was being ridiculous and this is not all your fault. I was also at fault, I shouldn't have kept this from you... I miss you so much." Jangjun still not moving from the door frame. 

"I love you so much, I messed up badly and I said really messed up stuff to you when I shouldn't have, I was so afraid of losing you. I said that out of anger and false betrayal and you did not deserve that. I was way out of line Jangjun-ah." Sungyoon didn't move either, both not wanting to ruin the moment. 

"You weren't being ridiculous either, it is normal and I will be honest, I am insecure as well. Some days I wonder how lucky I got to be with you, it makes me wonder if I saved a whole country in my past life." The younger chuckles at his last statement. 

"I know you are exaggerating the last part but thank you. I guess we were both worried about nothing, I love you and I am sorry, I shouldn't have done that, I shouldn't have been so distant and always relying on tag. Tag was there and listening when I needed him, so I became dependent and comfortable, you are my person hyung and I should have done so accordingly." Jangjun was in the wrong just as much and he hurt his lover so much, it was unfair how he treated Sungyoon even though this wouldn't have happened if he had just been honest. 

"Jangjun, this wouldn't have happened if we both had just communicated and been honest, obviously there was mistrust on my part and I was acting poorly and you did what you thought was right and I can't and won't blame. Just please never do that again to me, I was a jealous fool and ready to kill Youngtaek if he even breathed in your direction." He was embarrassed by his own thoughts. 

"You are an idiot, I only love you." Jangjun has only had eyes for one person and that is the rabbit looking man. 

Sungyoon opened his arms wide so his lover could lay down with him and cuddle, he needed his energy source back. Jangjun went to the older, he missed him dearly, it was foolish, but he is a fool for the older man and not afraid to show it. They embrace each other and it feels like home, they feel complete, finally they could just relax and not fear the worst. 

"I love you so much my love." Sungyoon mumbles in the crook of Jangjun's neck. 

"I know." Jangjun loves when the older male calls him that. 

They lay in complete and comfortable silence, Jangjun scooped in Sungyoon's warm and loving embrace, it feels good to be home. Jangjun is Sungyoon's home forever, it has always been him and he couldn't imagine anyone else. 

_**-The End** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Welp guys here is this lovely update and a long one I think. lol, I hope you guys like it and I will keep working hard in improving and doing better. Feel free to leave suggestions or comments about my stories, it is much appreciated! 
> 
> Love you all. 
> 
> -AndreaXx


	4. In Bloom (Jangjun/Joochan)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I hope you guys enjoy the new update.

**_ Song: In Bloom- by: Neck Deep _ **

**_ Jangjun _ ** **_ : _ **

  
**_ Joochan _ ** **_ : _ **

  
**_ 3rd Person's P.O.V: _ **

There was something sweet and innocent about the younger man, it made Jangjun want to have and protect him.

He couldn't pinpoint the sea of feelings that started to expand in his heart, it made him believe in the impossible, he's a god in Jangjun's eyes.

He is blinded by the stunning beauty that Hong Joochan possessed. It was something he did not foresee or plan, it made him stop and wonder how the younger male could imprint every part of himself into the older man's world.

He wanted to be the one Joochan thought about and craved, it made his heart dizzy with want and need.

He couldn't take not having him by his side, the one thing Jangjun felt good about was being with Joochan and he messed it up.

He was greedy for more, didn't know that he had everything in the clueless pink haired boy. He had looked in other people and places but they never quick start his heart, the way Joochan did by just simply smiling Jangjun's way.

How could he have such effects over his heart? So much power, it made no sense to him, he couldn't comprehend his own defeat. He was clueless and in love and he had to make things right before he completely messed up everything, it was not right of him to use Joochan.

Love will never be what Jangjun expected and he is okay, perfection is overrated anyways. He just wanted Joochan to look at him again and to smile and laugh the way it use to be.

Go big or go home, right? This is his grand gesture and he had to do it, even if it meant that Joochan would never return his feelings again.

This week is home coming and instead of taking Joochan, he asked Eunbi, the girl he fawned over and used Joochan to get.

Eunbi, of course said yes, he should have been happy about it but his heart wasn't in it. All he could think of is Joochan's tear stained face and his heart reeled ten times over.

He knew Joochan had feelings for him and his bright idea was to date his best friend in order to make Eunbi jealous,it worked. Five months into the relationship and Eunbi wanted him.

He had to make it right!

He had to be the one to tell him and not over text or phone, he had to tell him everything no matter how much it would hurt to admit that Jangjun didn't see him in that light before.

He ran to Joochan's house, praying the younger man would be home and alone cuz it would be easier and Joochan's mother wouldn't beat him to a pulp even though he deserved it ultimately. 

He ran five blocks to get to the younger man's house and though tiresome, he would do it again if it meant making things right.

He pounded on the door by accident but it got the message through.

"What the hell are you doing here Jangjun!" He seethed with anger and annoyance.

"I'm sorry Joochan-ah." He knew that was not the best place to start but seeing Joochan in his big hoodie made him glitch.

"That is all you could say! Your sorry, shameless bastard you are!" Joochan was not taking his bullshit.

Jangjun has constantly apologize for hurting him but he was growing tired of it all. Two weeks he cried over the big oof and Jangjun had done nothing but say sorry and that it was foolish to use his feelings.

"Joochan, I know you don't want to hear this and I am so sorry! I am such an idiot and you can still be mad at me after this." Joochan could never hate him and that is the worst part.

Joochan just stood there waiting to hear more. "Go on." He tried to seem irritated.

"I was wrong! I should have been honest about why I asked you out, I shouldn't have done it in the first place. I knew you were in love with me and I saw it as an opportunity, yet I don't regret it." Was this some kind of joke the pink haired man fumed.

"You prick, I am in love with you and you don't regret hurting me? You used me for five months I believed you, even when you said you loved me back! Now that you got what you want you-" He was stopped by a soft pair of lips pressed against his own.

He couldn't help but respond even if his own brain called him put on his own weakness.

Jangjun pulled away first "If you let me finished, you would know that I was gonna say that being with you was chaotic and at time overwhelming but it made me joyful." He chuckles.

"We are best friends first and foremost but being your boyfriend is something I want to be. Eunbi never wanted me or loved me." He felt bitter for not seeing it earlier.

"She wanted my attention but not my affection and that hurt, it hurt like hell, yet I probably went throw one-fourth of what you went through more than likely less." He took Joochan's hand in his own.

"Being with Eunbi was nice, after awhile it was like talking to a brick wall, she wanted less of me and more of what she wanted. Two weeks and I was ready to hang myself.

Joochan was not laughing or relatively happy.

"So you are settling, that is what I am hearing." He pulled his hand away, Jangjun missing the warmth of the younger male.

He was messing up.

"Loving you, is the one thing I felt right about!" Jangjun had to pour his bleeding heart out.

"Loving you, it was enough. You didn't expect me to be someone else, you wanted me to be just me, Lee Jangjun and nothing more." Joochan loves every little part of the older male even his mistakes and flaws, it made Jangjun, well Jangjun.

"You loved me for everything I am and everything I am not, Eunbi hated my jokes and loudness. She wanted me for my looks and muscles, she wanted me to smile and be her show pony." The girl is vapid and cruel, Jangjun should have seen it sooner, way sooner.

"But you saw me in a light I could never be and it felt nice, you deserve a hell of a lot better, I know that what I did is cruel. I am a jerk!" He couldn't bare to look at the younger male, afraid of what he might see.

"I am not settling, you are much more than that Hong Joochan, you are kind, funny, considerate, cute, frustrating, clueless, oblivious really, weird and a lot of a better person than I could ever be. You are not easy, but loving you is the best thing that happen to me." He felt relief.

"I want you to be mine, if you would let me." Still not looking at the younger male.

"Please look at me hyung." Joochan's voice tender, grabbed the black haired man's hand.

"I don't bite, unless you are into that stuff." Jangjun chuckles at the male's provocative joke.

"See it wasn't hard to look at me." Joochan loves his smile the most, it reminds his of a warm winters breeze, it was perfect.

"I love you, I do, but I don't think we can pick up where we left off. What you did to me, it was heart shattering, it made me think 'why was I not enough?' or 'What was wrong with me?' and that destroyed me." Joochan deserved a whole lot better and he was not gonna allow anyone to make him feel that way ever again.

"I understand and I hope you will let me woo you. I am willingly to do anything if it means to be back in your good graces Hong Joochan, it is an honor to have and hopefully to still love you and I hope you can see my sincerity." Jangjun had to put his heart on the line even if it is cheesy but he is not opposed to doing it for one pink haired male.

"You are something else Lee Jangjun and I will take your wooing into consideration." He tried to play it cool, he didn't want to let his stupid heart to get the best of him.

"You won't regret it!" Jangjun would take anything, as long as Joochan is still by his side.

"We might not be lovers but I have missed you these last two months and I missed my best friend the most, my other ones are grating on my last nerve and I am ready to commit murder, if the situation presents itself and I could get away with it... if I tried." His three fellow same age friends are going to drive him to an early grave with they way they are acting reckless.

"I will help you hide the bodies." Jangjun add in causing Joochan too burst in a harmonious laughter.

"I can always count on you hyung." He really missed the silly male.

He stepped aside to let Jangjun inside the house but to no avail Jangjun shoots him a curious glance and he chuckles again. "Are you just gonna stand outside or come in?" Joochan raises a brow.

"I am an idiot." He blushed in embarrassment.

"You are my idiot tho." He adds in causing Jangjun to blush more.

"What did you just say?" He wanted to hear that again.

Joochan decides to ignore it. "I didn't say anything, you obviously lost your mind while I was away. Without me you are helpless especially dating that ugly banshee." He tried not to be petty but he couldn't help himself.

"I wasn't completely helpless!" He whines cutely.

"You could have fooled me." Joochan breaks out into a cheshire grin.

"Yah Joochan-ah!" He stomps his foot in playful anger.

"Fine, I am sorry hyung." The younger male really did miss his hyung and ex-boyfriend. He loves Jangjun regardless of his romantic feelings, he has always admired the older man, this surprise visit really made him happy. He didn't think he would see the older again and for a short while he was happy at the idea of never seeing his goofy smile ever again.

But that seem to be a very foolish idea.

_**-The End** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I hope you are all enjoying the fanfics so far and I will continue to try my best! 
> 
> -AndreaXx


	5. Baby(Jangjun/Sungyoon, Jangjun/Joochan, Daeyeol/Sungyoon)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Just mentions Joochan and Daeyeol.

_**Song: Baby- by Clean Bandits ft. Marina and Luis Fonsi** _

_**Jangjun & ** _ _**Sungyoon:** _

**_ 3rd Person's P.O.V:  _ **

They weren't supposed to be doing this, this was a casual affair of the heart, the forbidden fruit that must be kept sacred. They both had a desire and hunger that could no longer be contained, it was not suppose to go further than the bed, let alone the sheets, it was unforeseen.

Both two lonely hearts looking for refuge in one another, even when they both know it is doomed,they still carried on.

It is foolish to think they could keep going on without consequences.

"Daeyeol left to go see his parents for the week." Sungyoon hints at wanting the younger male to say longer. 

"Tempting, I would love to stay, the thing is Joochan will be home soon and we have an appointment with the wedding planner for final arrangements." Jangjun didn't want to upset the older but he himself is married. 

"I forgot about him, but do you really have to go?" Sungyoon kisses the younger fiercely and passionately. 

His kisses always had an effect on the younger man's mind, it made him long for more of the older man's lips. He always loved how Sungyoon would burn his soul without even trying.

He had to stay grounded or else the rabbit like man would have his way and Jangjun wouldn't fight it or want to leave. He has to go to meet his fiance, his amazing and lovely future. He loves his soon-to-be husband and that is never a lie.

"Babe, you know I have to go or else Joochan will be upset." He hates it when he is the reason for his lover's dismay.

"I know but can't he just go by himself?" He pulls Jangjun closer and start to trail kisses from the lobe of his ear trailing down his neck, it made Jangjun excited cuz Sungyoon isn't usually this giving or affectionate, it is out of character for the older. 

"Hyung, what is going on?" He knows the older man well. 

"Nothing Jangjun-ah, I just don't want you to go." The younger did not know if he should believe him or not? 

They had a mutual agreement that this would not go further once Jangjun married his long time boyfriend Joochan, they only wanted sex and comfort, both males in question have been friends since forever and when Sungyoon got married, it was too late for Jangjun to admit he has always been in love with Sungyoon. 

He thought that the older would only see him as a kid or a little brother and nothing more. But when he proposed to Jangjun that they become a little bit more intimate, well he was conflicted and confused but his heart wanted Sungyoon more. He needed him the way a worker bee needed his queen, well in this case a king, his heart knew nothing else even with Joochan. 

Joochan and him have been dating for eight years, and for three of those years he had started the affair with Sungyoon, it wasn't ideal but Joochan and him were always arguing and his lover was always leaving, Joochan worked as public relations officer for some big shot idol agency and Jangjun is on the police force and of course his partner is his dear old best friend Sungyoon. It made things a whole lot easier on them and to sneak away from their unsuspecting lovers at anytime and without question as to why they had to leave early or stay a bit later at "work" and they never questioned them on any of it. 

"Something is troubling you and I know it." The younger was not gonna take his bullshit excuses. 

Sungyoon didn't want whatever this is to be over, he loves Daeyeol but he doesn't know if he loves him like that anymore, being with Jangjun is ideal and secure, he loved the way the younger took control and give Sungyoon reign, he loved the way the younger would smile at him and message him with stupid text that made himself chuckle with delight. He loved everything about the younger and more, he hasn't let Daeyeol touch him in months or even fuck him, it wasn't the same, he felt greedy and satisfied and loved.

"It is nothing, you will be late and Joochan will not let you forget it." Sungyoon knew that Jangjun would marry the other man, no matter what he felt or said Jangjun would marry Joochan next week and he couldn't stop that. 

"I won't push you if you won't be honest, I love you, please know that even after... I will still love." Jangjun wanted to make that clear, he knew that Sungyoon would never leave Daeyeol and he never expected him too. 

"Do you think that if things were different, we could have been together?" Sungyoon wanted to know the younger's answer, put some perspective in his heart.

"Nothing good ever comes from dwelling on the past hyung, of what could have been, we will never know, there is so many outcomes to our future. If we were meant to be, it will be, if we love each other we have to let each other go, and if we decide that we would both want to spend the rest of our lives together it is meant to be." Deep down they both felt the same way about one another but couldn't voice it out of fear. 

"Tell Joochan I say hi." Sungyoon had nothing else to say. 

"I will." They both got dressed in the silence of the hotel room, their only solace. Soon this will all be but a dream of a dream. 

_**-The End** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I hope you enjoyed the update and if you see in the tags I have another ship I will be writing about. Not very often but I will have multiple stories for Jibeom and Jaehyun. 
> 
> -AndreaXx


	6. Sweet Music (Jibeom/Jaehyun)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N; First Jibeom/Jaehyun fanfic and I hope you all enjoy and I will continue to improve!

_**Song: Almost (Sweet Music)- by: Hozier** _

_**Jaehyun:** _

_**Jibeom:** _

**_ 3rd Person's P.O.V:  _ **

He didn't want to mess this up, he didn't want to look like a fool in front of the same age male, he felt his heart pound against his chest in movements from the way his breathe would short circuit, to the way his index finger would repeatedly tap against the car window. 

Jibeom knew that he is odd, most people find him to be annoying or just not "normal". He didn't care about those stupid people and he wasn't looking for their validation either, except one person, Bong Jaehyun, he was the only person that really understood him.

The only person to see him, truly, see him, for the first time in his life, Kim Jibeom felt truly happy. The fact someone wanted to know him instead of face value, it strung a cord inside his heart and he didn't know why or how.

It fazed him, left him shocked into silence, stumped as to why anyone would wants to know him. Any ounce or part of him, it was very troubling to him, as to why?

Since he was a mere boy, he never experienced love or what family is, in his home it meant something else. No trace of warmth or light had met his heart for such a long time and he never had met someone that choose him.

Jaehyun had made it clear since day one that Jibeom would never have to be alone again. He is grateful for meeting Bong Jaehyun when he did, it felt like he had found someone that wanted him even if the rest of the world looked down on him in disgust. Yet the only person that can bare to stand him, let alone look at him, Bong Jaehyun is his saving grace in a way. 

He just had to let his friend know or else he would never do it and continue to pretend that the other male is anything more than just a friend and that would be a disservice to himself and Jaehyun. Cuz he couldn't stay knowing that Jaehyun would never know or return his feelings, he wants to be free of this secret he harbours, it only does more bad than good. 

Jibeom had to face his biggest fear. 

He walked up to the male's door step, the sun being hidden away by the clouds that foreshadows his own mind, it was gonna be now or never. 

It was like slow motion when his fist met the red wooden door, he felt like he was suffocating from within and he didn't know if that was a good thing or bad thing? His mouth felt dry like someone stuffed a bunch of saltine crackers down his mouth and sown it shut, it was the most scary feeling he has felt, his heart was no better, the way it would fiercely pound against his chest it felt like he got hit by a stampede of wild boars. 

He couldn't fathom his actions at the moment, only wishing to go home and pretend that today never existed and this was one sick dream but lo and behold, Bong Jaehyun is pushing on his shoulder, his face twisted into one of concern.

"Jibeom!" He shakes the still male's shoulder a bit too harshly. 

"Jibeom, what the hell is going on?" He tried again but nothing which concerns him even more. 

"Ah Jaehyun, stop it!" He whines as he shoves the other boy's hand off his shoulder. 

"Well you wouldn't move or speak! Just standing out here for five minutes in wonderland." He whines just as loudly. 

"Well be gentle next time, it still hurts." Jibeom tried to ease his pain by massaging his shoulder. 

"I am sorry Jibeommie, it just you look pale and like a scared baby dear. It just made me fear that you got hurt again by those stupid kids from school, I hate when they do that!" Jaehyun didn't like when people hurt him. 

"No, it isn't that, I am sorry I worried you." He felt guilty for causing him temporary fear. 

"What is it then?" Jaehyun stood up straight with curiosity. 

"I am not good at this." He runs a hand through his red locks and tugs a bit in anxiety. 

"Not good at what?" He counters.

"What I wanted to tell you Jaehyun is, I wanted to say, is that I like-" He felt like he was floating, it made him want to plummet to safe ground. 

"Is that I like cereal and I want to go to the cereal bar that opened, my treat!" He couldn't believe his own stupidity!

"Really Jibeom! You idiot, you should have messaged me instead of coming here out of your mind looking like a bat straight from hell. I was super worried! But I will take you up on the offer cuz you are paying, free food is the best food." Jaehyun chuckles. 

"Also I like you too." Jibeom whipped his head up from the ground.

"I didn't..." he starts to stutter.

"You are very easy to read Jibeom and I figured out when you left your notebook here the other day." Jaehyun points out.

The other male did not know what to feel, he didn't think Jaehyun would ever return his feelings. Jaehyun deserves a whole lot better and he will try to be that.

"Come inside while I get dressed for our date." Jibeom like the sound of it.

He couldn't stop from smiling as he watched Jaehyun retreat to his own bedroom.

He couldn't explain the fireworks that set off in his heart and he didn't want, he just wants to live in the moment.

**_ -The End _ **

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I hope you all enjoyed! Again I will try to keep improving, don't be afraid to leave suggestions or a pairing request. I will try my best!
> 
> Also added another pairing in my tags Daeyeol/Bomin. 
> 
> -AndreaXx


	7. Look At Me (Daeyeol/Bomin)

**_ Song: Look At Me: by- UP10TION _ **

_**Daeyeol:** _

__

_**Bomin:** _

__

**_ 3rd Person's P.O.V: _ **

Daeyeol looked out into the moonlight, it is the silence of the night that brings him a calming peace. He tries to regroup his wandering thoughts, recounts every sentence, words, syllables , and letters, it's nights like this that makes him want to shed his own pastel skin.

"I am so dumb." He chastise himself.

"No you aren't hyung." The older male is startled by the maknae's presences.

It is four in the morning and he has not gotten a wink of sleep, it is his dreams that plague his state of mind, with silly fantasies and hopes.

"Why aren't you asleep Bomin-ah?" He tries to be a good and responsible hyung.

"I could ask the same." The younger man relocating from the hall to the couch of their dorm where the leader is.

"I can't sleep." He is not completely lying.

When the love of your life is right next to you but will never know your true feelings and write off your actions as cute or funny. He can't help but let his heart break a little bit more...

"Me neither." He smiles gently towards his hyung in understanding.

"Daeyeol hyung, why do you look so sad?" It breaks his heart to see the older male so sullen and lost.

"It is nothing, just my stupid heart." He tries to play it cool but his heart shatters a bit more, so easily like glass.

Bomin pulls the older man into his arms and breathes in his scent, Daeyeol smells like detergent and lavender. He wants to make his hyung smile, it is not an easy feat, but he would light a thousand suns and the moons in order to bring joy into his hyung's world.

"Have you ever been so in love with someone but they will never know?" He likes that he can be like this with the youngest.

He stiffens but Daeyeol doesn't notice, his heart speeds up a few miles, it makes him take a second to regain composure.

"Yes..." He looks out the window and into the moonlight and he doesn't like this exposing moment.

"How do you change that?" the older male just wants to stop loving Sungyoon, the owner of his heart and mind.

"It isn't easy, your heart isn't a switch, you can't just stop loving someone... that isn't how feelings work." Bomin is shocked at his own words.

Daeyeol removes himself from the maknae's embrace and stares at him.

"You always surprise me Bomin-ah." He gives him his dorky grin and runs his long fingers through the maknae's raven locks.

"Ay hyung." He whines and jut his pink plump bottom lip out into a pout.

The older chuckles and allows the younger to lay on his non existent thighs. "Thank you. Even if that is not the answer I wish to hear but I needed too."

He wishes he could love someone else but his heart only looks for one Choi Sungyoon and he hates himself just a bit more for it. For getting his hopes high, when he knows himself that hope is the first step to disappointment.

"I am always here hyung." He rubs his thumb in light circle motions against the older's hip.

"I wish Sungyoon would see my heart... but I know he would never love me." He hated the reality of the situation.

"I know what that feels like." He hates the aftertaste of regret.

"I hope Donghyun sees your heart soon... so you won't end up like your foolish hyung.

Bomin stops his earlier motion and tries not to let his own heart break. "I know Donghyun will never see me that way."

"I am sorry for that Bomin-ah." The older really is cuz one-sided love is a stomach ache that never goes away.

"I am foolish right? For loving someone so out of reach, it kills me inside! I feel so insignificant in his presence, he will never look at me that way! Nothing more than some stupid kid!" Bomin hates how his own foolish heart aches for someone so blind.

Daeyeol's heart breaks for the maknae, it sucks and he can empathize that feeling, they are both two fools in love with people that will never know.

He taps on the younger to sit up, he pulls the maknae into his arms and runs a loving hand up and down the maknae's back. Hoping this would help a bit of the sting, it hurts and they both can understand.

He kisses the top of Bomin's head and he can tell that both of them are suffering.

"We will get through this..." he wants to be hopeful for both of them but his own heart is not in the greatest shape either.

Bomin rest in Daeyeol's arms and his breathe evens out and the older man doesn't want to disrupt the younger's peaceful mind. He rest his eyes for a little and whispers "I love you."

His members are his everything and his family, he loves them with every piece of his heart.

"I love you too." Bomin mumbles back.

They are both fools in love. But the thing is Bomin was never in love with Donghyun but with his eldest hyung, one Lee Daeyeol, but just like Daeyeol, Sungyoon will never see his hyung's heart and Daeyeol will never see his.

They fall asleep on the couch in each others arms and that night they feel somewhat less alone than they were before.

_**-The End.** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I hope you like this different pairing. Like I said I want to venture into different pairings and I am trying to get to know each member and I am disappointed with myself that I didn't gibe Golden Child a chance earlier.
> 
> Again if anybody wants to request I will try to do so. But so far I am pretty confident in writing Jangyoon even if I am not completely correct, but don't be afraid to ask.
> 
> -AndreaXx


	8. The Manual (Tag/Seungmin)

**_ Song: The Manual- by: Eddy Kim  _ **

**_ Tag: _ **

**_ Seungmin: _ **

**__ **

**_ 3rd Person's P.O.V: _ **

The first thought in the morning is Seungmin and the last thought before the passing night is Seungmin, it was like a prayer, Youngtaek could not have it any other way!

Seungmin's shy smile, his heart warming laughter, his unguarded caring eyes, and even his relentless nagging made Youngtaek excited, his heart belong to the one and only Bae Seungmin and nobody, literally nobody could take his place.

Among the stars in the night sky, Seungmin's beauty rivaled their ethereal glow and Youngtaek always felt his breath taken at the site of the same age male, it was never a question or doubt that the taller man would stare at the masterpiece... a gift from the gods.

The only one for him, his soulmate, the person he hoped he could take to the next life. He would give up all the wealth in the world if it meant having the other male by his side, that is all the wealth he needs.

Every morning, the first thing he would see is Seungmin and he gets this burst of light, this overwhelming feeling in his heart, a sense of belonging, it was explainable! All he knows is that he wanted the male to be his.

Seungmin is his equal, his partner, and most of all his other self, they are two bodies with one heartbeat, he would never ask for more, This life time, Seungmin is his life line it only makes sense as long as Seungmin is beside him.

He cupped the sleeping males face and Seungmin snuggles into the light touch of Youngtaek's hands and smiled. That made the taller male stomach do multiple somersaults and he never felt more content than just by seeing him every morning.

Youngtaek wants a forever only if the fates allowed such gracious gifts, hopefully the heavens smiled upon the lovers and gave them the gift of eternity together, it is the only thing that makes complete and coherent sense, cuz nobody knew him the way Seungmin did.

His best friend, his lover, he felt like he was in paradise, it is a certain high that he would never wants to come down from and would refuse too. Cuz where ever Seungmin is, he is not that far behind. He would walk through the flames of hell and suffer, if it meant Seungmin could be by his side.

Youngtaek placed a passionate and soft kiss on the sleeping male's pink lips and the sleeping man kissed back.

He giggled with the kiss as his eyes locked onto Youngtaek.

They pulled apart "Good morning." Youngtaek pressed his lips against his cheek and Seungmin basked in the attention the taller always gave him.

"I hope you keep kissing me that way every morning, afternoon, day, evening, and night." he love the way Youngtaek kissed him as though it is their first and last kiss and it made Seungmin's heart beat faster.

"As long as you keep loving me." Youngtaek could never imagine a day where Seungmin is not there.

"Always!" They both basked in the morning glow, a signal of a new morning, a new day and one they shared.

Their hearts aligned in this time and place, their love burned with undying passion. Seungmin wants a forever with his best friend beside him and Youngtaek did not mind being forever with said man. They are a team!

Soulmates!

**_ The End _ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this wonderful short read and my first Tag/Seungmin fanfic
> 
> I am trying to do different pairings to make sure I don't bore you all with the same.
> 
> -AndreaXx


	9. He Is ((1/3) Jangjun/Sungyoon)

_**Song: 3 Libras- A Perfect Circle** _

__

_**Jangjun:** _

_**Sungyoon:** _

__

_**3rd Person's P.O.V:** _

Jangjun always ended up hurt or let down, he should have known that Sungyoon would never love him back. It hurt but he tried to and ended up with nothing but a broken heart on the bathroom floor and he should have been smart and cut his loses.

Yet, he kept pushing on and tried to get Sungyoon to notice his heart but he was always looked over. Or the older male would laugh it off like some playful joke and Jangjun is left feeling like nothing, he tried to get over Sungyoon, it's just.... he only imagined his life with him.

The younger wishes that Sungyoon could see him. He is always trying to get the older male to see him, his love, his affections, his heart, and Sungyoon never did.

He felt passed over, even with Jangjun throwing him the obvious but Sungyoon never saw.

Life is a cruel joke and Jangjun's heart could not take it anymore, so he looked for anyone, he didn't care who, just as long as they could exhaust the cracks from caving in his heart. He wishes he could never love but what kind of life is that?

"Jangjun-ah?" The rabbit like man walked into Jangjun's room and looked almost hesitant.

"Do you wanna go to the movies with me?" The older could feel his best friend pull away from him.

"I am not in the mood." The dark hair man was gonna go out again, just to numb his heart, yet again, he wish he could say yes to the eldest request. Yet, he just couldn't look at Sungyoon, it hurt to pretend like he was not suffering at all.

"Okay, please be careful and don't come home late." Sungyoon had been staying at his apartment since the older male's is being renovated. Jangjun did not want to say that living with Sungyoon is a living hell... but he would be lying.

The one you love is in front of you, but will never be with you, it hurt too much for Jangjun to ignore anymore and he had to do something about it before he implodes.

"I won't hyung." The younger lied.

"You have that big test tomorrow and you need a lot of rest." Sungyoon nagged at him.

All their friends called the duo an old married couple and that they should just get actually married. Sungyoon always laughed it off, but at the start, it would make the older upset and asked them "If they are out of their mind?" or "Do you wanna die!" and that stung.

"I understand honey." he joked but his heart hurt.

"Good!" Sungyoon walked away into his own room.

Jangjun needs a drink or twenty of them, just to forget his lonesome heart.

***

**_10:30 PM_ **

The older man waited for hours, he kept watch of the time since Jangjun left the house. It has been two hours since then, he felt irritated and upset with his friend for putting him through hell, it always scared him when Jangjun was not home before midnight.

He always freaked out cuz his friend could be dead in a ditch or been kidnapped! He always had to reminded himself that Jangjun is an adult now, that he could do whatever he likes, but he just hates the gaping hole in his heart.

He knew that Jangjun would never love him back but he will always be by his best friend's side. Through thick and thin, wherever Jangjun goes Sungyoon is coming along. He needs to always be beside him and remind the younger male, that no matter what, he has someone in his corner. Someone willingly follow him to the end of the world and if Jangjun only needs him as a best friend, than that is what he would be.

He called his other best friend for advice.

"What do you want?" Jaeseok deadpanned.

"Oh hello too you too Jae, how was your day? Mine, was great thanks for asking." He laughed.

"You stupid brat, what is up?" They're friendship goals.

"I need help..." he did not want to say more because the other male already knew the situation.

"Ah poor bastard, I am sorry you are going through this. I say tell him but I already know your answer. You both have known each other since you guys were kids, Jangjun would understand." Sungyoon should have called Daeyeol hyung.

"He will never like me in that way!" Sungyoon felt his heart break just a bit more.

"You don't know that cuz you are a coward." yup, he is regretting this call.

"Yes, pour more salt and lemons into the wound will you." Sungyoon sneered.

"I am sorry but I am being honest. I refuse to pity you or sugarcoat the truth for you Sungyoon-ah and if I did that. I am not being a best friend." He could not disagree with that logic.

"I know Jaeseok-ah but it just hurts and I don't want to lose him. I can bare being just friends, if it means still having him, you know." Jaeseok knew Sungyoon was not that bright as he always claimed.

"You are an idiot!" He is offended by his hyung's words.

"What does that mean!" Jaeseok was talking to a fucking brick at this point.

"You both really can't see!" he sighed.

"At first I felt bad for Jangjun-ah... now, I just think both of you are just a bunch of dumbasses." He could not believe the situation between the two male's and he is ready to give up.

"Seriously Jae!" The rabbit like man is frustrated.

"Hey, it is not my fault that you are completely blind to what is in front of you!" The same age man really wish he could punch Sungyoon through the phone.

"What!" his friend really is stupid.

"Jangjun is in love with you!" Jaeseok shouted at the man on the end of the line.

"Don't be cruel dude, that is a low blow." Sungyoon felt hurt cuz that is false hope.

"I would never do that, but I am telling you the truth Sungyoon. He looks at you as if you hold the whole universe and the drunk voice message you got from him." He remembered that, but thought Jangjun was joking or called the wrong person.

"This isn't funny Jae!" Sungyoon started to get upset at his best friend.

"I know, but you refuse to see the truth and for reasons, I don't know... but a drunk mind speaks a sober heart." with that being said Jaeseok hung up on Sungyoon.

"Fuck you too than!" he yelled into the white noise.

He decided to get some rest before Jangjun gets back, so he could sober him up.

**_****_ **

He woke up around two- fifteen am, to loud giggling and stumbling drunks. He got up from his own bed and opened up his door just enough to see and what he saw, it hurt, a lot, the older man hated what he saw.

He wanted to throw up or yell at the tumbling couple that walked in, it is Jangjun with an unknown guest and one that is kissing his best friend and he felt upset.

"Jangjun-ah." He pretended to not see anything.

"Oh shit." He cursed and tried to make the other person quiet down.

"It is me, I am home and going to bed. You should sleep too." the younger shouted and Sungyoon was far from okay.

"Okay." He wanted to cry but he refuse to let any tears fall.

It hurts him, it felt like a bullet to the heart, as Jangjun looked past him and right into the arms of another, but he knew Jangjun would never want him. He is a tsundere type person and he can be stubborn and unforgiving to the younger man but he did not mean to be that way.

He could hear them resume to their intentions and the man wanted to throw up or disappear.

How could Jangjun just lie?

Why!

His heart felt a mix of emotions and he just wanted to scream and throw things!

He laid down on his bed and tried to pretend he couldn't hear the sound of his heart breaking into two.

**_***_ **

Jangjun hated lying to his hyung but he knew the male would never understand. So he just threw himself into another pair of arms and pretended they belong to his hyung and it hurts so much. He will never have Sungyoon and he had to be okay with that.

The stranger underneath him panted and moan begging for Jangjun to go faster and all he could hear is his best friend's and first love's voice and that killed him, but he did as asked cuz he wanted to live in the fantasy before it ends.

"Sungyoon." he moaned.

His own heart broke and that night he was alone in a cold bed and with a person he so desperately wished that is his hyung.

_******* _

Tragedy strikes like a hurricane and they suffered greatly as they both saw past each other and their eyes never meeting and their hearts always at war and the battle that is a struggle, always ending in tears and with no one winning.

Sungyoon would always love Jangjun from afar. As Jangjun would also love Sungyoon from afar.

Such a sad fate.

**_-TBC_ ** ****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I hope you enjoyed there is two more parts to this story. 
> 
> -AndreaXx


	10. Written In The Stars (Jibeom/Jaehyun)

_**Song: Written In The Stars- John Legend & Wendy (Red Velvet)** _

_**Jibeom:** _

_**Jaehyun:** _

__

_**3rd Person's P.O.V:** _

He did not believe in love, Yet Jaehyun proved multiple times over that Jibeom is in love. It is odd feeling in his heart, it is a phenomenon that no one could explain... no logical reason.

Jibeom felt a warmth that spread around his body, it is like being wrapped in a blanket on a cold winter night. He wanted to always feel that way, it is raw and real even if he can't voice his emotions... it is there.

He saw Jaehyun in a crowded room among many and their eyes connected, it was July when spark fly, they met in a cafe, a secret gem of a place, located in Seoul that not many people knew. The dark haired male wore sweatpants, a stylish black hoodie, and converse, and his short black locks hidden by a cap.

While the other male wore a suit, it looked to be fitted and tailor made, his hair blonder cut short and quaffed, and he wore oxblood dress shoes. Jibeom wondered what a man like him was doing in a bohemian poetry type cafe house.

Jaehyun caught him staring and Jibeom couldn't look away from him, it felt impossible and all he could do is smile. The same age male smiled and it was like sunshine, it is incredible feeling.

That day felt like dejavu.

***

"Jaehyun, I love you." Jibeom stared at the sleeping male.

He is the little spoon and he didn't mind being held by his lover at all. He didn't believe in love but Jaehyun made him believe in the wonders and possibilities of what love could be.

The moment they met, it was over for the quiet and (likes to believe) rational male, it was not up for question cuz Jaehyun made him a believer, with just his presence alone. Everything Jibeom believed in was thrown out the window and he didn't question it.

"Thank you." Jibeom pecked his lips with a kiss.

Jaehyun made him feel safe and loved and nobody could ever make him feel sane or complete the way his best friend and lover does.

"You have given me a lifetime of happiness to look forward too." He whispers to himself.

How did he do it? Jaehyun is someone that was not even human, the way he sees natural beauty and the evergreen glow of life, it is impossible.

Jibeom snuggled closer to his love and he could never imagine being with anyone else.

All the other people he has been with could never amount to the man that holds him up like the stars and moon even further than that.

He knew that one night stands and fuck buddies, were just another warm body, that is a moment and one that will soon be forgotten, while Jaehyun gave him a lifetime of moments that could never compare.

He wants a lifetime.

In the good and bad, he only wants his bright eyed and sunshine smile like lover, it would never be a question, he would laugh if someone asked him 'if you could back in time and change anything,would you?' He wouldn't.

He would move mountains and freeze over hell for his lover and he would happily do it again. As long as he is by Jaehyun's side, it is the only place he would be and no one would never question the validity of his feelings or action.

The sincerity and love in his doe eyes is all the confirmation any would need.

"It is only you." It is mornings like this that make him grateful.

To be stuck in time for awhile and just look at Jaehyun, love is like a movie, it is in a compilation of laughter and tears and Jibeom loved every moment. Cuz Jaehyun shared those times with him and he would never take that trust and love for granted.

He ran his slim fingers down Jaehyun's side in a soothing motion of circles and zig zags.

"You are my nirvana." Jibeom professed in the silence of the gentle morning, as sunlight breaks through the little cracks of the blinds. Pink and white hues light up the dark room making him feel calm.

Since the beginning Jibeom felt him. In every way, it was always this weird 7th sense and he could never explain the bond that tied him to this man.

He could tell when Jaehyun was in the same room, when he is upset, in distress, happy, nervous, and other things. He could tell, it was like they were in synergy.

"You make me feel loved." He never bought into "soulmates" or "the one", it is complete crap to him and he thought his friends were crazy.

Love was an enigma to the same age male. But the greatest lesson he learned from Jaehyun, is too love and be loved in returned.

He never fully understood the concept of love or what it entailed. He learned at a young age from his mother that love is a shame and that it brought nothing good. He was taught to guard his heart and never give away his love freely, it would be his fault if he fell and ended up broken.

So he did as his mother instructed and kept his walls up and built a fortress that nobody could break down. He rather have lost than to love at all and he stood by his statements and convictions even if some believed he was misguided.

"I keep coming back and you always let me in." Jibeom smiled brightly.

The way Jaehyun opened his heart to the other male made his heart leap. Jaehyun worked in marketing, a cut throat business and he understood how calculated his lover is and that he doesn't mean to be cold at times.

Jaehyun was actually a sweet heart when it came too Jibeom, he could feel the love that radiates like a heater from his lover. Not many people could see Jaehyun the way he gets to see him and the way he held the same age male's heart, made him feel the opposite of his mother's cruel words.

He promised every day, that he would be the person he needs to be, who Jaehyun could be proud to call his. But Jaehyun always made him feel enough and made sure that he never had to go looking for anyone else.

Jaehyun's heart is his home.

"I love you too Jibeommie." He pressed a loving kiss on his lover's lips.

Jaehyun loved the way the sun light shined on Jibeom's light-tanned skin and his short auburn hair shined. He noticed every little detail that made him fall in love with the man in his arms.

Most importantly, the way Jibeom's eyes showed himself like an open book and Jaehyun kept reading, beyond looks and strong exterior was a person Jaehyun wants to spend every second, of every day with.

Jibeom felt love, when he looked into the eyes of his guardian angel. He felt like a sap for thinking such things but his lover made him this way.

He felt his heart grow, a heart full of love is what Jibeom felt and he could never ask for more.

_**-The End** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Well this was cheesy, I am sorry guys. Well I hope you all did enjoy it tho.
> 
> -AndreaXx


	11. More Than Just A Dream (Sungyoon/Jangjun)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry for the long wait, it has been a crazy time but I am back and with a new update!

**_ Song: Out Of My League- Fitz and the Tantrums  _ **

**__ **

**_ Jangjun _ ** **_ & _ ** **_ Sungyoon _ ** **_ : _ **

_**3rd Person's P.O.V:** _

_**Location:** _ _**Jangjun's** _ _**apartment living room-** _

He did not want to wake up if this is just a dream! It feels like a huge con, it is unbelievable how he got someone like Sungyoon to date him! He felt excited, on cloud nine really, yet he felt like this is not right? Sungyoon is out of his league.

Why would he want somebody plain and boring like Lee Jangjun?

He could get anyone he wants!

Why him?

Jangjun is not someone of such standards, to be next to an adonis like Choi Sungyoon. He is the campus star and Jangjun is just a nobody, invisible, kind of like furniture. Nobody could understand it at first either, it came out of nowhere.

Sungyoon came to him!

He asked Jangjun out and to be his boy friend!

This does not happen for somebody like him, luck is not in his vocabulary, it is unexplained to his confused mind and spirit.

"Why did you ask me out?" Jangjun asked his boyfriend.

"I have been in love with you since middle school. All those letter, small gifts, and tiny love notes... they were all from me. I wanted you to notice me and see me, but I felt inadequate and not good enough. I wanted to be someone you could admit to love." Sungyoon admits with a scared heart.

"Sungyoon, people have always loved you and want to be around you, it is me that feels like the one lacking!" Jangjun tries to ignore the ache in his heart.

His lover has always been in the limelight and center of attention to everyone and anyone. Hearing those words from him, it made him stop a moment and he didn't know what to say to him.

"People didn't really like me for me, it was for their own selfish gain and I never had true friends Jangjun-ah. You actually talked to me like I was just another person, treated me with kindness and anyone with kindness, even if they were jerks, you always greeted me with a warm smile and took the time and interest in me and what I had to say."Sungyoon has always been grateful to his boyfriend for all those years back in school.

"I love you cuz of your soul and the beauty you possess inside and out. I was always afraid you would never feel the same about me and so I hid those feelings, until now and I am happy you share the same heart. I always felt like I was out of your league to be truthful." He tries to hide his discomfort of his own insecurities.

"I think you are out of my league." Jangjun couldn't believe it. 

"You are one in a million Lee Jangjun You shine brightly and I hope you know that you are more than what you give yourself credit for." He wants the man to know what is truly in his heart.

He knew this was more than just a dream.

_**-The End** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hope you love the update and comments and likes are appreciated.
> 
> -AndreaXx


	12. Starry Night (Jibeom/Jaehyun)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Double update but this time Jaehyun/Jibeom. I love them so much and I am sorry about this one.

**_ Song:Vincent (Starry, starry night)- Gift cover (originally by Don  _ ** **_ Mclean _ ** **_ ) _ **

**_ Jaehyun _ ** **_ & _ ** **_ Jibeom _ ** **_ :  _ **

**_ 3rd Person's P.O.V: _ **

They met in the summer and loved in the spring, got lost in the fall and broke down in the winter.

The sky never looked more gloom than today, they spent so many days trying to remember why they had loved each other at all, it was hazy memories, the flowers no longer bloom and their hearts no longer in groove with one another.

When they look at each other... they saw a spark of regret or loneliness.

"You should just go!" Jibeom roared like thunder, anger strikes the silent air.

He really didn't mean it.

"I hate you!" Jaehyun strikes back as he throws his ring at the other man.

He didn't mean a single word, only love in his heart.

"I never loved you!" He so dearly wants to take back those words.

Jaehyun tried to keep the wounded animal look from taking over, but he couldn't help the heartache that follows next.

"Well... you always must get the last word Jibeom-ah, even if it means hurting others and you say it so shamelessly and without guilt! I will leave and that is a promise." Jaehyun heaves as he turns away from his lover.

He tries to keep himself from collapsing, like dominoes, their relationship is like dominoes, the trust and love is all but woeful. All they knew how to do is throw stones at one another, it is hard to decipher if it was ever love or just lust that kept them going.

They knew the truth, in their hearts that never knew hate for one another, only love and evergreen bliss of what could be a beautiful beginning and never ending.

How could they be so careless with one another's affections and paper thin hearts, how could they forget those midnight promises and their soft spoken kisses. The way they gave themselves to one another for millions of life time's over and here they stand.

They wound each other with sharp dagger tongues and whiplash words and their heart piercing glares and stares, both not willing to compromise and stand down. Their prides built like steel and hell fire, it is even too great than themselves.

Both wishing to go to the other but they just sit in silence of the passing night.

**_ -The End _ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Angst is in the air! 
> 
> -AndreaXx


	13. Oh No (Sungyoon/Jangjun)

_**Song: Oh No- Bring Me The Horizon** _

**_Sungyoon:_ **

_**JangJun:** _

  
_**3rd Person's P.O.V:**_  
  
They would always be one step ahead of one another, pushing and pulling, never really settling for what they have built with each other.

The love they gave to one another, it would never be enough and neither truly satisfied, it will always come around again. Neither one wanting to admit the wrong they have caused each other, as they continue to do so, it is just another day, but they keep creating and reopening wounds like it is a silly kids game. Like it means nothing, both not willing to drop their weapons.

They had problems, no couple is truly perfect and yet they perceive themselves as though they are happy and whole, that their life together is one big festival and people ate that up. Nobody dare to question what was really behind the lies or mask, nobody dared to venture that rabbit hole, too afraid to see the reality of their world.

They wrapped it up in a box and put a pretty lavender bow on top and called it their love, they too are afraid to open it up, too afraid of what they might find. The flaws and errors are stacking against them and they just can't bring themselves to untangle it. So they keep smiling and laughing, playing their part so well, it even made them believe that this isn't some fucked up game of hide and go seek.

They are here and both just waiting for something more than what they are acting out, neither one is ready to quit everything they have built together, even if some of it is not what they wanted or based on a lie. Still they had this weird sense of loyalty to one another, they matched and challenged one another in many ways and still they were eager for more.

They knew nothing more than bloodshed and body counts, being apart of the mafia is a life one does not always choose to lead but they made due with the cards they are give and dealt with by life, it is just one huge joke at some point.

Sungyoon no longer wanted this life, he wanted to have the white picket fence, a golden retriever, a nine-to-five job, to spend his life with Jangjun, the whole nine yards is what he wanted. While Jangjun enjoyed tangoing with death, the rush that spread through his veins giving him a high that he couldn't, or wouldn't come down from.

He didn't want to end it, being with Sungyoon is a bonus but it was just sex, he didn't want to admit to anything further than the lust they felt for each other, he didn't want to admit the feelings he harboured within, to afraid for the truth to confront him.

Killing is a second nature to both males, being a part of the biggest mafia in South Korea is an honor, it is also a life sentence, they both worked hard to get where they are and to be who they are. This life came with a price and whatever happens is the outcome they are destine to live with.

Love is unneeded baggage and a mass casualty. Sungyoon would be willing to lay down his life for the younger, as Jangjun would do the same for his hyung. But sometimes Sungyoon didn't want Jangjun to leave on certain task or duties. He allowed his emotions and intimate ties to cloud his judgement.

They tend to fight about this issue a lot and both blowing up the argument even more with dagger like precious their words hit there mark, its blow as heavy as the last, they wouldn't let go. How could they? In the end they are holding on to something they no longer believe in, the cause they fought so hard for, it was all for nothing!

"You can stay or come with me Jangjun-ah. But tonight I am leaving and never coming back, this isn't the life I want or need." Sungyoon knew if he left that he would never be welcome back.

They would kill him, this is a life sentence, an eternity contract, there is no escape.

"You are an idiot Choi Sungyoon! You know that once you leave, you are no longer under their protection and now a name on their kill list. You would be branded as a trader and killed!" Jangjun felt vile rush up his throat like title waves to the shore line.

"We all have been lied to, I refuse to stay and fight for this "family", in the end we are expendable! They used us all, used our weaknesses and pain, told to believe in a fallacy masked as an oasis for the hopeless." Everyone had a reason as to why they went there.

Broken homes, murdered someone, abused, lost, the broken, the beaten, wanting a purpose, and the list goes on. They were told that this is their home now, that this is family, and no one would be left behind again.

Sungyoon, he wanted out, no longer wanted to be a pawn and he would leave even if it killed him. He did not fear death no longer, he had many run in with the fallen angel. He just wanted to rid himself of the life he use to lead and the person he use to be, it is not what he wanted anymore and maybe never did.

"I will have to inform them you left and they won't be happy." Jangjun felt useless.

"Come with me." Sungyoon knew this is foolish, this life still meant something to the younger male, he spent half of his life time with the mafia, while Jangjun, he has barely started, two years since he came here looking for meaning and hope.

He is selfish to ask the other man to leave this behind but Sungyoon wants to save him from the reality that he woke up to, they were all just casualties, just sheep to the slaughter and he couldn't let that happen to him.

Jangjun wanted to go, a part of him would follow his hyung anywhere and nowhere, he trust his life more to the bunny like man than anyone else in this place. He loves him, he just can't leave, he knew what they would do if they both leave, hunt them down and kill them. If Sungyoon left, he could give him time to get far away from here and to safety.

"You know I can't!" Jangjun tried to not lash out at the man.

Sungyoon is hurt, he wish Jangjun would care, give a ounce about their relationship, it was always him putting in the effort and giving a shit about Jangjun! He never expected anything in return or even love, he just wants Jangjun to give a damn about him! In this last moment, he wanted to see Jangjun's heart, it is pathetic to think that in the end Jangjun would choose him over this life that would never.

"Then this is a good bye Jangjun-ah." He couldn't force him to leave or beg anymore.

He couldn't stay here, this was his only chance and he would take it, even if Jangjun begged him to stay, he would leave and never turn back. With that thought he picked up his duffle bag with the little he had and walked out the door. Jangjun would have to return to base without him and for good.

He had to do this and Jangjun didn't stand in his way while he walked out of the door and his life. He would take the service entrance and into the alley way, meet his contact and disappear, like a whisper into the wind and just like Jangjun's silent confession, all but a memory of a memory.

Never to be relieved or forgotten, they will meet again someday, this isn't the end, or well at least they both prayed it would not be.

**_ -The End _ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I'm back y'all!


	14. Full Circle (Jibeom/Jaehyun)

_**Song: Full Circle- Movements** _

_**Jibeom:** _

_**Jaehyun:** _

  
  
  
  
  
  
**_"Little angel go away_ **   
**_Come again some other day_ **   
**_The devil has my ear today_ **   
**_I'll never hear a word you say_ **   
**_Promised I would find a little_ **   
**_Solace and some peace of mind_ **   
**_Whatever just as long as I don't feel so_ **

**_Desperate, ravenous_ **   
**_So weak and powerless"_ **

**_~Weak and Powerless by A Perfect Circle_ **

**_ Song: Full Circle By Movements _ **

**_3rd Person's P.O.V:_ **

Jaehyun tried, through and through, it was never enough in the end. He simply couldn't do it anymore but he knew that Jibeom needed someone in his corner more than ever.

Yet, he knew that Jibeom has not been himself for years. The blonde haired male felt powerless, every breathe, every sunrise, every sunset, and each passing months, Jaehyun felt hope wither away.

His faith shaken in many ways.

It was no secret, about the obstacles and troubles Jibeom faces, and Jaehyun tried so hard to fix things that couldn't be put back together, but he wanted to try. It was noble but selfish to want to fix someone, when they aren't a project. Jibeom is a person and Jaehyun shouldn't expect that one morning, his lover would wake up anew.

Patience is a virtue, it was something he needed to learn but he just didn't want to, he is stubborn and relentless when it came to the ones he loves the most. The flaws in his system made him go crazy, not Jibeom's, his own, cuz deep down he knew.

"Jibeom?" He approached the other male cooped up in his study alone.

Jibeom did not respond, Jaehyun opened the door, it was daunting and he tried to push back the cry that wanted to escape his suppressed throat. But seeing him just sit there frozen in time, while the world around him buzz with life and beauty.

"Jibeom?" He tried again.

Yet again, in vain, the platinum blonde sighed and tried to move closer to the dark haired male. He just sat there in his leather chair in his work slacks and a cardigan with nothing under it, it seems as though Jibeom has been in here since last night.

Jaehyun didn't know how much more he could take before he completely broke down in tears, it was hard to watch someone you love dying in front of you and you couldn't do anything but just sit and watch, it was hopeless and he hated himself.

He approached the still male and he was afraid that Jibeom would break out into another violent episode.

"hey, it's me." He stood next to the male as they looked at the open window, watching dawn break and the sun smiling in joy and Jaehyun wanted to smile. But his muscle memory failed him. Happiness has not been known in his heart ever since Jibeom, it was hard to think or talk about the events that lead to this time and space.

He wasn't asleep or awake, it seems like he is stuck in limbo and Jaehyun had to bring him out gently and calmly, it was always like this.

"Jibeom..." He stood in front of the male and crouched down to eye level, hoping for a miracle.

"It is morning love, time to come out now." His heart tried to bare the pain and hurt.

"Jibeom..." he put his hand on the other male and lightly shook him.

"Jibeom time too-"

"You don't deserve this."his voice raw and hoarse.

"Jibeom, what do you mean." Jaehyun knew deep down.

"Don't play dumb!" he flinch at the callousness in Jibeom's tone.

"You are trapped here and you know it." the man's words sting.

"Leave me!" HE shouted in Jaehyun's face.

Regardless, Jaehyun took it and the man hated himself even more for allowing his lover to do so.

"Why do you stay with someone as pitiful and disgusting as me?" Jibeom knew Jaehyun was meant for more than this house of misery.

"I love you." He scoffed at his lover's words.

"You don't love me. Loving me destroyed you and now you are stuck in this rut of mine." Jibeom had cut off all the power lines in his heart knowing that the results of feeling, it would lead to unbearable and painful conclusion.

He wasn't willing to risk Jaehyun's life as collateral damage, he was more than that and Jibeom knew deep down. Him and Jaehyun will forever be on different ends of the same chapter and that is what killed him inside.

He would always be ten steps ahead of him and before he knew it, Jaehyun would be on to the next part of this tangled equation, where they never seems to be an answer but only more steps to what appears to be simple math problem.

One that anyone could do, yet Jibeom never could seem to do the right thing and made a great stretch between him and Jaehyun, but he did nothing about it and continued to allow such precious and irreplaceable time slip from his head. Although, He never took for granted the subtle glances, caressed touches, frantic affection they share between one another in random and unexpected times.

Jibeom did not know how Jaehyun could stand the noisy silence and cold bed, it made him go crazy thinking, Jaehyun is alone; even with him there. His lover shouldn't have to live this way! Jibeom knew that he should have let Jaehyun go a long time ago, yet, his lover never let him go. Never gave up on him and never turned his back on him, for the longest time, this has always been their conclusion.

He knew that and Jibeom felt like he was taking advantage of Jaehyun's kindness, by being such a burden, and he felt like the other male took pity on him and decided to stay and bare the pain cuz that is what Jaehyun does. Jaehyun is too selfless for his own good and Jibeom loathed and love that part of the male, it made his lover more human, in a way Jibeom is jealous of that attribute that he never had.

"If you knew what is in my mind... you wouldn't be here." Jibeom looked out onto the horizon of the Seoul sky.

"You know, nothing you could say could make me leave." Jaehyun loves Jibeom and knew that the same age male has so much to give to the world and that he isn't a lost cause, it killed him to know whatever he tried to do, it just wasn't enough.

"You are so naive and pure hearted and that is what makes you a fool." Jibeom's words pierced Jaehyun's fragile heart and he could see the hurt painted on his lover's face.

"Love does that to people, makes them a blind fool." He tried not to cry.

"Love isn't real Jaehyun! Why do you constantly fill yourself with dead hope in this forsaken home? Why put yourself through all my suffering?" Jibeom is slipping back into head space.

"You told me once, that you have gone too long without a smile and that you have reason to stay, my heart beat faster that day. You looked at me as though I was sunshine, you have never once told me that you love me but that day it felt much more." Jaehyun wasn't going to give up on the other male.

He knew that too many people have and he wasn't going to be one of them. He made a promise in his own heart that Jibeom would never be alone ever again, he knew that Jibeom has everything in the world but depression didn't care and decided to overstay its visit.

Jaehyun was at the end of his limit and he so desperately tried to hold on to what was left, but he couldn't save Jibeom, no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't do it. This was something Jibeom had to do for himself and Jaehyun had to give him time, he felt like, him being there was not doing Jibeom any good.

"I am sorry, I failed you Jibeom." Jaehyun tried to smile but it felt like anchors were tied to the corners of his mouth.

"I think we need to take a break Jibeom..." Jibeom felt a piece of his heart break.

He thought that Jaehyun leaving would give him peace but it did the opposite, he didn't know if that was good or bad and he just couldn't comprehend anything in this state of mind.

"This isn't a goodbye but a see you later. I think by me being here is not doing you any justice." Jaehyun couldn't do it anymore and he was starting to run out of options and so maybe this would be Jibeom's best option.

"You are leaving me too. I am not surprised." He knew that Jaehyun wasn't breaking up with him but the hurt in his guarded heart spoke a different tale and it hurts like hell.

"Your smile has dimmed and your eyes are burnt out.... Jibeom.... you aren't yourself, for the longest time even before me. I don't know anymore.... each day you start to lose yourself and I am forced to watch you wither away slowly." Jaehyun cried as he kept watching the love of his life get worse.

"I don't know what you mean Jaehyun?" The other male tried to hide the hurt of years past, the skeletons in his closet keep piling up and he couldn't close it anymore.

Jibeom didn't know what Jaehyun was saying but he did. He didn't want to admit the truth, denial was his best friend and he always went with the latter,he knew how to hide his feelings but losing someone he loves, the only person that gave a damn about him, it felt like a car crash, well it feels like what it would be.

Jibeom is a freakin mess and Jaehyun so badly wanted to fix him, but he knew that he couldn't do it. This was something he had to do for himself, yet Jaehyun, so desperately tried to pick him up and tried to put back the shattered pieces together.

"You will forget about me... they all do. I wasn't what you wanted so you just abandon ship... you aren't any better." Jibeom's first instinct to protect himself is aggression.

"Jibeom, I can't keep pretending like everything isn't falling apart...like this isn't some messed up nightmare! For the longest time we have been together, I have put everything on hold and left everyone that said you were just a waste of time, that you had all the money in the world and I was just another project." Jaehyun couldn't bare it anymore.

"I defended you cuz I believed in you and I saw the good in you and I wanted to show you exactly who you are Kim Jibeom ." Jaehyun's heart kept breaking.

"Jibeom , I couldn't fix you and I know it sounds stupid, you aren't some school project and I shouldn't have been foolish!" Jaehyun hopes nothing but the best for his lover.

"I must let you go and let you find yourself. I can't make you happy or to make you love yourself, you must do that on your own." Jibeom had to find himself if he wanted a chance to live.

"Call me when you decide that you love yourself." That was the hardest part for Jaehyun, having to let go, but he knew he had too.

Jaehyun got up and dusted himself off "I know you can do it Jibeom . You must fight for your life cuz you are a fighter and a pretty damn good one I must say," He kissed the top of Jibeom's head and walked away from him.

It hurt so much to turn away but he couldn't stay in this broken home anymore. One day might come, or not but he never stayed long enough for his brain to concoct a negative scenario and he didn't want too.

Jibeom is alone again...

**_****_ **

Jaehyun had to for his own sake, it hurt him more than Jibeom would truly ever know. But he couldn't look into the eyes of a fallen angel, eyes of a tragedy.

This was no longer his fight and it never was...

Jibeom needed the will to live again and he knew that Jibeom will get to that path once again.

One day, they can walk on that flowery road but for now, it just wasn't the right time or place. The other male was at war with himself and Jaehyun tried to make peace but he never could, Jibeom was his own worst enemy.

Jaehyun looked around one last time, he laid the letter on the coffee table and grabbed his suitcase and left back to his own. He didn't have much but it didn't matter cuz Jibeom is Jaehyun's greatest love, but today, Jibeom is his greatest sorrow.

He would carry that with him until the time they meet once more, when the stars and moon align, once again and all is said and done, the moment of true nirvana, is the day when the sun will rise in Jibeom's skyline once more.

That is the time they could smile with no regrets, it was one Jaehyun held onto, no matter what their fate is.

***   
All Jibeom could do is sit and stare at nothing! Even though there is color and life in this cruel existence, it was never a trick question or doubt in his mind. Now everything seems so gone, like nothing had ever changed, Jaehyun brought a little bit of light to his dull life.

Now it is like a fog that has masked over and he can't seem to find the exit sign anymore. It is all hazy and faulty and Jibeom felt paralyzed in this strange world and he just curled back into himself.

What was he supposed to do?

He depended so much on his lover, for everything, it hit him like a freight train, it dawned on the other male that he used Jaehyun.

His lover never complained or argued with him and Jibeom treated him like crap, yet Jaehyun still loves him.

This was not a wake up call but self-actualization or some self confrontation. Even an intervention, Or not.

A piece of his conscious came and went.

Jibeom just did nothing.

**_-The end_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I'm back y'all, I have had some of these updates just sitting around and not put out. Cuz I have been feeling insecure about my writing. I realized the reason I write is for myself and nobody else, I am going to continue cuz it makes me happy. Plus practice makes perfect right?


	15. Death Of A Bachelor (Sungyoon/Jangjun)

  
  
  
**_ Song: Death Of A Bachelor- Panic! At The Disco _ **   
  
**_ Sungyoon _ **

  
**_ Jangjun _ **

  
  
  


**_3rd Person's P.O.V:_ **

He couldn't believe it!

Nobody believed him at first.

Choi Sungyoon, the most devilishly rich man in Korea and known for his extensive list of conquest, is getting married!

This is a shock, it is like a weird dream that one always remembers cuz of how odd and inaccurate it is. This is like that, but this is real, and every time he told his loved one's they laughed and told him to stop joking.

Sungyoon is not one to have lasting relationships, it is rare, like once every blue moon and even then he wasn't very good at it. He 'dated' many people, he had no preference in his chosen company and nobody really spoke about it either. He had an exotic taste and being who he is, nobody batted an eyelash, they just simply obeyed his every command and without hesitation.

But he met his match and one that wasn't dazzled by his wealth or power, he was stunned at first, nobody and he means no one ever said no to Choi Sungyoon. Yet Lee Jangjun isn't just anyone, he did a lot of stupid things to garn the youngers attention and even then he seems defeated. 

He worked for Jangjun's time and each moment after, he wanted more than just a night, he wanted something raw and real than sex, see sex is simple and he has it figured out and it was really easy to get his prey submit to his wish. He never had to put in effort or just spent time outside of a bedroom and a part of him grew soft and domestic, yet he grew anxious and worrisome of this side of himself. 

He had hurt his lover more times than he can count his fingers, yet each time Jangjun stayed and forgave him and he felt sorry towards the younger for his words and actions. Choi Sungyoon, the old him never felt the need to people frightful or regretful, he took what he wanted and never apologized for it. 

He knew that he would never be good enough for Jangjun and he didn't care, cuz he is selfish and greedy, even when it comes to love. He wouldn't let anyone have Jangjun and he didn't want anyone else. 

***

People stopped laughing once Jangjun introduced himself at the get together Sungyoon had thrown at his house, it was funny, his family and friends reactions to his fiance. The whole place went silent at his presences and they wonder how this kind, generous, and saint of a man accepted Choi Sungyoon's, out of every possible suitor in Korea! How did he accept this man's proposal?

He is nothing like they all thought he would be, he is the life of the party and considerate, lively and warm, and he is witty and sensible. Jangjun never thought he would be here, never expected to find someone like his hyung, he loves Sungyoon even after everything the older has put him through and many thought he is foolish for agreeing. Yet they didn't know the man like he did and at times he too is afraid but Sungyoon keeps proving himself and showing up when he needs him. 

The first two years of their relationship was not pretty or magical like they made it out to be, it was heartbreaking and tearful, yet another three years later and here they are and they didn't want to say anything until they knew it was serious. He would have never agreed to marry to Sungyoon if he didn't think the other man wasn't committed the way he is and Sungyoon has redeemed himself.

He heard the whispers and gossip, it was no surprise when people talk to him and asked about their relationship and at times Jangjun felt uncomfortable and upset. He didn't like the way they all stared at the him in wonder and even asked him how much the older man is paying him or if he is dying! Jangjun would always laugh and give them his award winning smile, giving them a sickly-sweet response.

He knew that whatever they hinted at or assumed it was just that. Outsiders opinion and a way to make him feel small, a lot of the guest are high profile people and Jangjun is a kindergarten teacher, he isn't blinded by the bling or fast lane lifestyle, he is simple and easy going. He felt out of place but Sungyoon would always be there to make sure that he wasn't alone and if anyone dare to be nasty towards Jangjun, Sungyoon would not let it slide, but many had seen the way the older man would melt like chocolate when it came to his lover, he had a different aura and tone. 

A lot of people actually understood why the richest man would fall for Jangjun, he is charming and down to earth, they all found it funny how he could get Sungyoon to bend to his will and at times behave, they are disgustingly cute. 

"I would like to thank you all for coming and meeting my fiance. He is one of a kind and all mine. So let's raise a glass to him and tonight as this is the death of a bachelor." Sungyoon raises his champagne glass and downs it in one go.

Yet, they still didn't believe it. Many believed that they younger is gonna get his heartbroken and that a man like Sungyoon could and would never change, they pitied him and hope that once their suspicions are proven correct, Jangjun wouldn't suffer greatly. 

Jangjun nor Sungyoon cared about their ideas or opinions cuz they both knew that he is a committed guy and that he found the one and Jangjun knew that the older man is not some white knight, but he did know is that Sungyoon is not one to do things lightly or jokingly. They are both in it for the long run.

The happy couple didn't have to prove anything to anyone, the only opinion mattered is their own and so they let them talk. 

**_-The End_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I am really enjoying this and having fun writing these very short writings, it is enjoyable.
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed this wonderful read. Again, thank you all for the support and love! ❤❤❤
> 
> Thank you my lovely readers I hope you are healthy and happy. Keep it weird everyone, love you all.
> 
> -AndreaXx


	16. No More Suckers (Jibeom/Jaehyun)

  
**_   
_ **

**_ Song: No More Suckers- Marina  _ **

**_ Jibeom: _ **

**_ Jaehyun: _ **

  
  
  
  


**_3rd Person's P.O.V:_ **

He knew that Jibeom would be his biggest mistake.

Jaehyun had a lengthy list of past lovers that turn out to be straight, a stalker, a psycho, has a toe fetish, obsessive, and just not normal.

There is nothing bad with not being normal... the only normal thing and less strange is turning out to be straight. The rest were a bit to over the top for his taste.

He had multiple warning signs and flashing red lights that made it clear! It is transparent, nothing could hide from him and he had no excuse either.

This guy, handsome and kind-hearted man with wide eyes and legs for days, like days and he should be a model cuz damn! He wants to climb that man like a tree!

He never got the message or the sign from god telling him to get the fuck out of dodge, nothing like that sorts, it was fine actually and that is usually a sign too or at least it should.

The blonde is use to dysfunctional and unorthodox relationships, it isn't anything new to him and he has seen it all, or at least he thinks he has. He shouldn't be flabbergasted by the other man's caring attitude and need to take care of him. The thing is, he is, very much so, cuz the guys he usually dates are real assholes, it is toxic and just bad but he loves it.

No, this guy, Kim Jibeom is different.

"I missed you a lot." He smiled shyly at Jaehyun and that made him weak at the knees.

"You did Jibeom-ah?" The same age male stood shocked at the door by the red haired man that holds a box of chicken and soju. 

He had always been the one to initiate contact and made the effort to make the relationship last and work, it was tiring but the sex was great, at least their sex-drive compensated for their shitty personality.

Jaehyun moved so the man can come in.

They had been dating for almost six months and this is his second longest relationship with a guy, the first was two years but it was just fuck buddies type thing with his best friend and senior Seunghyub but he turned out to be straight, so this is actually his first real relationship.

"Thank you, that is really thoughtful of you." Jaehyun comes up from behind the man and kissed his cheek as he sat the food down on the kitchen island.

"I really like you a lot Jaehyun-ah, I want you to know that you deserve to be treated right and romanced." Even if the other lover can be a bit distant and cold at times, underneath he is a sweet and considerate guy.

He wants this relationship to go somewhere instead of in tears. He is done with those type of guys and Kim Jibeom looks like his type but he is far from those pigs, it is nice and he wants to be enough for the man as well.

No more suckers, he is done with those types and ready to be treated and cared for properly. Kim Jibeom is just his kind of guy and he promises to love him just as much or even more.

**_-The End_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I am so in love with Bongbeom, it is not even funny. I have written more stories about them cuz they are just too cute and I know this is a huge ship but I need more content about them two and fanfics as well cuz I feel like I have gone through all of the stories on this site! 
> 
> Anyways I hope you guys enjoyed the update!
> 
> -AndreaXx


	17. R U Mine? (Sungyoon/Jangjun)

**_ Song: R U Mine?- Arctic Monkeys  _ **

**_ Sungyoon: _ **

**_ Jangjun: _ **

  
  
  
  
**_ 3rd Person's P.O.V: _ **

Just tonight, it was just supposed to be just a night and nothing more than a casual affair of the heart, neither one opposing the call of desire, it was hard to give up the thrill and heat of their dirty little secret.

There was a carnal aspect that made Jangjun give in and allow the older to do as he pleases, pleasure tingles down the younger man's spine, in frenzy touches and slow burning kisses that made him dizzy with want. A burning ache that no one could settle, unless that person is Choi Sungyoon, it was supposed to be nothing more than one night and he would never go back!

He gave his soul to the devil in disguise and there is no way back, it was no use, his heart and mind gave into the man's sugar coated lies, it gave him cavities and he didn't complain one bit, he wanted to be used by the handsome male, he didn't want out.

His friends hated him, his mother was swooned by the bunny like man's charms, his father detested the man, and everyone else in his life had an opinion on Sungyoon and a part of him wanted a taste of excitement. The older man could offer him just that, their meeting is mundane and not unorthodox, starbucks at the mall is where the two bumped into one another and Jangjun spilled his frappe on him and from then on they had been in contact.

Jangjun has always been too kind or a perfect child, he never dare to defy or go against the grain, Sungyoon made being bad feel right. He no longer wanted to be the teacher's pet or goody two shoes, he long for excitement and adventure! He wanted to be wanted and Sungyoon made him feel desired.

He knew what buttons to push and make the younger pant like a wolf in heat, how he make his toes curl in elation, and how to make him reach euphoria. Bliss came to him in the form of Choi Sungyoon, this was no longer about being free from the boring normality of his mundane existence, but about feeling something more. He wanted more from this life time and he was no longer satisfied with the now!

They melted into each others warmth and their bodies groove to the same rhythm of the pace that is set for them, both still chasing the clouds as Sungyoon kept hitting the bundle of nerves and Jangjun more than generous to comply as he clenched tighter.

The younger not shy to voice his pleasure begging the older for more, it was a mix of gentle hums and melodic moans, his appraisal making the older man excited to give than to take.

"Please let me." Jangjun is ready to fall apart at the seams.

Sungyoon pulled the younger into a searing and tender kiss as they forget about the world around them, it is the peace, the high of being defiant, Jangjun felt a wave of release fall over him causing him to feel weightless. He loves how the older holds him closer and just lays there with him in the afterglow of their passion, both not willing to ruin the moment with needless chatter.

"Are you mine?" Sungyoon breaking the silence.

"What do you mean?" Both still not willing to look at the other, pretending to take interest in the ceiling.

"Is this just a fling or are we something more?" The younger man didn't expect this from the older male.

They both never really spoke about their relationship, it was only bedroom talk, they both saw each other outside of Jangjun's or Sungyoon's apartment and hung out a few times, here and there, but they never made it a spectacle. When they started this act, it was out of a primal want, a need for control, a need for power, something more than meets the eye and neither one daring to speak of romance, not wanting to blur the lines.

Jangjun thought he would be the one to make it more than just sex. He didn't think the older would be the one to make it more than a carnal desire, Sungyoon was the one that said to not allow feelings to create an illusion of love than them just fucking. He didn't know what to say or make of this new revelation and so he just kept quiet.

Sungyoon wants to know if the younger is his for tomorrow or just the night? If they could grow their relationship into something more than just casual lust, his heart didn't want to be just another warm body for the younger, he wants to be the only one. He knew when he started this little game it is only fun and he intended it to only be just that, a game, something to keep him busy.

As time goes by and the younger still has not said anything, the silence only becoming louder and louder, almost deafening. Creating an eery mood, making the older regrets his words, this makes him more anxious as the silence continues.

"You don't have to answer... just forget I said anything. I am an idiot!" Sungyoon sits up and tugs at his brown locks at his own idiocracy.

Jangjun didn't know what to say or how to comfort the older, he feels at a loss, this was not apart of the plan, it was far from that! This was purely casual and he wasn't looking for anything more and he didn't want to hurt the older either, he quiet actually likes Sungyoon and would definitely date him, if he was ready to do so. He just didn't know what to do, this was unforeseen and he is just left speechless,he is like a fish out of water type situation, and he is suffocating with guilt.

"I--- hyung, it's just I am out of words. I did as you ask, no strings or emotions. I really like you a lot and I want to keep seeing you and be as is. I just don't know if I want to be serious, I like you and maybe we can try. I have not seen or slept with anyone else since this arrangement but I am willing to try." Jangjun didn't want to disregard Sungyoon's feelings but he couldn't lie to him either.

"You don't have to pretend for me and I know what I said, it is just as each time we spent, I tried to push away these stupid feelings but I couldn't! When you smiled my way or got excited over the smallest of things, it made me want to make you smile and feel happy cuz I am the reason." Sungyoon didn't want to be stringed along and he means every word to the younger, everything he has felt since their meeting after has been changed and now he wants more.

Jangjun felt his heart melt, he didn't know that the older male felt this way, he always assumed, cuz they are fuck buddies that Sungyoon was putting in effort of being nice so Jangjun would be inclined to be more susceptible to the older's call.

"How about a date and no sex after. We have a do over and see where it goes from there? I am willing to give it a go, not cuz of pity, it's cuz there is apart of me that really interested in where this will go? Let's call this a trial run, a month and then we will see where this goes." Jangjun did not have the heart to turn away and especially from someone that is good like the older male.

Risks are meant to be taken and not to be ignored, he shouldn't live with safety wheels on, the beauty of possibilities are out there as long as they are pursued. Even if they end with uncertainty, at least they put themselves out there and took a chance even if it was not what they expected. Relationships are a tricky concept and hard to navigate if they decide to pursue a possible love affair in korean society. Yet life is filled with many uncertainties and they must learn to navigate that aspect if they want to be happy, people will always have something to say, but the only opinion that matters is their own.

"I will have you falling for me in a week." Sungyoon is confident in his stance.

"I will be the judge of that." Jangjun chuckled at the older's changed behavior, it is cute.

Sungyoon presses a soft and fleeting kiss on the younger's rosy lips, making Jangjun do a retake, as his cheeks burn cherry red with embarrassment and causing him to be flustered. He liked the tender action and was not oppose to more kissing, the bunny like man's lips are his favorite even with the bitter taste of americano and cigarette ash.

He is warming up to this new arrangement, very much so.

**_ -The End _ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: The whole GOT7 and Gol-Cha thing was ridiculous but I gave into those damn trolls cuz I love our boys dearly. But it was also upsetting and tiresome. So I decided to update today.
> 
> I actually like GOT7 and write fanfic for them as well but I love Gol-Cha and just couldn't stand by and allow them to slander GNCD good name.
> 
> -AndreaXx


	18. Ahead Of Myself (Daeyeol/Bomin)

  
**_ Song: Ahead Of Myself- X Ambassadors  _ **   
  
_**Daeyeol:** _

  
_**Bomin:** _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
3rd Person's P.O.V: 

"I am sorry Bomin-ah." Daeyeol couldn't sit here in a nice restaurant and lie through his fake boyish grin, he hated the sound of his tone and how bittersweet it felt and how it tasted more like acid.

"What do you mean Daeyeol?" He looked a bit flustered by the change of mood.

They were laughing and having a good time, until the older's behavior snapped and cracked into a more darker and regretful theme. He wonders what has caused him to be so rigged and distant, it frightened him a bit if he was being honest.

"I thought, I am really sorry, I just-" His tongue kept stumbling over his thoughts and his mouth had a mind of its own, as he tried to stop but go all at the same time. Looking for a perfect explanation as to why he is no longer enjoying his time.

"It is fine, you can be honest." He didn't want the older to feel stressed or sorry.

"I thought I was ready, for someone else, ready to date someone else." His candour out in the open, his bleeding heart on the walnut wood table, he couldn't hide the truth that slowly suffocated him into a frenzy.

Bomin is understanding and not quick to judge the man for his honesty, as the older had yet to reveal to him about past relationships and ex-lover that stole his heart and never returned, it is hard to come down from such devastation.

"Who is the lucky lover?" Bomin wanted to hear his story, if Daeyeol wanted to share with him.

"His name was Sungyoon, he isn't dead, but he might as well be, to me at least." Bad break up and wounds that never healed.

Bomin leaned forward, as his date's attitude had taken a sharp and rocky turn and into a whole other lane, it was a bit surprising, as the older man has been soft spoken and quite the gentleman.

"What happened?" He didn't know what to say but wanting Daeyeol to elaborate more on the subject.

"Apparently, being together for five years and for two of those years being engaged, well he had a change of heart. He had called it off and broke up with me, he said that this was just all too much and he wasn't ready for that kind of commitment. That was a year ago and now he is getting engaged to kind of mutual friend, Lee Jangjun, they had know each other way longer, before I even came into the picture. I can't hate the guy, he is actually a lovable and generous guy." Daeyeol knocked back his glass of pinot noir.

Allowing the burn to simmer his raging soul, at the thought of his ex-lover, he had spent so many nights crying his heart out and wondering what had made his lover change? What had made their love fade, it had come to his attention five months after their disastrous break up of a shit show. Sungyoon had found a new home, someone that he had give his own heart too and wanted a forever with.

"They are actually getting married in two months and the shitting thing is, lo and behold, I received an invitation in my mail, a fucking week ago and I was far from estatitic for the lovely couple." He was not holding back his emotional baggage and Bomin admired him for it.

"I was so furious, how could he do that, sending that invite to me!" His gentle and warm features morphing into an acid glare, no one is safe.

"This guy is shameless, how could he do something so cruel to you?" Bomin did not like this guy one bit, to hurt his hyung in that way and without regards to the past they shared. What the hell is that? 

"I am sorry, I just thought, I was over him and then I got that stupid invite and all those repressed memories and feelings came rushing back like a title wave. I like you a lot Bomin and I want to keep dating, but I realized that I had tried to replace those feelings instead of dealing with them." His heart just couldn't leave the past but he knew he could not love a ghost anymore.

Daeyeol truly felt something for the younger but he could not string him along, even after a year! A year of trying to get back to the person he was before Sungyoon, it had all come undone in a single moment. He tried so desperately to remind himself that life is filling his lungs and the air is beating inside his chest and ready to be announced to the rest of his prescenes.

Bomin wanted only the best for him, he is willing to wait for the older man, these last three months had been nothing short of amazing and he would be more than willing to be whatever Daeyeol needs. His heart knew nothing but fondness and love for the older man and the way his eyes showed the universe in the tiniest of glimpses and he wanted to explore every inch and depth.

"Say no more hyung, I understand, you have no reason to explain yourself or your heart." He graced his hyung with a thousand watt smile.

"Thank you Bomin-ah, I really like you a lot but it would be selfish of me to lead you on." He tried to keep eye contact but his cheeks wouldn't stop flaming at the site of the younger who stared intensely at him.

"I would happily be lead on, only for you hyung." He rest his hand on top of the older man's clammy and shake palm.

"You will make someone happy Bominnie, that can't be me right now." He broke his own heart by uttering those sullen words but he had drowned himself in paperwork and bland coffee, he essentially turned on autopilot without any stops.

He will never know where he has truly been or seen until he has gotten back to reality, knowing the facts and statistics, his heart had to break before he can mend himself again, he can't keep waking up every morning pretending that the last five and a half years never happened. He couldn't ignore the empty side of his bed anymore, it had become daunting, the holes in his memories that he tried to dig deeper to forget every scar, it kept getting deeper and deeper until he no longer knew where he began or where he needs to be.

"Thank you for loving me on the days I forgot how too." Daeyeol tried to swallow the guilt.

"You are worth every sunrise and sunset Daeyeol hyung." Bomin is too good for him!

He doesn't deserve him and the sad thing is, he wants to be selfish and ask him to wait, it was on the tip of his tongue waiting to be uttered out without hesitation. "I will wait for you hyung."

"You shouldn't have too. I promise to be better but please don't wait for me, I am afraid I would break your heart." Daeyeol is uncertain about the future.

"Hyung, It would be an honor to have my heart be broken by you." Bomin wants to be there for everything, no matter how small or big it is, he would be there, he would stand by Daeyeol through all of it.

"I love you so much Daeyeol, there is only you in my heart." How could the older turn down such a powerful gestures.

"What am I gonna do with you Bomin-ah" The older takes a sip of his scarlet color wine.

Bomin's smile making Daeyeol feel giddy, this is unfair but life never is, one thing he is grateful for is finding Bomin. Maybe he should thank Sungyoon for breaking his heart, if not for that, the long run would have been more painful than this one.

**_ -The End _ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I hope everyone enjoyed the update! 
> 
> -AndreaXx


	19. ILYSB (Jibeom/Jaehyun)

_**Song:ILYSB(I Love You So Bad)-Lany (Superband cover)** _

_**Jaehyun:** _

_**Jibeom:** _

_**"I am** _

_**so in love** _

_**with you** _

_**it nearly** _

_**haunts me."** _

_**-Christopher Poindexter** _   
  
  
**_ 3rd Person's P.O.V: _ **

He would always love Jaehyun from afar, thought bittersweet, he could only smile as the same age boy runs across the field. The sun rays following him like stage lights, Jaehyun is the main lead in his mind, he couldn't look away as the black haired boy chases around his dog Bongji, the way he laughs carelessly, the way he smiles freely, and the way he calls Jibeom's name without a care in the world.

He wanted to see the other male smile, his heart only craves for Jaehyun's gentle touches, soft stares, and caressing voice. Jibeom has never felt such overwhelming tides of emotion, as the way he feels about the other boy, his heart did mini somersaults and his stomach caged fluttering wings of butterflies! He wanted to run to his best friend and confess his soul to Jaehyun and the world around them, it was daunting how much he could care for someone the way he does for the other male.

He saved this moment in his heart, the way he combusts in laughter at how Jaehyun sulks, he memorizes how the boy's bottom lips quivers into an arrow, how he calls out Jibeom's name like a melody, begging him to stop mercilessly teasing him. How Bongji ends up catching the sweet sinless male instead, the way Jaehyun strokes his hand over the curly white fur in tiny motions, whispering how good Bongji is, Jibeom captured every moment.

How his heart felt in that moment, how he felt like he was floating, how he could only see the other male, how he could only stare at his chapped and plum lips, how he yearns to go the distance, push the folds further, make the jump and end the mind games. He hoped and longed for Jaehyun to see his heart and he never did, it made Jibeom wonder why he has kept pursuing the older? Why his heart still pounded at the call of Jaehyun, why his eyes wandered in the crowd of many to only be searching for earthy hues that brings him home.

How could he leave?

He wants to go to Jaehyun, yet, the other feels like miles away from him, only seeming to keep growing further and further away from him. He couldn't take it, the pain and suffering, how he can't let go of the one thing that brings him happiness but despair. He is a masochist, he is willing to get hurt and would keep taking more of the pain, if it meant he would have Jaehyun by his side, at some point, it no longer felt like pins and needles, his heart hurts so good.

He loves Jaehyun so bad, it made him blind to Jaehyun's own longing stares, made him unaware of how Jaehyun only gave him toothy grins, heart eye smiles, he would only agree to the other's absurd whims, his heart beat for the one and only Kim Jibeom. He is at the mercy of the other boy and he long to be more than a best friend.

He loves Jibeom so much, he loves him so bad, it felt so good, loving Jibeom is the only thing he felt good about. He was ready to be whatever the other wanted, he would be whatever he needs, no matter what, Bong Jaehyun would be it.

"Yah Kim Jibeom!" Jaehyun calls out breaking Jibeom's self confrontation.

"What!" He still hasn't moved from the little hill that they sat and ate.

"Come and help me, you brat!" Jaehyun just wanted him near, Bongji has stopped fussing.

"Not with that attitude Bong!" Jibeom scoffs while holding his heart.

"You are such a drama queen Kim." He chuckles at the way Jibeom pretends to be hurt.

"I take offence Bong, you hurt my feelings and expect me to help?" Jibeom goes too him regardless.

"Yes, its cuz you love me." Jaehyun tries to ignore his own heart break.

"You should be grateful I love you Bong Jaehyun." Jibeom standing in front of the pair, wishing to speak his true intention.

Both just staring at the other, not wanting to break the electrifying eye contact, both sharing the same space and time, neither one willing to back down or speak, neither one willing to confess their deepest desires.

Love happens when you least expect it too, it knocks twice, not waiting around forever till someone answers but enough to feel like forever. The love they share for one another is evergreen and ready to bloom, like the first flower in spring after the long winter days, it is ready and ripe, wanting to taste a bit of the sun.

He wanted to feel that same mystic energy, wanting to connect his soul to the other's graceful heart, his eyes spoke no lies, his lips wanting to taste the richness and glory, to be alone with Jaehyun is enough for him. Yet his soul ached and burn for something more, something intimate and wholesome. He would set himself on fire if it made the other smile, it would be an honor to have his heart, to love him, to be the one that Jaehyun goes too, to be his person.

A little bit closer and they would be close enough to touch, to feel each others breathe, to feel their lips connect and watch universes be born, galaxies ignite, planets appear, stars giving light, and that would satisfy their beings.

"Bongji comeback!" The trance ending as fast it begins.

"Yah, don't run off!" Jibeom and Jaehyun running after the dog.

They would always love each other from afar, not knowing their true hearts, yet they would keep it that way, if it meant being with one another the way they are now. They wouldn't look back, they would smile and play pretend. They could only smile as the same age boys runs across the field. As the dying sun sets, Jibeom and Jaehyun playing a parts as best as they can, they couldn't look at each other, they wouldn't dare too. They continue too chases around Bongji, the way they laugh carelessly, the way they both try to act as though their hearts aren't bleeding, and the way Jaehyun calls Jibeom's name, it makes him soulful.

They would always be chasing each other without knowing what has always been right in front of one another, a heart that is ready to be loved, and the world looks upon them with a despondent smile.

**_ -The End _ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I love BongBeom so much! I can't! 😭❤
> 
> Hope you all enjoyed the update!
> 
> -AndreaXx


	20. Strange Love (Sungyoon/Jangjun)

**_ Song: Strange Love- Simple Creatures _ **

**_ A/N: Photos are for how they look in the story, not exactly dressed. But how they look exactly. _ **

**_ Sungyoon: _ **

  
  
**_ Jangjun: _ **

  
  
  
**_ 3rd Person's P.O.V: _ **

Their hands wander each others bodies in the middle of the night, it is the good vibrations and twenty dollar cheap bottle of hard liquor that makes them dizzy with laughter and silly trust of what is to come next.

They are staring at each other with lust haze eyes and they both want this to happen, it is the deepest darkest primal desire in their hearts that have become known. They share this moment and they don't waste a second as they are stumbling to the older man's bedroom, it is difficult task as they are pulling articles of clothes off each other.

This night is one to remember.

"I love you." Jangjun moans and Sungyoon leaves searing kisses down his neck.

"I love you too." he pants in desire, the older loves having the man beg and needy for him, it makes him go insane.

The fire between them burns their souls and leaves them only wanting more. They fill the whole house with grunts, groan, and vigorous moans of pleasure and passion. The spark ignites between them and they aren't ready to let it burn out, it is the love in their hearts for one another.

He brings the younger male to cloud nine with every pulse, it is the way he makes him lose control and give into the thirst of the moment, it is the way he hold him with such delicate touches... his heart feels like it will explode. Sungyoon makes him feel loved.

This is not an act of lust but of love.

They are making love, it is a bond that they are creating from years of false unrequited love and times wasted on other people, it is this act that they finally give into their true unfiltered emotions. They wish this happened sooner.

"We are so stupid!" they lay in messy sheets and tousled hair.

"Well I was never subtle, you are just dense!" Jangjun is shameless.

Sungyoon pulls his lover into his embrace. "Well, you give your affections away to others, How am I supposed to know!" he kisses the crown of his head.

"Guilty is charged! But I never looked at them the way I did to you. When you came into the room, it felt like time has stopped or that there is no air, it was only you, I kept searching for you." he is acting coy.

"I wish we had just talked earlier or if I had just told you that night at the lake after graduation from grade school, we could have been together, things would have been different." he admits solemnly.

"Let's not ponder on the past and only move forward from now on." the younger turns around to look at the man that holds his universe.

The bunny like male leans down to kiss the man that has held his heart since he was fourteen, they are both now in their twenties and they don't plan on wasting another second apart. They have a lot to make up for and this night will be the start of it.

They had so many opportunities, but loves happens at the strangest of moments, it has no right timing, or right person, no ideal situation, love is an odd mistress and has no boundaries. The heart either ignores or picks up long enough to know that someone is ready to speak out and lay their own heart on the line, love will never be what one wants it to be and that is okay, it is a crazy, stupid, little thing called love.

**_-The End_ **


	21. A Part Of Me(Bomin/Daeyeol)

**_ Song: A Part Of Me- Neck Deep _ **

**_ Daeyeol: _ **

  
**_ Bomin: _ **

  
  
**_ 3rd Person's P.O.V: _ **

He put on a strong front, for the both of them, he had to do it and his heart knew this all along but he still took the road. He knew this was not a relationship he should pursue or think of it. They would never ever end up together but he would still do anything for Lee Daeyeol.

"Will you let me walk you home?" He did not want the man to go alone, it is dark out already.

"Bomin, whenever it is just us, you always do and we live together." He chuckles at the maknae's words.

"I just want to make sure you don't have plans or have somebody else, that wants to spend time with you." He tries to hide his tomato red face by looking at the ground of the practice room.

"I spend the majority of my time with you and I like it." The older man is brave.

Daeyeol felt feelings that are more than friendly feelings for his member but he would never do anything about it. He couldn't, it would cost them their dreams that they work for, he couldn't ruin the younger's dreams, his members dreams or his own and no matter how much he wants to take that leap, it would be irrational.

"Hyung, I love you." The wide eye male says that a lot, Yet the older would just brush it off as nothing more than being kind and loving.

But he knew the other man's feelings but he couldn't afford to jeopardize anything.

"I love you too Bomin-ah!" He smiles warmly to the man, no longer a boy.

They are alone in the practice room of Woolim and they stayed late to work more on their choreography for Without You and they both are covered in sweet and exhaustion but the younger refuses to let his hyung go gently into the good night.

"I love you!" He said again but the older man did not react.

"Stop Bomin..." He does not know how to reply to the other's words.

"I am not some kid anymore and I refuse to be past over, I know you think you are saving us both but... I don't care! You can't always try to fix things or make things perfect hyung!" He had enough of his hyung looking over him.

"Leave it alone!" The older man did not want to deal with this right now.

"Why!" He did not understand how his gentle and understanding hyung could be so cold and cruel with his feelings and confession.

"Stop it... Bomin, you know as well as I do." He did, yet threw caution to the wind.

"You know my feelings and heart, yet, you push it aside and think nothing more and I know your heart!" The younger man still rooted to the spot of the middle of the room and the older not daring to meet his eyes in the mirrors of the room.

"I do! It kills me that we can't be anything more than what we are now, but if I can still have you this way. If it means still being with each other, I am fine with just this and I love you. Never forget that Bomin-ah, you will always have a part of me!" The brunette male still looking away.

"You can turn a blind eye but I can't! You are so close but so far away and I ache and burn with a desire and passion. I don't care about the money or fame, it was never about that and I can live without it... but hyung. I can't let you go and watch you with someone else." He tries to hold back his tongue from implicating him more.

His feelings are made known, it has always been known where his affections and heart melt any cold heart, it is cheesy but he didn't care, life is too short to be anything but happy.

"Please Bomin-ah, don't say words that you can never take back. I can pretend that you didn't say anything... please!" He choked out these razor blade words with difficulty but it is for the best.

The black haired male did not want to fight, it would ruin the mood even more than he already has.

"I love you and I am sorry, let's forget it. Let's go home." He tries to smile but his eyes tell a different story all together.

They leave as though nothing happened but their hearts felt the weight of their scene but they refuse to acknowledge it. They would never do anything but pretend.

In the end, this is the fate they would be subjected to and they had to make peace with the reality of the truth. They couldn't be together, maybe in a different life they could have a chance, to pursue the love their are denied in this lifetime. They hope that in the next or some alternate universe they would never have to suffer that pain of parting and to never be, it brought sorrow to the two hopeless souls as they fade into the silent night.

Maybe someday they would have a chance?

**_ -The End _ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I hope you all enjoy the double updates! I love writing Gol-Cha fanfics, I hope over time I can improve and do better for amazing readers and myself as well. Again thank you all and hope you enjoy!
> 
> -AndreaXx


	22. Baby Don't Like It (Sungyoon/Jangjun) (Sungyoon/Daeyeol) (Jangjun/Tag)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I am back and no set schedules of update but I promise to finish this!

_ **Song: Baby Don't Like It- NCT 127** _

_ **Jangjun:** _

**_ Sungyoon: _ **

**_ Youngtaek: _ **

**_ Daeyeol: _ **

  
  
**_ 3rd Person's P.O.V: _ **

Jangjun felt upset at seeing Daeyeol and he knew that if he said anything insulting,Sungyoon would take his best friend's side. So he held his tongue and tried to smile and act friendly for the sake of his lover and he really loves the older man cuz his self restraint went through the ceiling.

"You are an idiot hyung!" Sungyoon laughed at the story the older man was telling him.

"So funny." Sungyoon was about to cry while laughing.

"So funny." Jangjun said sarcastically, he really did try to hold back his anger.

Daeyeol came to visit the couple, more like his lover Sungyoon, at the Jangyoon couple shared apartment and wanted to visit and without talking to Jangjun, his lover had allowed Daeyeol to come over even with knowing how his boyfriends feels about his best friend.

All Sungyoon just wants is for his boyfriend to get along with Daeyeol hyung, cuz his best friend likes his boyfriend which is great but he wants Jangjun to also like his hyung, because he loves both of them. Well Jangjun a little bit more but he didn't want to show favoritism.

"I am going to the restroom." The older male got up and went to the restroom, leaving the lovers alone for awhile.

"Oh hyung, you are so funny." Jangjun mimicked his lover's earlier actions.

"I don't even sound like that." He bites back.

"I don't even sound like that." Jangjun snides.

"Don't be a child Jangjun-ah." Sungyoon reprimands his boyfriend for his behavior.

"You know I don't like him!" He is frustrated at Sungyoon's thoughtless decisions.

"And I told you I am sorry!"Sungyoon aggressively whispers, not wanting Daeyeol to find out that they are arguing.

"I don't remember that!" The younger man is far from okay.

"I will make up for it later." Sungyoon knew he would get nowhere with arguing, he just wanted Jangjun not to be mad at him anymore.

"Will you now?" He teases his older boyfriend.

"How will you do that?" Sungyoon's ears light up cherry red with wild and kinky thoughts in his head.

"Get a room you two!" Daeyeol comes back and the younger man is upset again.

"I am going out!" Jangjun could not stand being there for one moment longer, deciding he would go to his friend's house to vent there, instead of being next to his boyfriend and watch Sungyoon hyung swoon over his best friend.

**_***_ **

"Why did you come here Jangjun hyung?" He went to Youngtaek's house.

"I am just frustrated with Sungyoon hyung and how he can never says no to his best friend and always being a certain way with him! It is pissing me off and I just hate that he is Sungyoon's ex!" Jangjun screams.

"It's okay love and you should not be screaming." the younger smile's at the older. He places his hand on his shoulder and lightly rubs it, causing Jangjun to calm down and think straight.

"I am sorry Tag-ah, it's just a tense situation." Jangjun and Youngtaek were once a couple, a few blue moons ago, but the thing is, Jangjun has enough respect and sense too put Sungyoon's feelings ahead of his own love and relationship with Youngtaek.

Sungyoon hated the odd younger male from the very moment they met, Sungyoon hated everything about Yountaek and the fact his lover and the younger have history together and especially the way, they act like lovers still. It made Sungyoon uncomfortable and upset, even furious at the thought of the two together. Jangjun for many reasons did not understand why his boyfriend could not keep Daeyeol at arms length.

"I just hate the fact he is doing this. Does he not value our relationship?" He is sorely confused at the older man's actions.

"I told you Junnie hyung that this hyung is not good." He lays back on the couch.

"Youngtaek, don't speak that way of him. I love him even if he can't let Daeyeol go, it is him. Sungyoon hyung's and I's relationship is nothing like ours use to be." He brought up old wounds that still hurt him.

"The one thing we did decided on is to no longer be in a relationship, it was a mutual break up. We no longer loved each other and ..." the younger cut Jangjun off.

"Sure, what bull shit excuse are you giving me and yourself?" Youngtaek laughed.

"All I am saying is, I don't run to you for every little thing, invite you over cuz I want too, text you all the time, or do things that Sungyoon does with his stupid Yeol!" Jangjun combust in a fit of rage.

"Calm down hyung." The younger sits up and put his hands on the other male's shoulders and started to massage his shoulders to get him to not freak on him again.

"I am trying, I really am, I just can't take it and on top of that, we hardly see each other or even talk, cuz I care about Sungyoon's feelings more than my own and I pushed you aside cuz I love him!" Jangjun whines.

" I understand, but don't get so angry and just relax." Youngtaek still carrying on with the soothing motion, he always knew how to keep the older from spiraling.

"Thank you Youngtaek-ah." He turns around pulling the other male into a hug

"You are welcome." He pat Jangjun on the back and pulls apart.

"Would you like sensible Tag advice or unsensible advice?" Jangjun took the first option.

"So, unreasonable you say!" The younger male smiles brightly.

"You heard me!" The older breaking out into laughter.

"I did and I heard unreasonable, how odd?" He breaks out into a cheshire grin and Jangjun hit him on the shoulder.

"Even if I keep detesting you will get your way." Jangjun and Youngtaek were in perfect balance once more.

"Exactly hyung and this is my revenge for the stupid jerk stealing and hurting my hyung's precious heart." The younger man jokes.

"What do you have in mind?" He could not believe he was doing this.

**_***_ **

"Sungyoon will kill me if he sees this on my instagram!" It is them at a photo booth and they are acting cute and touchy but appropriate, he might be upset, but he loves Sungyoon too much and would never jeopardize their relationship. All he wants is revenge and he knew that this is stupid and won't solve shit but he wants the older man too feel what he feels, when Daeyeol is around.

"Do it Lee!" The beautiful male pulled his hyung into a selca and posted it on Jangjun's insta, making sure to tag himself, knowing very well that Sungyoon could also see this.

"Let's go and eat now!" The slightly taller male pulls Jangjun by the arm and off to wherever he has planned.

"Ugh! You are so insufferable!" The older jokes causing Youngtaek to pout.

**_***_ **

They ended up at one of Sungyoon's favorite food places and one he frequents with the younger man. It is a good place to eat at and just take his mind off of today's event, trying to think more rational and be an "adult" if he even is one. With the way he acted so far and getting upset on his lover.

"I swear Tag." The younger ordered a lot of soju.

"What is wrong?" He asked innocently.

"Seriously!" Jangjun laughed.

He could not believe this guy, it was amazing, he is trying to get Jangjun and him drunk! He sometimes did not understand Youngtaek's reasoning for things and his behavior, right now is that moment.

"I seriously don't know what you are going on about." he could not believe his friend for one moment.

"I need new friends." The blue hair male laughs while pouring both of them a cup.

"I am hurt? Who is better and more good looking than me, tell me! You would be downgrading." The older admired how self assured and confident Youngtaek is. Cocky yes, but the androgynous male knew what he wants and knows what he is.

"Oh forgive me." He jokingly bows a full 90 degrees.

"Ah, I like it when you beg Junnie hyung." Jangjun pushed him and they both burst out in gleeful laughter.

They talk more as they wait for their food and the lively atmosphere and the laughter and cheers of people around them make them even more hyper, it was like old times again for both males and they were grateful for the time they spent with each other.

"I missed you, you seriously have no idea." The younger spoke happily.

"I did too." Jangjun smiles, forgetting how much he truly enjoyed Tag's company.

"I remember why I was in love with you." Youngtaek said confidently.

"Oh, pray tell!" Jangjun never understood why anyone like the younger, would spend their time with someone like him, it always puzzled him.

"You are you, it was the fact your smile is brighter than the sun and your laughter held a child like innocence also your kindness. You as a person spoke volumes but you never could see the many qualities you possess that makes everyone swoon. You are also humble and so much more." The younger reminisced in old lovers lane.

"You flatter me too much." Jangjun felt thankful and grateful.

"No hyung! I am being honest, there will never be anyone like you Lee Jangjun, you are truly one of a kind." The auburn haired male's heart sank.

"Than why did you break up with me?" He lied when he said it was mutual.

"I would never be who you thought I was. Hyung, you never saw bad in anyone and the fact you could love someone as crazy as me, it was not fair to you cuz I could never be satisfied. I was a fool and you were out of my league." Things just got too real for Jangjun, all to real.

"If I am such a great person, why does Sungyoon never look at me the way he looks at Daeyeol?" He felt a spike of jealousy pinch at his heart strings.

"I don't know your relationship dynamics, but he is a fool for wanting more, when he has the best of the best in front of him." Youngtaek felt his heart break for his loveable hyung.

**_***_ **

**_Back at the apartment:_ **

"I thought you had no problem with Youngtaek-ssi?" Daeyeol asked the fuming male.

"I don't!" Sungyoon sat on the black leather couch.

"You could have fooled me." he said sarcastically.

"I don't hyung, Jangjun has every right to hang out with whoever he wants." he has never liked the taller and odd man but he never voiced that opinion to his loving boyfriend.

He did not have a right to get mad at said boyfriend, for not wanting to end a friendship with Youngtaek. They both matched each other really well and they have perfect harmony and it made him unreasonably jealous.

He would never admit too such things for the sake of Jangjun, he tried to hide his hate and contempt for the younger male, it was really hard at first and he did not want Jangjun to think he was childish or annoying.

"I just think they are too close for friendship." he looked at Jangjun's sns account that his boyfriend used basically once every year.

"They look so cute." Daeyeol teased knowing how upset his best friend is.

"Look at the way they are pressing cheek to cheek, it is sooo romantic!" Sungyoon was going to murder his best friend with his own phone.

"It is gross!" He despised the post that was made an hour ago.

"Cheer up Sungyoonnie. At least they are not having a romantic dinner." Daeyeol jokes.

There was a bing coming from the jealous lover's phone notifying him of something.

God is testing is testing him, really testing him and he did not appreciated it, he glared at his phone and shut it off aggressively.

"What the fuck man!" He look at the annoyed look on Sungyoon's faces making him scowl.

"Don't frown or you will get wrinkles." his hyung tried to lighten the mood.

"Look at his post." He huffed.

The brunette backed out of the post and refreshed Jangjun's sns page to see that he post an update of himself and Youngtaek at one of Sungyoon's favorite restaurant. He was upset but he refused to mind their hang out and wanting to be mature, it sucks this feeling in his chest and he doesn't want to be that guy, even though he is, sometimes, no one can prove anything!

"Stop it!" He hissed at his best friend.

"Okay, fine." Daeyeol secede and puts away his phone.

"Let's enjoy our time as you leave for London soon and I will never see you again asshole!" Sungyoon spent a lot of time with his best friend lately cuz he is going to miss him but he is excited for him.

"Okay, but you know that what you feel now is what he feels whenever I am around right?" Daeyeol pointed out the obvious.

"Leave it alone!" He refuse to acknowledge how right his best friend is.

"You know I am always right." Sungyoon pleads the 5th.

"Shut up!" The older male laughed.

**_***_ **

"I better head home before Sungyoon hyung starts getting worried about me." Jangjun was not as drunk as his friend is.

"When did you get married?" The younger jokes.

"I don't even know." Jangjun called for waiter to bring their tab and is willing to pay for it all.

"I am going to head out. Let's do this again Tag, I really missed you." He put down the money for the whole meal and left.

"I missed you too hyung." Youngtaek would never stop loving Jangjun even after ending things.

**_***_ **

He walked back too his and his lover's apartment in complete and peaceful silence, allowing the cold air to sober himself up and too apologize too his boyfriend for his behavior to Daeyeol and his disappearing act.

He should have been the bigger person and been honest with the older and talked, but instead he left and went to his ex-lover's and he did not regret it. He was happy to see his friend and hang out like old days.

He thought that old feelings would arise or he would feel sadness but instead he was content and happy, it was not awkward or burdensome, it was seriously nice and really good day and he hopes to do this again and maybe invite Sungyoon, if that is, he would want to come.

He got back home before it was Ten p.m. and the night is still young and all he wants to do is cuddle and watch a movie with his boyfriend or just do something domestic.

He puts in the code to open the door and saw his lover alone and reading a book. He loved how concentrated his lover looked, it was cute and the way his nose crinkled and his eyes wide, it made Jangjun feel giddy and happy.

He loves coming home to his lover and just being with him. Everything is different and less complicated with Sungyoon and he is happy to know that his boyfriend felt the same way, even if the older male is closed off, and many times cold and cruel but he always made sure to show his love and affections to Jangjun in the way he can.

Like nagging, pestering, fussing over him, and a lot of other things and Jangjun could not be more thankful than in these moments, it should have never been an issue with Sungyoon's best friend. Cuz he knew his boyfriend loves him only but his head and heart sometimes can't help but feel vulnerable and weak too such things.

"Jangjun-ah." The older smiled at his lovely boyfriend.

"Hello my love." Jangjun moves to the couch and kisses him on the lips.

"For a moment I thought you would never come back." Sungyoon jokes.

"You would love it." The younger retorts.

"Never, I would come after you and beat you and drag you back to our home." Sungyoon's attitude change.

"I am calling the police for abuse!" he jokes back .

"Such a baby." The dark haired male laughs.

"I love you." He smiled fondly and with much affection in his eyes and the elder could feel the warmth and love.

"I love you too." He pulled the younger male onto the couch.

"I know, I should have asked about Daeyeol and I am sorry for that." Sungyoon knew he, himself, was in the wrong and he feels guilty for not seeing it earlier.

"It is fine." Jangjun lets it go.

"No, it is not and I should have been considerate of your feelings and how you felt about Daeyeol." Sungyoon felt guilt wash over him.

"I know how much you love him but I know you love me more." The elder acknowledge the fact that he does and that will never change.

"He is moving to Europe. That is why I have been clingy lately and giving into Daeyeol." He should have been honest but whenever he brought up his best friend, it always resulted in an argument or a shouting match.

"I should have listen to you instead of blowing up on you and accusing you of being in love with him." Jangjun felt the guilt eat away at him.

"I am sorry for doing that." Sungyoon pulls his lover into his lap.

"All is forgiven and we both are idiots." He snuggles into Sungyoon's strong arms.

They both look at each other and they just feel love, it feels right, they both feel like home to each other and that is truly bliss. They wanted nobody else but one another, it was out of the question, all traces of doubt gone.

"Now, what was this date with that stupid brat?" Sungyoon teased.

"I was upset and I wanted you too feel how I felt." The younger wanted to be honest and transparent.

"I know, I know it was childish and given the way you feel about him, it was reckless but I don't regret it." He is really happy to spend some time with his oldest friend.

"I like Youngtaek-ssi." He tried to hide the dislike that burned in his eyes.

"Whatever hyung!" Jangjun laughs.

"I do!" He tried to suppress the whine that broke through.

"It is fine." He is happy that his lover tried to say he does.

"Do you still love him?" Sungyoon hated the doubt in his heart but he had to ask.

"Yes..." Sungyoon went rigid and the younger felt his lover tighten his grip a bit.

"Not in the way you think! I still love him but as a best friend, it has been 5 yrs since him and I broke up and we have been together for a better part of almost 2yrs and since I met you, all I have ever thought about is you and I building a life together." Jangjun is a sap and Sungyoon loves that about his boyfriend.

"You are such a romantic Jangjun-ah." He kissed the younger man's cheek.

"I missed him tbh and I know you don't want to hear this but he is only a friend. I am not in love with him or ever want to get back with him but will you be fine if Tag is around a bit more?" Sungyoon did not control Jangjun's life and he felt sorry if he forced out his lover's best friend from his life.

"You never have too ask me and as much as I don't like him. I trust you and I don't want you to feel like your obligated to do anything, even remove him from your life for my convenience." It took a lot for Sungyoon to admit it but he did not want to hurt Jangjun ever.

"Thank you Hyung." He is happy that the older man is willing to compromise.

"Please at least don't get all touchy with him!" He was going to kill Jangjun for those photos.

"His idea, not mine!" He threw his best friend under the bus.

"Sure Jangjun!" Sungyoon huffed.

"I am sorry if I made you feel out of place or jealous about Daeyeol... today put a lot of perspective and I am a shitty boyfriend to you." He felt sorry too his caring boyfriend.

"You are my shitty boyfriend." Sungyoon hit Jangjun's shoulder.

"Thanks asshole." He laughs.

"I love you too." He pulled the older man in for a deep and long kiss.

They would never, in a million years, never trade these moments in for anything else. 

**_ -The End _ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I was not expecting this outcome of this story or the way it was going but I like it. Regardless, I hope you all enjoyed this wonderful short read. Again, thank you all for the support and love!❤❤❤
> 
> Again I take request for one shots and mainly accept them. 
> 
> Thank you my lovely readers I hope you are healthy and happy. Keep it weird everyone, love you all.
> 
> -AndreaXx


	23. Forever Yours (Jibeom/Jaehyun)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Double update!

**_ Song: Forever Yours- Key ft. Soyou _ **

**_ Jibeom: (He is actually wannabe red hair era... this photo also makes me soft.) _ **

_**Jaehyun: (He is blonde in this fanfic... but this photo makes me soft.)** _

  
**_ 3rd Persons P.O.V: _ **

It was winter when the snow fall and cups of hot chocolate gave warmth through the cold breeze and two lovers walk hand-in- hand as they spend the night of ice skating and snow angles. Jibeom slipped a letter into Jaehyun's coat pocket, he loves to write letters to his lover, it has become their thing.

"I am lucky to be in love with my best friend." Jaehyun speaks with honesty and gratitude.

"You are a romantic." Jibeom pulled his plaid wool scarf closer to his face to encase the heat.

"I am only like this because of you Jibeomie." Jibeom pulls off his gloves and put them on the blonde boy's clammy hands.

"aish... seriously Jaehyun. Your hands are freezing and your coat pockets are not suitable." He scolds his boyfriend for coming unprepared.

"I told you I am fine." He blushes crimson red.

"We are almost to my house anyways." Jaehyun countered before Jibeom could say anything more.

"I only want you to be warm and healthy." The red hair man making his lover laugh.

He kisses the same age male "I know Jibeom-ah." Seoul night is beautiful when you are in love.

The walk the rest of the way in jolly laughter and sipping on their drinks trying to fight the cold nipping at their nose. They stop in front of an apartment complex and this is Jaehyun's stop for the night and the lovers don't want to part.

"Call me when you get home safely." Jibeom kisses him one last time but Jaehyun pulls him back into a passionate kiss making the wide-eyed male dizzy and a smiling fool.

"I love you!" Jaehyun pulls apart from his lover and Jibeom's ears are visibly red but the other does not point it out.

"I love you more." His heart pounds like a beating of a war drum, it is Jaehyun's doing and only manage to make him smile more.

They part ways and Jibeom makes the track down to his apartment only 7 blocks away from Jaehyun's apartment.

***

Jaehyun had not realized about the note until he pats down his coat for his house keys and he stares at the white envelope with his name written beautifully and he knew it was from his boyfriend.

He waits to open the letter until he gets into his house. He opens the door of his home and the room is dark and empty, how he wish his lover is here with him, yet he is too afraid to ask the male to move in with him.

They have been dating for 3 yrs but he felt like it was not the right move, yet!

He throws aside his keys that land on the table with a dull thud and removes his coat, even with layers of clothes on, it still did not rival the bone chilling cold... climate change.

He puts it up on the coat rack and takes off his shoes before stepping on the freshly clean carpet and he rolls up his long sleeves of his sweater and starts a kettle to make another warm cup of hot chocolate, as he is a frugal guy and did not want to always turn on the heater.

After that he sits on the couch wrapping a blanket around his body, turning on the tv as background noise and opens the letter.

**Dear Jaehyun:**

**I dreamed of you and what it would be like to hold your hand...**

**I wondered, if I would feel butterflies, fireworks, nausea? I didn't know how this feeling works... there was no manual script or YouTube tutorial: how not to screw up in front of your crush.**

**I was scared out of my mind the first time these feelings appeared and I felt like I was going to jump out of my own skin at any given moment.**

**I kept repeating every word trying to make a comprehensible sentence of my undying love, trying hopelessly not to sound like a creep or a weirdo. I kept looking in the mirror hoping it would answer me back, telling me "who is the loser of all?" when really, I was staring at my own reflection. I didn't need a talking mirror for that!**

**I knew, I never had a chance, hell! I knew I would fall short of an inch of being halfway there yet. Not even leaving the starting line, but I was willing to start somewhere.**

**I wanted to be worthy of you.**

**I just didn't know how to approach you without falling at your feet and retreating with what is left of my pride. If any?**

**I just couldn't do it!**

**How could I?**

**I am not good at sports, didn't have the looks, couldn't solve English correctly, stuttering mess, a walking disaster, and I was 2 points shy of average.**

**I couldn't even manage mediocre!**

**I am a hot mess, literally, leave out the looks, I just stink of desperation and trying to get my last 5 brain cells to agree on a conclusion.**

**One thing they could agree on, the fact pineapple doesn't belong on pizza! The great debate still lives on...**

**See!**

**I couldn't even manage an intellectual thought!**

**I am a fool!**

**A nobody!**

**I am going to end up working for fast food, living in Florida, becoming an alcoholic, with no suitable standards, and one day coming to a passive aggressive conclusion to jump off the nearest highway!** **_(A/N: Sorry to anyone that lives in Florida.)_ **

**See... I don't even have suitable standards... even now... the cycle of disappointment starts.**

**This just shows how much time I have spent on thinking about this.**

**I wanted to dig a hole or a deep ditch and die there! I felt empty but your shy smiles and helpful words always brought the best out of me.**

**I just didn't know how to do it myself. Your kind heart is what made you beautiful and I just couldn't stop staring.**

**My heart screamed for you to jump start it again and again. I knew in those moments of stolen time all I ever wanted was you to accept my imperfect heart.**

**You would always be out of my league and every outlandish thoughts and discouraging words of fellow peers, I believed. But you are the one!**

**In a million years, I never thought you would choose me, even in the next. I don't want to wake up if this is a dream, but you are more than just a dream**.

**I am just a loser in love with you and somehow your perfect heart accepted every inch of me.**

**My world lite up!**

**I no longer had to dream.**

**-Sincerely forever yours**

**P.S: This was written the second you accepted my confession in college. I was an excited mess and my feelings were about to explode. Move in with me Jaehyun! Or I move in with you?**

**P.S.S: I was too afraid to ask you in person but please consider it and it is fine if this is too fast but I can't stand the empty side of my bed.**

He put down the letter and his heart soared.

He message his boyfriend a simple:

_ To Love: _

_ From Jaehyun: _

_ I am home and I accept the offer. _

He smiled proudly once sending the text with content.

**_ -The End _ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Ahh... cute isn't it? I hope you all enjoyed this wonderful short read. Again, thank you all for the support and love!❤❤❤
> 
> This is pure love and fluff and I hope you all enjoyed it.
> 
> Thank you my lovely readers I hope you are healthy and happy. Keep it weird everyone, love you all.
> 
> -AndreaXx


	24. Sixteen (OT10)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: TRIGGER WARNINGS AND TALKS ABOUT SUICIDE!

**_ Song: Sixteen-Real Friends _ **   
  


**_ OT10: (I am not gonna put an individual photo for all ten lol... so group photo instead!) _ **

  
  
**This one isn't about any pairings just about Bomin and the rest. Also this is just platonic.**

**3rd Person's P.O.V:**

"Leave me alone!" The maknae combust into anger.

"Bomin what is wrong?" Daeyeol hyung sniffles.

"Nothing to concern yourself with hyung" The youngest turns his back on the group of boys that were just as confused as to why their maknae was upset.

"Bomin-ah let us in." Sungyoon's words soft and assuring.

"Don't waste your breath hyung." he detaches from himself.

"We only want to help you." Joochan sounded hurt.

"Well you are setting yourselves up for disappointment!" He scoffs at his friends attempt to get him to come out of his room.

He tries not to fall apart in front of them, trying to seem strong instead of weak and small. Bomin turn around with his head held high " Please Bomin-ah!" Jangjun hyung sounds like he is about to burst into tears.

"Leave me alone and go on with your lives!" He has thought about this conclusion many times and it all resulted with the same ending.

"Pretend I was never here, it will lessen the pain." He tried to smile but all he wants to do is crawl into his hyungs arms and let them protect him from them.

They never leave him alone, their whispers have become sickly sweet melodies of pain.

"Bomin, we love you, please come out." the voices in his head tell a different story.

 ** _T_** **hey don't mean it, we are all you need.** Its words sending him into a frenzy.

"Don't say something you don't mean!" He feels used by them, in some way, he has made up his mind, that they never cared about him, it cuz they all are roommates they are forced to care.

He thought that he will only drag them down, what is his purpose? "Bomin how could you think that!" Daeyeol tries to understand why the younger man would say that. 

"Stop!" He tries to remind himself that he is useless and nothing that they could say would change that thought.

He felt like he is not needed anymore, he does nothing more as he cracks open his bedroom window and climbs out. Thank god they lived on the first floor.

He could hear them try to open the door but it is no use, he would be gone by the time they try to open it.

"Bomin-ah please talk to us!" Donghyun shouts.

He truly felt sorry towards his brothers, they might all come from different families and backgrounds. But they are his family, he just couldn't stay there, he has one leg out the window and he tries to get the other one out.

He can hear them bang on his door and scream for him, it broke his own heart, he breaks out into a sprint, not wanting them to follow him, he can't be there. He is only a reminded of how useless and nuisance he is. As he gets farther from the complex and further, he starts walking to the river, trying to forget about his actions that he is about to commit.

It is the only way to be free, to feel no more pain and to let his beloved hyung's be happy. He can't be the reason why they suffer, He knows his presences is unwanted. He can't hurt anyone else, he is truly nothing, he hates himself and this must end now!

Bomin just hopes they will forgive him once this is all over, this is all he knows, how he could make them proud. He can finally be useful by being out of the picture. He has finally found his answers!

 ** _See Bomin, we can help you._** He smile at their words.

 ** _You are doing the right thin_** **g.** it'swords lighten his worries and fears.

 ** _You aren't a fuck up like everyone suspects you to be, you are finally doing something righ_** **t!** He felt proud of himself, he thinks this is the way to go, that this is his fate.

He walks around til he sits on the ledge and allows the warm breeze to sink into his bones, it brings him peace and panic. He felt relief and fear, this is what he wants. Looking at the setting sun only made him more melancholic, he use to love to watch the sunset and the sunrise but at some point, it became tedious.

He felt a wet substance fall down his cheek. He felt so badly broken, he only brings pain to others, he feels pathetic and the cause of everything going to shit. Bomin is not alright but once it is all over, he will be.

He looked at the body of water, wanting to embrace the uncertainty, rather than fear the unknown, feeling the breeze blowing in his tear stricken face.

It happens all at once, as his body hits the water, he is enveloped into a void of darkness and he feels nothing, it no longer scared him.

***

The nine boys had spent the whole entire night with the help of friends looking for their maknae. They have been out of their minds searching for the younger boy and nothing, he hasn't come home and no one has seen him.

"Where could he be!" Daeyeol hasn't slept to afraid that the worst has happened to his precious maknae. He had a parents tuition when it came to Bomin, he became like a second father to the younger boy.

"You need to rest hyung" Youngtaek tries to calm the older male down.

"How, when Bomin is out there alone!" He tries not to fall apart again.

He felt restless and upset, how could everyone just sit there and do nothing! "We will find him." Jaehyun is in no better conditions then his hyung is. All of them looked and felt like shit, it has been a hard day yesterday and last night, leading to this morning and nobody could offer a solution.

"I am scared." Sungyoon sighs in sorrow.

"He is all right." Jibeom comes into view, they all are trying to not jump to the conclusion, one they cannot bring themselves to say. So next is optimism even when they felt hopeless, it was best not to think of the worst scenario.

"Guys!" Seungmin screams and all of them rush to his shared room.

"What!" they all say simultaneously.

"He is in the hospital." He tried to hold back his sobs.

"What do you mean?" Jangjun couldn't bare to think that their maknae is hurt or worse.

"Someone found Bomin but he isn't doing well." Seungmin is trying not to break down, when he knows it won't do any good. They all rush out of the complex and to the hospital where Bomin is being monitored at.

They make it their in-record time, wanting to be by their youngest side. "Please tell me where Choi Bomin is!" the nurse looks up at the nine-worried sleep deprived boys. "Are you family?" and they all without a doubt nod their heads in agreement.

She looks back at her computer and looks for his name in the system "He is in room 501." they thanked her and went straight for the staircases not wanting to wait for the slow elevator.

They prayed, all of them running to the fifth floor and profusely apologizing to anyone they accidentally bump or hit. They are hoping for him to be safe and fine, but they weren't ready for the reality of Bomin's condition, physically and mentally. They made it to his room and barged in, they see a fragile broken boy on the hospital bed and he wasn't in good shape, he had bruises on his face and body, his skin lost it shine, looking like a phantom.

What happened? They all questioned to why they ended up here in this situation. what had driven Bomin to be cold and gone, for the last three months Bomin had changed, it was slow and went unnoticed, it was like they never knew.

"Bomin." Daeyeol cried, his sobs bringing pain to everyone's hearts, Jangjun pulls the oldest in his arms and comforts him. They all try to cope with the situation in their own way. 

"Am I dead?" Bomin's throat scratchy and irritated. They all felt relief fill their veins as Bomin is awake and speaking even if he is bad shape at least he is alive and that is all that matters to them.

"Thank God you are alive!" Youngtaek kissed the top of his head.

"No, no, no!" Bomin started to panic and everyone didn't know why.

"I was supposed to die!" his pleas of death coming to light.

"I wasn't supposed to live!" he starts to hyperventilate, the heart monitor reacting to the boy's slow chaotic heartbeat.

"I wasn't supposed to survive, this was the solution!" He tries to make sense of it all, as to why he didn't die?

"I am sorry!" he starts to cry and they all stay in silence as they didn't know what to do.

"Bomin stop!" Sungyoon tries to calm him down.

"No, don't comfort me!" The younger pulls his knees to his chest.

"We love you Bomin-ah." Joochan tries to touch the maknae but the younger male flinches.

"Please stop talking." He went into a manic episode.

 _ **You can never do anything right** _They are merciless.

"You have people that care about you Bomin-ah." Jibeom tries to add in. 

"your family loves you." Each one trying to list many reasons as to why the maknae was the light of their lives.

 _ **Look at them trying to lie through their teeth Bomin, don't listen to them!**_ He didn't know who to believe.

"Lastly, we need you Boomin, you are important." but it was all in vain.

He couldn't take it anymore!

"Don't try to tell me what I got to live for." Bomin pulls at his hospital gown. He knew all of this but he just couldn't bring himself to feel or care, it made him even more guilty, his heart baring more burdens. Making him hate himself even more than he did yesterday and he wishes he didn't have to feel like life was a noose around his neck.

"Don't make me want it again!" He sobs, he couldn't bare to face the people he cares about the most.

"I was supposed to die." Bomin gave up, letting his guard down and allowing his hyungs to comfort him. He didn't mean to, he didn't, his heart was not meant to carry his heavy soul and he can't bare the pressure of it all. The thought of tomorrow scaring him, more and more, the thought of living another day only causing him to pray for another way out.

"I am sorry." he starts to chant, as he cries himself to sleep, exhaustion and dehydration causing him to go in and out of consciousness and everyone else just fall into a mournful silence.

No one, not daring to speak of what has happened, how their precious maknae wishes for the angel of death to hold him into the good night, it made them mournful for the boy they once knew. His smile nowhere in sight and maybe it was never real. Maybe the boy they knew was the mask that depression force him to bare?

They all felt responsible for not being there, allowing the boy to carry these deep wounds and aching haunts, that they didn't even know how to combat, they all felt like the failed the younger boy.

_**-The End** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I am sorry, this work comes from a personal and deep place of my heart and one that really brought out from past hurt. So I decided to put my pain down in writing and I am sorry, please note the sensitivity of this topic and that this was written from a faint heart.
> 
> -AndreaXx


	25. Half (Daeyeol/Sungyoon, Jangjun/Sungyoon)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: First update of quarantine hours lol. Welp I hope you all enjoyed it! Another update coming soon later on in the day and so yeah.
> 
> -AndreaXx

**_ Song: In The Dark- Bring Me The Horizon _ **

**_ Sungyoon: _ **

  
  
  
**_ Daeyeol: _ **

  
  
**_ 3rd Person's P.O.V: _ **

Though winter came and went, as spring has given life and new beginnings. These are times to dance and revile in the brighting days and call comfort in the light breeze of the glow beams of the cradle moon. This phenomenon has not touched the broken lovers home in ages, it has been months since they shared kisses like a secret love letter being passed across a classroom. They no longer know each other movements as though this is their first meeting, and they cannot give each their hearts to one another so easily, as the innocent and pure trust has rotten and brittled away from the chilling weather in their love.

Truthfully Daeyeol had not forgotten where his own loyalty lies and the only one he yearns for is Choi Sungyoon. The one who had stolen his heart at the ripe age of twenty and he could never forget how his heart rejoiced when the younger promised to be his and he promised to be Sungyoon's, those stolen moments of love and hope still young and roaring in his wild-heart and the only one that could tame him is the other.

Yet, he started to notice the different shine in the bunny like man, how he seems to be more energetic than last week, or how he seems to be more forgiving than his nature usually is, the way he calls his name has a different ring, and the way he holds his hand it seems like he wants to break free. As though the older's love and affection is like a prison, it is too confining and smothering.

He wanted to believe that they hadn't changed, that their hearts still beat the same, that their minds still connect, and their touches aren't as chilling as the frost bitten snow. He worried that they couldn't get back from this fallout and the older wasn't ready for the reality if Sungyoon does leave him, it hurt, to be passed over.

To lose the one you love!

It felt like a backhand to the face!

It is incomprehensibly devastating to have your heart discarded.

Like he meant nothing to the younger.

It felt sickening, he wanted to hate Choi Sungyoon for destroying him, it was unfair to him. To drag him along and not care about the actions and how it will affect others! He is selfish and cold, it brought him nothing but heartache and misery and a part of him died just a little bit.

"I shouldn't have to keep defending myself!" This is another night of dagger tongues and blistering cold shoulders. 

"I am tired of your bull shit Sungyoon!" Daeyeol screamed in frustration 

"I can't keep doing this back and forth hyung, at some point it becomes repetitive and tiresome. I keep telling you that there is nothing going on and you won't believe me." He just wanted to sleep.

"You can keep pretending like you did nothing wrong cuz you can wash the guilt away so easy?" His tone accusing. 

"I can't do this!" He just wanted some peace and quiet. 

"This is so like you!" That really pissed off the younger male.

"Fucking hell Daeyeol, you always make me the bad guy!" Sungyoon couldn't keep in his anger anymore as it all became too much to burden.

"I just want the truth Sungyoon, it is all I am asking and you can't even do that!" Daeyeol couldn't stand this empty home.

"What do you want me to say? I told you, I love you and what more do you want from me!" He threw the pillow on the other side of their bedroom.

"I love you but, it is always the same ending! You will always choose him, Sungyoon tell me the truth, for once." Daeyeol couldn't bare to look at the younger lover.

"I told you, Jangjun and I are only friends but you insist on turning it into something more!" He couldn't handle the assumptions.

"You love me because it is convenient for you." They had become comfortable and stuck in a routine and neither one dared to disrupt the balance.

"I am sick of this Daeyeol, it is like whatever I say it will never be enough for you!" He will admit his flaws but a cheater isn't one.

"Because you are lying! I am not crazy Yoon, this isn't some jealous crazed mind. At some point you knew in your heart that he could love you in the way I can't and who you can love in the way you can't love me." it is a bitter after taste but he couldn't live like this.

He always envied the younger man, Jangjun is charismatic, charming, smart, kind, considerate, and so many things that would have anyone fall for him. It was impossible not too, Jangjun had this unexplainable aura that made people want to connect and somehow they had matched each other better than they did.

"I am telling you he is just a friend and I can't keep going in circles with you, it only causing the same ending." He became irritable.

"Keep denying all you want but the truth is you don't feel the same anymore." He wasn't blind or a fool.

"Your eyes are different, they shine so differently then they use too. Your smile is more vibrant, it is nice to see you genuinely smile. Also you seem more happy since you met him, it is great to see you actually not pretend for once, it just hurts that it isn't me that makes you this way." Daeyeol slumped down the wall and onto the freshly cleaned wooden floor of their bedroom.

"Now you have nothing to say." Sungyoon didn't realize the sudden changes in his own heart.

"I-I-I am sorry." That is all the younger could say.

"Keep your apologies, you couldn't even realize the change in your demeanor. I would always be second best to him and in the end it will always be him. He felt gone, it is like all the air in his lungs depleted.

"What happen to us?" His features turned sullen.

Sungyoon sat up in their shared bed and he couldn't dare to look at the other man, it all came full circle, his heart didn't feel the same way about Daeyeol as he once did, they aren't college kids that only knew the touch of each other. Who thought they would always be together forever and that the test of time would never catch up to them... but it seems that not even their own great love story could make it out alive.

"Just be honest with me." He finally had the courage to look at his shameless lover.

"I love you Daeyeol, it was never a lie, I am sorry." He tried to make sense of this.

He wasn't one to leave when the going gets tough. "How do I fix this hyung?"

"Cut all contact and stop being friends, could you do it? Could you stop loving him?" Daeyeol wanted to see his reaction.

Sungyoon barely got his best friend back and he couldn't bare to lose him again."You are asking too much hyung, it isn't simple, I am sorry but he is just a friend and someone that is close to me and always have and I just can't."

When Jangjun decided to join the military after high school, it scared the living shit out of the older and made him panic over his well being. They had confessed the night before his departure and Sungyoon always carried that memory around with him like a locket. This was before he met Daeyeol, his heart had always belonged to the one and only Lee Jangjun and that never changed and at some point he tried to replace the younger with the older.

seven years they had been apart and the last two years Jangjun had been declared missing and presumably dead, it broke a piece of him when he learned about this, to learn that your first love is gone and will never comeback, it devastated him. He had made peace thanks to the older man, he had his heart for the last six years but when he came back eight months ago live and well, it brought a spark into his heart.

"Then there is no us Sungyoon." Daeyeol wouldn't be the backup plan.

"I am sorry." Sungyoon tried to replace those feelings and it took losing him to figure that out but he also loves the older man but just not in the way he thought he did.

"We were never a right fit in the end and all we did was go in circles and try to rearrange puzzle pieces that refuse to match and you found the missing piece and it wasn't me." Daeyeol hated Choi Sungyoon but most of all, himself for not realizing this earlier.

"We met at the right place but loved at the wrong time and it would have never been a right time and for that I am sorry." He truly did love the older but it would be unfair to Daeyeol to only half love him.

This love came crashing down right in front of them like a burning car, it was not a lite situation and one that must be done. They loved without regret but sometime love stays and sometimes love must go and this is something that must happen in order to find happiness that they couldn't keep with each other.

**_ -The End _ **


	26. Lies (Daeyeol/Bomin)

**_ Song: Lies- Marina and The Diamonds _ **

**_ Daeyeol: _ **

  
**_ Bomin: _ **

  
**_ A/N: This is through Bomin's sister's P.O.V note she is older and you can imagine her as whoever. As I don't have any girl idol's in mind and the only idol gg I follow is Apink but I couldn't picture them playing the role so imagine anyone. _ **

**_ 3rd Person's P.O.V: _ **

She knew, in her bones, within her skin and beneath the superficial structure, there was no way to hide it. She knew her boyfriend, Lee Daeyeol, is in love with her brother and he loves him too, it was not shocking or tale telling, they were not smart about how to hide their own feelings to one another.

A part of her hated Bomin for stealing him, for taking his affections and attention, it was suppose to be her and not him! What is so special about her kid brother? Yes, he is handsome and adorable and yes, he is funny and kind and yes, he is a parents wet dream. Any person would want him as their son-in-law, he is the perfect child, the golden child, everyone stops and stares at Bomin wherever he goes.

He is a senior in high school and her and Daeyeol are both juniors in college. Bomin being nineteen and her and Daeyeol being twenty-five, it is an age gap but they didn't care and she wouldn't say a word about it cuz the gap could be worse and he is legal so nothing to extreme.

She would be willing to look over it cuz she loves Daeyeol, even if he doesn't love her, having him around is satisfying and good enough for her and she didn't ask for more. She didn't dare to confront the two about their secret relationship, it would be too hard to hear the things they have done and the love they have shared would only do worse.

She was fine with the lies, she didn't want to know, it was best if she didn't know at all.

Yet, they weren't suddle and smooth as they think they are, it hurt to see them together and in love. She hated every moment of it and a part of her wanted to tell them that she knew about their deeds, yet she kept quite all this time, she knew Daeyeol would choose him over her, she wasn't ready for the reality and the weight of it all.

She knew they spent their "study" time together and snuck behind closed doors making out and doing more than friendly things together. She knew they had betrayed her and she couldn't bare it anymore, yet she still smiled and laughed as though she didn't know anything.

She pretended that her heart didn't break in two or how her smile became stiff and undone, how she couldn't stomach the doubt or comprehend the lies that she feeds herself. So much of herself is coming loose at the seams as she watches her relationship come apart and witness the love flourishing between the two people she trusted the most.

How the lies keep piling up and so much of herself becomes gone and she doesn't know if this is worth it? Her heart had started to become bitter and frozen when she sees her brother, it makes her feel fake, she hates Bomin for taking away Daeyeol.

She hates how they act like they aren't slowly killing her!

How could they do this to her?

Do they have no shame!

Why must it be her that suffers?

She knew deep down that she will always be second best and her baby brother, the golden boy, he is someone that has no flaws or misdeeds. She hoped that Daeyeol would choose her over him and watch him break slowly like she has all this time.

How foolish could she be?

Everything came crashing down when she heard the star crossed lovers doing things they shouldn't be doing. Heard their moans and groans, could feel the room shake as the bed frame bull dozed against the walls, as her tears stained her grief stricken face.

She wanted to throw up, hearing them profess things to one another in the confinement of the supposed empty house.

She wished she didn't get off class early.

She allowed them to finish as she waits in the living room for them. She had enough and she was ready to give up the act and call it a quits!

Ten minutes later, they come out glowing in the lustful aftermath of their affair and she couldn't stand the site.

She debated on confronting them or overlooking this incident of transgressions yet again, it made her so conflicted, her heart couldn't suffer another blow but she wanted Daeyeol even if she had to share him with another. Maybe he would love her back if she tried harder or tried to be more like her brother. Would this all be worth it in the end?

"Hey babe." Daeyeol walked straight to the tearful girl.

"Hey Mina." Bomin brightly smiles at his older sister that is sitting on the couch in thought.

"Hey guys." She couldn't keep her voice from shaking.

They stopped at the entrance of the living room, it is deadly silent and fear has overtaken their tongues as they didn't expect her to be here.

"What is wrong?" Daeyeol didn't want to break her heart.

"What happen??" Bomin played dumb as well, only furthering to piss her off.

"Nothing just a bad day at school!" She tried to hold back but she felt like falling apart.

She had decided that after months of killing herself just to be half loved, it wouldn't work and she needed someone to love her in the way she loves her boyfriend, it was now or never.

"It just hurts to give your all and then for it to be thrown back and just be treated this way! To be cruel and mean all I have is you guys." She looks up with swollen and poppy red eyes, it was a pitiful sight.

They both were shocked at her words, it was not what they expected at all and one they would hope not to come by. They really tried to keep their feelings hidden, they really did, yet after all this time and how they grew close to each other over the months getting to know each other. Daeyeol and Bomin truly felt guilty over the betrayal towards her but the heart wants what it wants and so they took the leap.

Daeyeol, knew he was not in love with her, it hurt to lie to her but to tell the younger that he is in love with the younger man is worse. So he did what he thought was the best option and turns out maybe it wasn't because in the end, she would be devastated and hate them both.

"Yeah, you do noona." Bomin felt a loss for words.

They both tried to swallow the guilt.

"You promise to always be by my side and have my back?" Daeyeol and Bomin both nodded their heads with despondent smiles.

"Oppa and my beloved dongsaeng would never treat me that way or hurt me, right?" She wanted to see what they would do, if they would still lie to her face or be honest.

"Never Mina!" Daeyeol was the first to rush to her side.

"Yeah, never." Her brother's voice weak and devastated.

"Would you always be my side Daeyeol?" She looked at him with tear stain eyes and a faint heart.

"Always." He didn't sound to sure but it was enough for her to see Bomin devastated and she would take it as a win!

"I love you." She proclaimed without guilt. 

"I love you too." He tried to sound convincing.

She pulls the older into a kiss and she could hear retreating footsteps. She didn't care about his feelings or Daeyeol's they ruined her heart and so she would do whatever she can to keep them apart, it was her revenge.

This would be her happy ending and not his, Even if it is a lie.

**_ -The End _ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I have a lot of ideas so watch out for more over the weeks of this madness. No set schedule but I will try to update a lot... try... so thank you everyone for being patient with me and supporting me!
> 
> -AndreaXx


	27. 1000x (Jibeom/Jaehyun)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Might as well right? I have some good time on my hands and I have to fill my time somehow... so fanfiction! I have no regrets and will probably be doing this for the rest of the time being. Or trying to who knows?

**_ Song: 1000x- JTBC Superband Cover (originally by Jarryd James) _ **

**_ Jibeom and Jaehyun: _ **

  
  
"I swear that when our lips touch, I can taste the next 60 years of my life."  
― Rudy Francisco

"I love you in a language that I don't fully understand. In words that I haven't found enough courage to forklift out of my chest."  
― Rudy Francisco

**_ 3rd Person's P.O.V:  _ **

Jibeom couldn't hide the fondness, how his eyes melt like fondue, his smile spreads like sunbeams, and his heart pounding faster than the speed of a bullet. His palms clammy, his breath riddled with anxiety, his lungs stuttering like a newborn walking, and his mind a wildfire of silly pick up lines.

He couldn't contain the wild horse tongue in front of his lover, he tries to play cool, yet his resolve slips away as Jaehyun looks his way and his body feels like jelly, it is silly that he is weak when it comes to his other half. He couldn't ignore the way his spirit sings the words of silly love songs or how his mind had no desire than to see his lover smile.

It might be ridiculous, he sounds crazy, how could anyone love someone with such a fierceness and such pride as he has done? His heart just can't help but to fall, each time he sees Jaehyun, it feels like the very first time and he can't help but feel such exhilaration!

He is just a fool in love and without caution, at any moment he could fall, without a back up plan, he wouldn't recover.

He wanted to spend the rest of his existence and into the next with Bong Jaehyun, there was no if, ands, or buts about it, Jibeom wanted nobody else. Never wanted the taste of another, the greatest sin he has committed is greed, he wants to keep Jaehyun for himself, not wanting him to share his love with another. He wanted a forever in a world that could not guarantee that outcome and he is willing to roll the dice, there is truly no other way.

He would give up all the riches and wealth in the world just for another moment with the man, in another life time he would never change his mind, no hesitation in his heart, he would look to the ends of the earth and back just to have Jaehyun smile at him. To love him the way he does now and he never takes for granted that trust and love Jaehyun has given him.

He had fallen in love with the silence of the morning sun, as he could see the light shine upon the blonde hair beauty, his breath taken away from him every time, he feels like he has fallen in love with the sleeping beauty everytime after. He would want nothing more than to have this moment taken in still-frame and play forever, so when this world cease to exist and the ravages of time have gone by, this memory would live on far from the reality, never tainted and forever rose gold.

How he yearns to keep him close, to love him for as long as he can, he would love Bong Jaehyun for infinity! He would travel foreign terrains, climb the dangerous of mountains tops, and he would burn in the depth of hell if it meant he could hold Jaehyun's hand. He would be happy for a single moment, he is a patient man, his love has grown from a place of darkness and sprouted into the light, bringing hope and joyfulness.

He placed a gentle hand to the jaw line of the older's face and slowly caresses his face, loving how beautiful and ethternal the other glows. He would never get enough, his heart sang and rejoiced, as he felt the older lean in to his touch and unconsciously smile, he loves how sweet and kind his Jaehyunie smiles and the way he just looks at him with fondness.

He wanted a forever, here and now, wants to spend millenniums with the sleeping man and he could never think of a better way, could never dream of a life without Bong Jaehyun by his side. He wouldn't dare think of it, he would be lost. A heart without love is no life to live.

"Yah, Kim Jibeom, didn't your parents teach you about staring!" Jaehyun's voices tiredly and riddled with sleep.

"I couldn't help myself when my cute fiance looks so pretty." Jibeom cringes at his own cheesiness but he couldn't help the truth.

"You are lucky I love you, if I didn't I would have hit you for that comment." His eyes still not open.

"You would still hit me regardless, yet I would still love you, you make me crazy." He loves the mornings cuz he could be like this with his lover.

"You make it sound like I abuse you Jibeom!" He frowns and the older is still cute.

"I am sorry my love." He chuckles at his lover's sulky pout.

How he loves someone so much, with a heart so pure and evergreen, he has only ever felt unadulterated love for Jaehyun, his heart never lies. He would never break his lover's heart without breaking his own first.

Mornings like this spent in love and happiness is what he treasures most, even the times when not everything can't be rainbows and puppies, he still loves those moments cuz Jaehyun is by his side and that is how he wants it to be.

"I love you to the moon and back Kim Jibeom." A heart full of love nevers lies.

"I love me too." He chuckles as Jaehyun playfully punches him.

"Alright, alright, you know I love you more than anything in this world." He kisses his pouting fiance.

"Even when you do abuse me." That warrants another hit and he just laughs at his lover's expense.

He wanted nothing more than to spend his life with the one he loves most. He would never ask for more, cuz he has just that right in front of him and he will never grow distant or hungry as long as Bong Jaehyun accepts his imperfect heart. Mornings are his favorite part of the day and they continue to be.

**_ -The End _ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I was like why the hell not? So here is another update for you all! 
> 
> -AndreaXx


	28. Fool's Holiday (Sungyoon/Jangjun)

**_ Song: Fool's Holiday- All Time Low _ **

**_ 3rd Person's P.O.V: _ **

Sungyoon hated Christmas, he despised this stupid capitalistic corporate holiday! Nothing but a fool's holiday and he hated everything about the green tinsel and colorful lights that string through the streets and homes of the masses.

Yet, his adoring and lovable boyfriend is obsessed with the dreadful day and it gave him a bad taste in his mouth and one he wish to no longer feel. He wanted to tell the younger man that this is just a bunch of bullshit but he knew that it would be unfair, it would hurt his lover, he might be a scrooge on this mighty fine day but if it put a smile on his puppy boyfriend, than it was worth it.

All he wants this christmas is for this to be the best Christmas as a couple, prior to their relationship, they were only friends and exs, prior to that couple and this is their first Christmas holiday together as a couple again and he wants to make this one to remember.

His lover is coming over and he is a bit worried, he tried to decorate his humble abode into a somewhat of a christmas wonderland, it took him all night and with the help of his loving mother. Very much so excitingly brought over "a little" bit of decorations to raise the jolly and holly christmas spirits, that Sungyoon also dreadfully despised.

Love makes you do things that one wouldn't do and this is one of them, he wouldn't do this for anyone not even his own mother! Jangjun is someone special and before they got together, he would always make fun of the younger for his childlike excitement of the holiday season, which resulted in the younger sulking and stomping away in anger of how the older is a killjoy.

This holiday season, he would put on a smile and smell the peppermint and cinnamon spice that roams through out his studio complex. He tried not to tear his hair out from the festive joy his apartment radiated but the end justify the means, that is good enough for him!

He even learned how to make some of his favorite dishes, Lee Jangjun is lucky that the older man is a fool for him, Sungyoon really wouldn't do this just for anyone, he put his heart and soul into this!

With that, also came along doubt and fear that maybe Jangjun wouldn't like it, he knows how kind and selfless his boyfriend really is. He knew that the younger is not a snob or one to turn up his nose in superiority, that is far from Jangjun's character and personality.

His thoughts got the best of him, his paranoia and anxiety rises every second he thought about the younger's arrival! This is not good for him right now, he hasn't finish cooking or getting dressed, or even wrapping his gift for Jangjun.

He is ready for the holiday to be over and back to normalcy!

***  
 ** _2 hours later_**

**_4:56 p.m._ **

All the food is prepared, thankfully, the cookies are in the oven and will be done in a few minutes. He checked off his mental to-do-list and decided he would wrap his gift to the younger man, he hopes that Jangjun would love it.

It isn't much, given college is a nightmare and being a part time retail associate is good living but college and rent. So, he saved up enough to get his wonderful boyfriend something special.

It took no more than ten minutes, he isn't skilled in the sophisticated arts of wrapping and so he gave up and put it in wrapping tissue and put it in a gift bag. It gave him a mad headache, but love is blind, the timer went off on the oven and his phone ping with a signal that someone has messaged him.

He first went to the kitchen and took out the assortment of shapes and fun decorated cookies. All that was left was his phone and getting dressed, it has been a stressful day but the payoff will be worth it, he knows it will!

He picked up his iphone and turned it on, the first notification is from his emails, group chat with his friends, a game notice, and lastly a message from Jangjun stating that he would be on his way and that was thirty minutes ago! He would be here soon and he isn't even washed up properly.

He ran to his room, like a bat out of hell, he got into the shower and took care of his hygienics. Got out in fifteen minutes and put on his red and white outfit, it is dumb, but go big or go home, this is his grand gesture to Jangjun.

He wasn't a sap or romantic guy but some days he wanted to be and what better day, then christmas!

He heard his door alarm ring and Jangjun's voice vent through the monitor. He hoped that the man hadn't been standing out there for too long, he speeds walk over to the door and swung the door a bit too hard open, almost hitting himself in the face.

"What are you wearing?" Jangjun giggles at his getup.

"What are you wearing?" Sungyoon ask in turns.

Both stunned into silence, Jangjun paired in a plain white t-shirt, leather jacket, and fitting black jeans. Sungyoon wearing a santa claus outfit and underneath a white turtleneck, his hair a bit damped but Jangjun thought the older looks handsome.

He allowed Jangjun to come through the threshold and into the mini-wonderland Sungyoon and his mother created and it is beautiful and very white, his mother mainly did it up and this decor is her idea and he just went with it, he had no say in his own home but hey he wasn't gonna complain cuz he didn't pay for any of it.

Jangjun didn't know what to say, this was unknown to him, he knew his boyfriend hated this joyous holiday and he gets it but he loves it a lot. He wasn't gonna wear anything related to the holiday as he wanted to make this christmas perfect for his boyfriend.

He just didn't know that Sungyoon had done the same thing for him, this is the best thing anyone has done for him. Beyond words, this is the best present he has ever received, how could he not fall more in love with the older! He doesn't deserve this, Sungyoon keeps surprising him, just how did he get so lucky?

"I have one more thing!" Sungyoon runs to his room and comes out with a mini box, wrapped in glitter paper and a tiny messy bow.

"I thought we agreed we wouldn't get each other anything?" To Jangjun's dismay, he wanted Sungyoon to be happy.

"Well you are my present, also I am always a scrooge but this holiday season, I wanted to see you smile." Sungyoon is too much!

"You are cheesy hyung." He whines as he takes the gift from his boyfriend's outstretched hands.

"Well deal with it!" He kisses the younger.

The younger couldn't help the blush that brazed his checks, he couldn't deal with this part of his Sungyoonie hyung, it made him all warm and fuzzy inside. He loves the older man and the fact he did all of this, just makes him fall in love all over again, he didn't deserve this.

"Open it!" Sungyoon couldn't wait to see the look on the younger's face.

He waited nervously for Jangjun to react, he had thought this over and over and the only answer was that he wants to spend every day of his life with Jangjun.

"What is this!" It is a blue velvet box and Jangjun didn't know what to think of the item inside it.

The older gets on one knee and takes a deep breathe "Open it, if you got forever to spend with me?" Jangjun couldn't move.

His brain couldn't function but his absent minded opens the box without a second thought. "I swear that things are different and I will continue to prove myself. I'm more than just broken promises and I know I can be insensitive and I am sorry." Sungyoon would make sure things would be different this time.

"Move in with me!" He wanted to wake up next to Jangjun and go to bed with the man, every day and night, he wanted to see his face and know that he is home and that thought alone brought him peace of mind and comfort. He would do better!

"You idiot, I thought you were proposing for a moment!" Jangjun chastises the man before him.

"Did you want it to be? cuz it technically is." He jokes causing the younger to smile and playfully swat at his shoulder.

"What happens if I want to look at other prospects?" He tries to hold back a mischievous grin.

That didn't settle well with the older even though he knows that the younger is a rascal, he still didn't like the sound of it. "Welp, you are stuck with me, it is a contract the moment you agreed to be my boyfriend!"

The bunny like man glares at the giggling man. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Yes, I will move in with you." He wasn't planning to make that move any time soon but it felt right, in his heart, this moment he feels confident and wants to take the unforeseen jump.

The older stood up and kissed his lover in a frenzy of elation and excitement. He would spend the rest of his life like this with Lee Jangjun, for better or for worse, he is in it for the long run and he means every word. He knows that he messed up, knew that Jangjun would have never accepted him again, yet he showed his vulnerability and efforts to wanting to fix their broken trust.

He knows they are past the pain he caused the younger some years ago but Sungyoon still carried that guilt, he was cruel and shallow, Jangjun would follow him blindly and he let him fall without safety. The impact scared Jangjun and Sungyoon dealt with the backlash and shame as he watched the younger suffer in silence.

He wasn't kind or good but Jangjun still stayed. The older would ignore him in public, flirt with others, bail on dates, lie to the younger, he messed around, and didn't care about Jangjun's feelings. He just assumed the younger would always be there and forgave him each time for it and was too kind for his own good and Sungyoon hates himself for taking advantage of his lovers good will.

He sometimes wonders why Jangjun ever agreed to take him back or even be his friend after the whole fiasco, but that is how he is and it never ceases to amaze the older of his lover's kind nature.

"I love you Jangjun." Sungyoon had made up for every mistake and paid every sin.

"You are an idiot, I love you more." Jangjun knew that in his heart that Sungyoon still carried the guilt but he had his own secrets too and ones that could have damaged their relationship back then but Sungyoon forgave him for it.

They both had a lot of bad in them but they made up for it in their own way, not everyone is bad nor good, they managed to deal with it together instead of in silence and now they are better off than they were before.

"Merry Christmas my love!" The older kisses him once more.

"Happy thursday my grinch!" He pokes the older as the man wouldn't stop showering him in affection.

"Now let's eat!" He was drooling as he smelled the good food the older had graciously made.

"If we must." The older pulls away holding Jangjun's hand pulling him towards the table of food. 

That night was spent in laughter and joy, to new love and happiness.

**_ -The End _ **


	29. Tribulation (Jibeom/Jaehyun)

**_ Song: Tribulations- Matt Maeson _ **

**_ Jibeom: _ **

**_ Jaehyun: _ **

**_ 3rd Person's P.O.V: _ **

Jibeom didn't deserve the pain and misfortune, Jaehyun is a walking calamity, he couldn't keep standing by as his boyfriend keeps taking the blame for his misunderstandings and incidents, it isn't fair and it isn't right, yet Jibeom keeps taking the hits.

He has begged and pleaded with the other man to stop, to leave, go far away from him! He has cried and screamed to the heavens above for forgiveness for his dereliction and forgetfulness, he is trying, oh god how he is trying to get it together and be the person Jibeom needs. Yet, he could never seem to do or say the right things or how everything he touches breaks, it makes him feel worthless and useless, it makes him feel like he isn't good enough for the amazing star Kim Jibeom.

He loves Jibeom with a soul that is pure and graceful, yet his intent seems misconceived and malicious, he hates how one moment he can smile and laugh, the next he is a teary eyed mess and his lover has to come rescue him. Jaehyun just can't love Jibeom right.

He couldn't be the reason why the other is miserable, he couldn't be the source of Jibeom's misery, he couldn't be his ball and chain, it only hurts Jaehyun to think, he is the reason why Jibeom couldn't succeed and go far away from this hell. Yet, his heart calls out for Jibeom, his spirit dwindles when he isn't near, he is lost and now he must go.

He has to end it.

"Jibeom, I think we should break up." Jaehyun had weighed the pros and cons, the results had been too much.

Jibeom didn't understand why Jaehyun wants to end things, just yesterday they were talking about their future together and how they would always have each others back, through thick and thin, for better or for worse, even on their worse days they would be there for one another.

"I don't think we can be together, not now or ever." He has to break his own heart in half.

"You can't make these decisions on your own." Jibeom stood across their shared apartment frozen.

"Don't make this harder than it needs to be Jibeom-ah!" He tries to hold back the tears that threaten to spill.

" You can't decide my heart, I love you Jaehyun! Don't do this to me, to us, Jaehyun what is wrong?" Where is this coming from?" why is his lover being so cold?

"I think I'm better on my own Jibeom, you will thank me later for this moment." He tries to smile but he feels too weak.

"No, stop it Jaehyun, tell me what I can do to fix this." Jibeom walls closer to the other.

He couldn't allow the other to undermine his decision, this has to happen for both of them. This love would have never lasted anyways and it is just best to end it, Jibeom will see later. He is doing the other a great favor by leaving.

"There is nothing to fix Jibeom! Please just let me do this, it isn't you—"

"Don't you fucking dare Bong Jaehyun! Tell me what is wrong, I need you to talk to me and tell me what is going on." He pulls the older into himself and desperately holds him tighter.

Jaehyun holds on, yet he knows that this wouldn't end the way Jibeom is hoping for. He would break his heart, if he wants to save the other from himself, he would have to kill him just a bit inside.

"I found someone else, I am sorry Jibeom, please understand that this isn't your fault." Jaehyun couldn't look the other in the eyes, it would be a dead giveaway, Jibeom would know he is lying to his face.

"No, that isn't it!" He refuse to believe his lover's betrayal.

Jaehyun couldn't stand the silence or the accusing stares, he had to make this lie believable, he knows that he would have to hurt him to the point where Jibeom couldn't be able to stand looking at him.

"Youngtaek hyung and I reconnected and I am sorry." His voice barely a whisper.

"Not him! Not anyone, Bong Jaehyun please stop talking!" His heart couldn't take it, he doesn't or wouldn't believe it.

"I am sorry Jibeom, it happened so quickly and I thought him and I, there is just too much history and I am so sorry!" He refuse to make eye contact with the other.

"You are lying Jaehyun!" He knows in his heart that this is a lie, that the love of his life could never do something so cruel and still smile at him.

"I am sorry Jibeom, I don't love you anymore." He felt his insides being torn apart by uttering those venomous words.

"Look at me and tell me. I don't believe you Bong Jaehyun!" He raises his chin up with index finger and his heart just broke.

"Please stop Jibeom, it is bad enough, just let it go and forget." Jaehyun tried to keep his tears at bay, yet he couldn't fight his heart.

"Look me in the eyes and tell me the truth, it is not hard."Jibeom waits with a baited breath.

How could the older do it? He would fall apart before the man that has always loved him and never once forced him or changed him. Jibeom never got upset over his manic episodes or his depressing state, he has understood and never once ran away. Jaehyun wishes he could be 'normal' and not fucked up in the head, he always felt burdensome and low, yet Jibeom would be there and stand in his silence.

"Please Kim Jibeom, I-I-I can't do this anymore!" He couldn't utter those words.

He would hate himself and he would make Jibeom hate him too, it is the only way, he has to be strong and be willing to break Jibeom, it is the only way he could save him. Jaehyun is a disaster in his own right and filled with childhood trauma. He needs constant reassurance at times, flinches whenever Jibeom gets a bit upset resulting in hurting the other, he sometimes is too needy it is suffocating, he gets ahead of himself without thinking about it, and the list goes on.

Jibeom needs someone that matches him well and he didn't want to get in the way of that, he had robbed the younger of many chances by being here, he heard everyone's opinions and insults. Jaehyun is too timid, he is too introverted, he is too demanding, you need someone that isn't odd, you need someone that smiles more, you need someone that isn't him, you need someone that is present, and he has heard it all without Jibeom knowing.

He doesn't mean to be the way he is, he doesn't want to be this and if he could he would change himself in a heartbeat. He hated the person he saw in the mirror, hated his eyes, his counterfeit smile, hated the way he would hold himself, hated his body, he is too ugly, fat, and too clumsy. He wanted to puke, he wanted to run away, hide for eternity cuz the thought of being in his own skin made him squeamish.

He would set him free of his own hell.

He looked into his earthly hues and he knew that this would destroy Jibeom, it would also obliviate Jaehyun, this would tear him limb from limb, he didn't want to do this. But this was bound to happen and he didn't want Jibeom to realize Jaehyun is just a waste of space. He had to run before Jibeom hurt him, he had been hurt too many times and he wasn't gonna get hurt again. He took two years of Jibeom's time away and he is sorry for that and now he is letting him go, for good.

"I am sorry Kim Jibeom, but I can't pretend anymore, I am breaking up with you." He had to shut himself down and gone into autopilot mode.

"You are lying!" He still refused the reality.

"Jibeom, I am tired and I need to go. Youngtaek hyung will be here soon." He is grateful that the older male understood and is willing to help him and take him in.

"Nope, you aren't leaving! I know the truth Jaehyun and this isn't it and whatever you are doing, please, I am begging you to stop this right now!" Jibeom pleaded, he didn't want to lose the only person that he cares about.

"Jibeom, you will find a girl or a guy and know that I was just a wrong turn to the right destination." He killed himself with these words.

"No, you are my home Bong Jaehyun and I won't stop fighting for you or us." He never loved someone the way he loved the older.

"You will be alright, I know it, you will one day forget the color of my eyes and you will forget mine. I will always love you, no matter what, it will just not be the way you want it to be." He had to let go for the both of them.

"Promise me something." He knew that his hyung will get here any moment and he will never see Jibeom again.

"Please don't." The younger knew in his heart that this is a losing fight.

"Promise me, that you will forget about me and our memories. Forget about the love we shared, forget the last six years and never look back. Don't try to find me cuz I will be long gone after today. I will be a memory of a memory, an old beat up box in the back of your closet never to be relieved again, just promise me, that whoever loves you next, they will treasure you and that big heart of yours. Don't settle for just anyone Kim Jibeom."He had to hold back the dam of emotions that would break at any given moment.

"Promise to love just as fiercely as you have done up until now." He pulls the other into a bruising hug, he will never get another moment like this.

He whispers in his ear, "Kim Jibeom you are my greatest love, but today you are my gravest sorrow." He has to let go and stand on his own.

"I will always love you." He captures the lips of his lover and wishes that this moment will last forever. Stuck in still frames, instead of broken hearts.

Jibeom kissed the other just as passionately and desperately, not wanting to let go, he never wanted to but he knew that Jaehyun couldn't stay and for reasons he would never know. He would smile cuz he has too, not cuz he wants too. He would laugh to bury the pain, and he would cry to mend his wounds. When love arrives, it is beautiful and magical, but sometimes it just doesn't stay and with graces, he must smile and take one last bow.

"I love you beyond the moon and stars Bong Jaehyun, never forget the heart that still beats and will always beat for you." Jibeom steals a chaste kiss.

He lets him go, along with his heart.

 **'Ding'** This is a goodbye.

"He is here." He picks up his luggage and walks past the same age man.

With one last look, he knows that he did the right thing but for who?

"Promise me Jaehyun this isn't forever." Jibeom would always search for his lost love in other's smiles and eyes.

Jaehyun never turned around or answered, he just walked out the door and promise to find a life worth living for. Maybe one day they will meet and laugh, like no time has passed and they could pick up where they left off. Or maybe they will be strangers walking down the streets and on to the next.

He will never forget the love they shared, both of them will never.

**_ -The End _ **


	30. Pretty Head (Sungyoon/Jangjun)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This is my first time writing a gender bender or well in this fic Jangjun is a female... so yeah. It went with the idea and song is inspiration.

**_ Song: Pretty Head- Transviolet  _ **

**_ Sungyoon: _ **

**_ Fem Jangjun _ ** **_ : _ **

  
  
**_ 3rd Pearson's P.O.V:  _ **

Jangjun wanted to be an object of admiration, yet nothing at all, she wanted to be heard and noticed for what she is and not what she looks like. She wanted to be more than a pretty face, yet nobody wanted her to open her mouth, as it would become invalidated by her own looks and the mass perception, it is better to be seen as naive than smart.

She should know better by now. Yet the pretty girl's mind wanted to be broadcasted and widely known as more than just an empty and vapid wasteland of nothingness, the black hair beauty wanted to be seen as something of substance, of worth, as what is more rebellious a women can do, is be confident.

Society has already conjured the idea, as a women, she should be pretty in order to live a wonderful life, cause there is more advantages to being pretty, an object of desire. To others aren't all the pretty girls happy? As though they are not allowed to feel burden or mentally destroyed by the world around them, it was frustrating to be degraded down to nothing but their looks, like nothing else matters.

Every time she spoke, nobody took her seriously, it only caused her more frustration and emptiness, made her feel worthless and disregarded, only causing her to feel misplaced in the life she leads. Her heart roars with passion and hope, yet her mind is exhausted fighting the same old war, it is hard to stop a vicious cycle once you have been consumed by the rogue storms.

She wanted more, yet when someone is willing to tell her what she wants to hear, it makes her give in to their honeysuckle deceptions and rose gold eyes, it is more of a let down when she realizes that they never meant a word.

"You are smart and accomplished." She let his hands wander without any restrictions from Jangjun.

"I promise they will love it too." Sungyoon laid a chaste kiss on the side of her long porcelain snow white neck.

"They will probably just ignore my proposal and just stare at me with mute on like they always do." it really becomes frustrating.

Being apart of a male predominant career has its own disadvantages and very few pros, it has not been fair nor kind to her but she knows that she can make changes even if it is on a board of middle-aged pricks and of course Sungyoon.

"You don't need their validation, you don't even need mine. You are the most competent and reliable worker Jangjun, you will kill the presentation and get the promotion and it's not cuz we are dating. You're brain is beautiful and I wish everyone else could see you the way I do." The older man always knew how to make her smile.

"You are just saying things I want to hear." She had a hard time believing anyone when they complimented her on her work ethics and smartness.

"I am sorry my love." He knew her strings of affair short, yet unforgettable.

They only wanted her for her body, a show pony, eyecandy, and they never stayed long enough. Some men don't like smart women, powerful, ambitious, goal-oriented, and kickass. He won the lottery when she agreed to date him, they matched each other in every way, and though she might be seem aloof, she is goofy, kind, and free-spirited, yet she is so unsure, insecure, and always belittling herself.

Sungyoon hated how she would question his love for her. "No, it is my fault Oppa, I just have a hard time believing someone actually likes me for something other than my face."

Jangjun never had to apologize for the way she feels and she didn't have to explain herself to him.

"Well believe it, cuz when you told those men that their approach would be outdated and bad business, you didn't allow their words or hungry glares deter you from wanting to make a change. You stood your ground and slammed down the facts, I trust your capability and your skill-set." He admires her for many things.

She runs the marketing team, at first Sungyoon thought Woohyun hired her cuz she is hot and nothing more, he had miss judged her and belittled her without actually looking at her resume and seeing how she graduated as top ten, has a masters degree in marketing, a bachelor's in business, she volunteers, studied abroad, has internships with three different companies, references from respective business associates, and the list goes on.

She is someone worth following, even when others put her down, she rises above the rest and he can't help but love her more and more everyday. He hopes his father and the rest of the board will see her talents, rather than just some pretty head.

"You know how to make a girl feel special." Jangjun pulled him closer to her, she stands on her tippy-toes and plants a kiss on his lips, staining his lips with her nude lip gloss.

"Only you Lee Jangjun." Lee Jangjun is not like the rest of them and so is Choi Sungyoon.

**_ -The End _ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Again please note, first time writing a story like this so I am sorry but I hope you all enjoy it!
> 
> -AndreaXx


	31. City Lights (Sungyoon/Jangjun)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This is from my Twitter fic that I wrote or whatever it is called. It is my first one on there. So I put it on here as well. It is short so expect nothing long and another song that gave me inspiration is A World Alone by LORDE.
> 
> 2nd A/N: Before putting this up I decided to add on to this and so the first note was from a few days ago and this one is today. So this is extended Ver. (3/27/2020)

**_ Song: City Lights- Motionless In White  _ **   
  


**_ Sungyoon: _ **

**_ Jangjun:  _ **

**_ 3rd Person's P.O.V: _ **

They tried to keep their hearts apart, made promises they could no longer keep, and broken hearts they never meant to break... most of all they had to say goodbye.

The city lights remind him of the nights he spent getting lost in blurred lines and past mistakes. How careless he could be with his own emotions and how he just couldn't keep it to himself and maybe they could have had a chance beyond the moonlight. 

To love and be loved is a wish that many can't have, it is a crime of passion, to experience this emotion. It is unnatural and wrong this could get them killed, it is dangerous beyond these four walls of the luxurious hotel room.

They shared the long hours of the nights in messy and tangled bed sheets, recounting the stars in their eyes as they share aching and feverish kisses and gentle, yet fleeting and fluttering touches.

With moaning confessions of a budding romance, one they found beyond the cognitive machines of their own mundane reality, how they could find hope within the eyes of a fleeting yet beautiful love. How Sungyoon saw the universe in the younger lover's eyes, and how when Jangjun lips touched the older's lips, he could taste an eternity, it was destiny that they met but it is fate that will tear them apart

As they become one, their hearts and soul ignite a dying spark of live, creating a fire within them they could not extinguish, as they yearn and burn for the touch of each other. Desiring and longing for a world without punishment and parting, this feeling that they create in one anothers hearts is a precious gem that no one could ever break. They lose themselves to the dying night and in the morning they have to say their goodbyes and pretend that their bleedings heart aren't calling out for the other.

To pretend to be strangers that they idly walk by in the streets, like they meant nothing to one another, and go home to their "loving" wives and "happy" homes. This doesn't feel right to either one of them at all.

After the war that tore the world, nations, countries, societies, and people apart. It was decreed that every man and women must give their bodies to the government to rebuild what was lost in the destruction.

For a decade this has been their longest and oldest tradition, you will be tethered to someone else for the rest of your life. Love is a useless emotion, when the planet has lost majority of its population. One must make do and take the lead and so they created a new way of life

They lost themselves in blurred lines and razor blade smiles, trying to pretend that they haven't been living a lie and that all is well. It made them sick, it made them callus, and it made them long for a day in the sun that would bring a hopeful future... that isn't this one

However, the rose gold filter of their affair could not go on in the darken blue skies, they would have to gracefully bow and watch the curtains close. They would have to live in this world alone, without each other, he would have to leave to save his lover.

Sungyoon had to make the choice or else his wife would make it for him, it would be the only way.

How he wished he could stop time and capture this moment just for a little while longer and memorize every bumps, dent, and curves of Jangjun's sleeping form and how he wished to hold onto that fading hope.

"I love you so bad Jangjun-ah, I am sorry." He kissed the crown of the sleeping male's head and left into the city lights with a heavy heart and the knowledge of how much this pains him too.

The younger may never know or understand the reasoning behind his decision but one day he will and he hopes that Jangjun could forgive him for the decision he made for them.

For now he will go home and pretend that the love and memories he shared with the other never existed, it is dangerous to have these thoughts and so he must erase the man that held his heart forever from his mind.

Getting lost within the memories of in between and how they had become so lost in their own world together, that they forgot the reality of this one and the consequences of getting caught. How they could suffer for their actions and transgressions, for defying the natural order and what it means to be a member of the new order that has been established by the crooks and corrupt. This world was not meant for the dreamers or wild hearts, it is a fallacy, meant to keep everyone in line, as they are afraid of another uprising so they strike fear and terror into the hearts of women and men. So they would have to comply without a fit and that is how it would always be, it would only bring more bad than good to carry on their affair and so he did what was best.

He would have to re-boot himself, to forget the secrets that he knows, he would have to bury them forever and a place he could never tread or relive, it is the only way to protect the only person he loves. This lifetime is not for the living but for the living dead, he would just have to continue the life he lead before he ever met Lee Jangjun.

Oh how the moments they shared together, oh they shined in his brittle heart, and how they shined like eternal stars that bare themselves to a blackened sky giving hope within the darkest of nights. As he recounts the moments in his mind, the good, the bad, the heart ache, the sincerity, the affections, the jealousy, and everything in between. It all burst into consolations of a memory that is younger than dawn, it form in his mind and brings tears to his eyes of those golden years together spent without regret. He wouldn't cry because that chapter could no longer be written, he would smile because they have been. For that would be his most beautiful moments in life.

_**-The End** _


	32. The Way It Used To Be (Jibeom/Jaehyun)

**_ Song: The Way It Used To Be- Mike Posner  _ **

**_ Jibeom: _ **

**_ Jaehyun:  _ **

**_ Bomin: ( _ ** **_ A/N: In this story Bomin is a 3 year old baby. But it would have been odd not to put a photo and just leave his name.)  _ **

**__ **

**_ 3rd Person's P.O.V: _ **

**1:21 a.m.**

They had been up all night with a screaming Bomin, the young parents tired and in a sleeping haze as they both take turns calming their 3-year-old son. It is a struggle dealing with their hyperactive son when he gets sick and restless, it was hard but they managed well.

It is too early in the morning and no sleep because of Bomin has a nasty stomach bug, making him agitated and cranky. The two parents, Jibeom and Jaehyun are trying their best to get him to calm down so they can feed him his medicine.

"Babe my arms hurt can you take him for a little." The blonde male had been rocking the little child back and forth trying to lull him.

"Jibeom-ah!" he called his husband who is currently downstairs getting a drink mixed with their child's medicine in a sippy cup ready for Bomin to consume. "Coming!" Jaehyun lays his son down on the bed and that sets him off even more. 

**Shoot!** he mumbles to himself but his aching arms cried for release but his child needs are first. He picks up the small child again and tries to sooth him with calming words and healing promises, it settled the young boy down but not for long, the young boy was a stubborn and fussy child. He never calms down easily, he in other words, Kim Bomin was a brat but he was a lovable and adorable brat. 

"I swear Jibeom, if you you don't hurry!" The tired male yelled for his husband to hurry the hell up and get upstairs so he can help him with their little boy.

"It is okay Bominie." Jaehyun kept pacing around the room.

The bags under his eyes are very evident and his posture slumped, making him look like a walking corpse. He is the stay at home dad and owns/runs a bakery with his best friend Young Taek, while The other man is a lawyer. It does not help that his husband is gone for long periods of time, because their boy is an active baby that does not like to sit for a long time, which makes it hard on him. Because he is cleaning the house and cooking food and never gets an ounce of rest!

But that is what happens when a person decides to become a parent. He still loves being a parent but he just wishes Jibeom was here more often but he understands. He isn't resentful of his husband, it is the longing and wishing to share the important moments with his lover and them being a family.

"Ji-!" He is about to shout again, until he heard the creek of the door open telling him that his husband is here.

"I have the drink and I will take our son." He makes grabbing gestrures towards the tired lover, taking their crying child from Jaehyun's arms. 

"It is okay baby, daddy is here." he gives the child the purple and red cup and rocks the tiny child back and forth. 

The older male just stares at the dark-haired male lovingly. "It is going to be a long night." Jibeom chuckles and the other sits on the rocking chair. He tried to keep his eyes open but sleep seemed more pleasurable.

Jibeom held the boy in his arms and he smiled brightly at the fussy little boy, as he chucked feeling proud that he has a beautiful and loving family. Yet, he felt sad that he could not be there constantly because of his job that makes him busy and absent towards his family. He felt guilty that he could not be there much for his wonderful husband, because he has done an incredible job with their child so far.

He felt responsible that he missed so much of his little boy's life "Appa sorry." his son falling fast asleep but he knew that he won't be for long. He put Bomin down on his bed and went to go take Jaehyun to bed. So they can sleep a bit longer because he doesn't know how long before their child will wake again.

**3:00 a.m.**

The young couple got a few minutes to sleep and it was the best thing ever, but once Bomin started to yell for his parents they both shoot up from their bed. "I got him this time. Sleep longer love." Jibeom wanted to let his husband sleep but his lover wanted to help. 

"We are a team Beom-ah and plus we never get to be with each other much." He wanted to spend time with the man and even though he spends the majority of the timewith his little boy. He still wants The other man to be there too, be together and that sounds good to him. Even if it might not be the way he dreamed of, it was something and he was fine with it.

"Appa!" their little boy sobs getting louder, they did not have to go far because their sons room was right next to their room.  
  


"It is okay baby." Jaehyun cooed, sleep still evident in his voice. 

"We are here now." The bright eyed boy stretched out his tiny arms for one of his parents to hold him. 

"It is okay baby."The dark-haired male cradled him in his arms.

"I don't feel well." The blonde-haired male latched onto his husband side and started to run his left hand through his son's black locks.

"It is okay." Jibeom kissed the crown of the boy's head. He started to cry again and he looked even more pale than he has in days, worrying both parents a bit.

"feel his forehead." he pressed his palm against the little boy's head.

"Jibeom, he is burning up!" Bomin felt okay earlier. 

"Like the doctor said it won't go away overnight." he added on, hoping this would settle his husband's thoughts.

Bomin started to cough and make gagging noises "Ji-!" before he could tell him that Bomin is going to throw up, it already happened. The tired man laughed at the incident and grabbed the crying boy from his husband,

"My favorite shirt." he sighs, as he looks at the huge yellowish puke stain shirt.

"You say that about all your shirts." He laughs as he cleans up Bomin and take off his superman pajamas. HE scopes up the little boy and takes him to the bathroom in their bedroom to take a bath. 

"Let's get you all nice and clean baby." He sets the fusy boy down on the king sized bad, as he goes into the bathroom and sets up the bath, making sure the water was not to hot and not to cold, it has to be just right.

The water is lukewarm, he went back into the bedroom to put Bomin in the bath. "Is Bomin alright?" Jibeom freshly changed.

"Yes, he just looks worn out." their son is playing with the bath toys in the soapy water.

"Bomin-ah." The man crouched down and laid his head on the edge of the bathtub. 

"Yes daddy?" He says groggy. 

"Do you want some soup and juice?" knowing that used to settle his own sick state.

"Juice, I want juice please!" he smiles lightly and splashes the water hitting his dad. 

"Bomin-ah!" both of them laugh at the little boy's adorableness, even in his sick state he is always playful.

As the parents continue to bathe their son it was pleasant and fun.

"Aegyo!" Bomin shouted to Jibeom and he looks at the other man pleading with his eyes to save him. 

"I agree with him." he laughs while Bomin cheers and all the man can do is smile at his family even though he hates it but willing to do it for his son. So he does it.

 **4:30 a.m.**  
Their son, yet again crying and screaming constantly for the young parents attention. The two young parents were at the point of wanting to cry themselves. They knew they had to get up. 'How does Jaehyunie do it?' the man thinks to himself as he got up from the bed. Met with the cool air, chills going down his spine as he wipes the tired from his eyes.

"I will take care of him, you have work tomorrow." He knew how important his husband work is and he want the man to sleep. 

"No." He was tired of hearing Jaehyun telling him not to help. He is Bomin's father as well and he should be there for his son to.

"Jagi, stop I know you are trying to help but your work is more important!" He pulled the standing man back to bed. 

"Jaehyun-ah stop it!" he yells at his nagging husband. 

"I want to help, work be damned cuz Bomin is my son too and I have to pull my weight!" The blonde man was not having it one bit.

"Just don't and go back to sleep!" he yelled back.

"What is wrong?" He was confused by his husband's mood swings. 

"Nothing is wrong just go to sleep!" He gets up and leaves the room and all the other male can do is sigh and rub his throbbing temple.

**Jaehyun's P.O.V:**

"I am here now baby." I coo at my little devil. 

I love my son and my husband, I just get mad that he is always away and busy. I am tired and sore from juggling the chores, taking care of Bomin, going to work, and just other things that are making me stressed. But that is what being a parent means. I have to sacrifice for our child and I don't mind- I would do anything for my little boy- he is a blessing to me and Jibeom, I could never take that for granted.

I just wish Jibeom could take some of the load and give his time to us. I know, I am very aware of selfish and unrelenting I sound, but I am tired and frustrated to! He spends his time either at the office or in his study, here at home too, it is always about work and never about being with us!

Jibeom is so dedicated and hardworking, I know how hard he works to get to where he is now and to make a name of himself as a top prosecutor in Korea. I just sometimes wish he would remember that I need him, that our son needs him, and I just miss him so much! I know yelling at him for wanting to help was foolish and dumb but sometimes I just get upset and explode for no reason. I should apologize to him for my outburst that was unwarranted. 

"Daddy." Bomin holds on tighter to me and I just walk back and forth in his room.

"Aigoo my little boy, tell me what is wrong lovebug." I kiss the crown of his head and his face. 

"I love you and appa, I love you both very much and I am sorry." I feel better having Bomin in arms. 

"Baby, don't apologize for anything and we love you more." I hug him a bit tighter.

"Jaehyun-ah" I turn around and see my loving husband and he looks exhausted.

"G..." I wanted him to get some sleep and to hide some of my shame.

"No more of that." he walks to my side and takes Bomin from my arms.

"I got him." he smiles at me and I can't help but to give in. 

"We are both parents and I need to do my part love." I decided not to fight him on this.

"I am sorry, you go to bed Jaehyun, you need sleep too." His attention back on our son and with that I decide to follow his instructions and go.

**End of P.O.V**

**Jibeom's P.O.V:**

"Appa has been an awful person." I sigh as Bomin is lulling back to dreamland. 

Everyday I see him, he is getting big with each passing hand of the ticking time and I worry that I will miss that development and one day he will not need me anymore. It is my fault, as my little boy never stops growing and I feel even moreso detach because I am always busy. 

"Forgive me son." I kiss the crown of his head as his head lays in the crock of my neck ."I love you daddy." Bomin speaks softly, it makes me smile that he is not mad at me for not being here all the time.

"I will do better, for you and your dad, I promise things will be different." I make a promise to not only him but the love of my life as well. 

Sometimes I believe he deserves someone better than me. I feel like he wants a marriage like Sungyoon and Jangjun hyung and I feel like I have failed him for it. "I love him but some days I can't help but feel like it is not enough." I speak to myself, as I can sense that Bomin is already fast asleep.

"I am being stupid? It just feels like one day he will get fed up and leave me. I know he would take you along Bomin but you both are my everything." They are my universe, I put him down in his bed.

**End of P.O.V**

**6:59 a.m.**

The restless couple just stared at the ceiling waiting for the call of their son. When Jibeom had left their son to sleep, he went back to the room to find Jaehyun a crying mess. He looked almost hollow and in a way, it frightened the silent lover.

He never really bothers to ask how his husband is feeling, never really bothered about anything really. He is always busy and especially lately, he just stopped noticing things. It is not that he did not care, no, he just did not stop and really asses his relationship with his lover. He felt at fault, as though he feel like he abandoned his husband.

The dark-haired man tried to calm the sobbing male down- he tried to but again nothing- he felt useless. He wanted to be there for his lover but it was too late in his mind.

Jaehyun on the other hand, he wanted Jibeom to try harder. Is that too much to ask? He felt almost selfish asking more of his husband. At the same time, he wanted to be selfish, he felt that he had some right to act in such manners. Yet, he is reminded that his husband is simply human, he was no superman and Jaehyun did not expect Jibeom to save the world. He was just fine with the way life is- but we all have mean streak inside of us- sometimes he was unrelenting about his husband's attention.

For that he is sorry towards the man for acting like a child instead of a grown up, he just felt that Jibeom was distant and Jaehyun just needed him more than ever. At the same time, he did not need the male to worry, he was so indecisive with his views on the matter. He was playing a game of tug of war against himself and to be honest, he was slowly breaking down inside. He felt like he was on a verge of a mental break down, it was inevitable at this point, he could feel himself already wearing thin.

"I am sorry." Jibeom is the first to break this insufferable silence.

"It is fine, it isn't your fault but mine." He did not care for an apology at this point. He felt tired and aching, he just wanted to sleep and forget about whatever this is, a fight or tift. Some nights, he could barely get a wink of sleep, he became somewhat of an insomniac. He was just restless and worried all the time, he was awake either waiting for his husband to get home or he just could not subdue himself to sleep.

He was always having inner conflict with himself, Jibeom could see the wounded look on his husband face and it pained him. He pulled the other male into his welcoming embrace "It is not fine Jaehyun-ah." He planted tiny kisses on his lover's body. 

"I love you so much." The blonde man move closer to his lover.

"I know you wish I could be like Sungyoon hyung." Jangjun would always go on about how Sungyoon was the perfect husband and father and how they are as a couple and parents. That Jangjun, Sungyoon, and Joochan are the picture-perfect family. He could sense the jealousy and longing in his lover's heart and mind, yet he could never fulfill that dream, it was impossible to play that role.

Jaehyun mulled over his husband's words and he felt guilty and stupid for making his husband think such thoughts. "That is not what I want." his deep voice filing the room making it feel less tensed.

"I don't want a picture-perfect family. I have my family that I love, you might not be perfect neither am I and Bomin is just right, I think that is what makes our family just as amazing and complete." Jaehyun smiles.

"I know sometimes I can be hard headed and stubborn." The older of the two stated. 

"I know sometimes I come onto strong and I keep pushing you and putting pressure on you and that is not fair to you. You are the best husband for putting up with me, I don't think either one of the hyung's could deal with my crazy." he chuckles softly

"You think you are crazy? I think Jangjun makes you look like the sanest person on the planet. Even the therapist would deem you sane and all there." Jibeom chuckles.

"Jibeom-ah that is not nice." He tried to suppress his laughter. 

"Even you want to laugh." Jibeom starts to tickles his husband's sides and that breaks the older male.

"Go to sleep honey." Jibeom gently lays another kiss on Jaehyun's head and that makes him feel more at ease. Just having his lover by his side made him feel weightless. 

"I love you more." and with that they fell into sleep.

**8:00a.m.**

Jibeom woke up to Bomin's loud pleas. he saw that Jaehyun was knock out cold and he did not have the heart to interrupt his beauty sleep. He unwraps his arms from the male's body and goes to his son.

He felt sad for not staying up and attending to his son quick enough, he felt upset but that could wait later. He went to his son and picked him up and cradled the small boy in his arms and spoke soothing words to his little boy. "It is okay, I got you now. I know you don't feel well but daddy is here now and I got you." He tried to reassure the crying boy.

"Daddy!" his little boy waled and cried. 

"Let's give you some medicine, yeah?" that just made him more angsty. The teary eyed boy might be a toddler but his taste buds were fully grown. He detested the evil witch craft known as modern medicine. 

"NO, Bominie doesn't want!" He cried bloody murder at the thought of being given medicine.

"If you take your medicine I will get you something." bribing his own son was the next best thing and thank god it worked. 

"Anything?" The little boy's eyes widen with this revelation. 

"Yes, medicine, I will be a good boy and take my medicine." he wipes away the tears and a little hiccup.

"Don't tell dad." he motioned with his finger over his lip to keep his mouth shut and Bomin excitingly nods with enthusiasm.

With that being said the pair went to the kitchen and Bomin still feeling terrible and a bit upset at the thought of taking medicine. He felt vile rise to his throat and he could not hold it back as he threw up again on his dad. He started to wail and scream, making Jibeom flustered.

He had to think quick. He decided to deal with the puke and put his son on the marble counter of the island as he quickly grabbed some juice and medicine and mix it together, so Bomin would take his medicine more easily. He grabbed a cup and poured the two substances as one and mixed them together and he rushed back to his son that still has not calmed down.

"Here you go." He still refuse to take his medicine and that made it harder for the tired father. Bomin cried even louder and that made Jibeom anxious even more and he had no choice but to wake up his husband so Jaehyun can contain their son. He picked up the fussy boy and rushed back upstairs to Jaehyun's and his bedroom.

"Jaehyun-ah!" he whined and still nothing. 

"Jaehyun!" he shouts louder and that startles Bomin making him cry again. He felt like crying too. 

"Jaehyun, please help me!" he yelled again and that worked.

"I am up!" Jaehyun wiped the sleep from his eyes and quickly assess the situation. 

"What is wrong?" He is fully awake and alarmed by his husband and son's pleas and he takes the whimpering boy from his husband's arms and started to work his baby whisper magic.

The frightened father sighed and changed out of his shirt and put on a new one. He goes back to his husband side and aids him in calming their son.

*******

With a sleeping Bomin in their bed they look at each other and latch their fingers together like a silent promise of sorts. They had been up all night looking after their son and they would do it all over again if it meant making memories like last night. 

"I love you Jibeom." The blonde male stretched over his son's sleeping form and kissed his husband. 

"I love you more." Jaehyun laying back down.

"You are seriously the best." Jibeom praised his husband. 

"I don't know how you do it." he continues.

"You will learn in time." Jaehyun smiles. 

"I will do better." Jibeom felt insufficient when it came to taking care of his own son. Before Bomin, he has a nephew and he did amazing but the thing is, at the end of the day his sweet nephew went home. He didn't have to care for a child twenty-four seven and at the time a career that required his attention and time majority of the time. He felt awful for not being there and being absent majority of the time.

Bomin was one years old when the couple decided to adopt him and they made young promises and believed that they would be amazing parents to their precious son and Jibeom had failed Jaehyun and Bomin, he is truly sorry to both of his greatest loves.

"I am sorry for not being here a lot." He felt apologetic.

"Don't be, I know you are busy." Jaehyun is a forgiving soul and truly the best husband.

"I should not be busy enough for my family." He brings their intertwined hands to his lips and pressed a tender kiss to Jaehyun's hand. 

"I promise things will be different. I will call in today and it will be just us three today." They hadn't had a family day in a long time, this would be the start. 

"That would be amazing." Jaehyun felt happiness fill his heart. 

"Let's get a bit more sleep love." With that last sweet whisper, the couple slipped into dreamland.

 **_ -The End   
  
_**

**_ (UPDATE: 5/11/2020) Fix some mistakes and still checking but for now change somethings.  _ **


	33. The Hearse (Sungyoon/Jangjun)

**_ Song: The Hearse- Matt Maeson  _ **

_ **Sungyoon: (Just imagine Sungyoon with some tattoos and a bit more piercings...)** _

**_ Jangjun: _ **

**_ 3rd Person's P.O.V: _ **

Sungyoon knew that if Jangjun stayed with him, it would end badly, the love he craved and shared, it would be deadly to the younger. The selfishness and anger, the part of him, the sickly and diseased ridden, it would only cause disaster, yet he wanted Jangjun to stay with him.

To keep his peace, the only person that taught him what it is like to feel in love, what it was like to feel, his heart wanted everything without having to sacrifice it all, he wanted Jangjun to succumb to his level, to be just as bad. To want more than he could consume, the black in Jangjun's lungs, that spread to his heart, he is the undoing, he is the curse, and he just can't stop himself from taking it all without consequence.

He would never be free, he couldn't escape his addictions, the pain, and pleasure. The poison that consumes, he would never be free of the horror that lives within him and he couldn't infect the other, couldn't bare to watch the joy and hope drain from his beautiful sabel black eyes, couldn't stand to be the thought, the reason Jangjun lost his shine, it would be him, cuz Jangjun loves him. It sickens him!

He would never be able to live if Jangjun destroy himself at the expense of his own, he couldn't handle the truth, that Jangjun is stuck cuz he is self-less and too kind and Sungyoon hated the younger for it. He wants the other to fly far away from the hell he has created and never look back, he would only sink his teeth into the other if he did, he is not good enough for the man, he never was, he heard the careless whispers, saw the hatred in their eyes, and the way they pointed their manicured hands at him.

He would never be enough for Jangjun, the younger male's family spoke their distaste for him, the younger's friends already alienating him, even random people on the street have their opinions. Jangjun would always be too good for him, he is damaged goods, beyond repair, a broken home that has not seen daylight.

He lites a cigarette allowing the smoke to cloud his head, try to escape the smile that brings him home, tries to escape every 'I love you', tries to escape every kiss that makes him feel loved! He is not worthy of Jangjun's attention and affections, he deserves someone with a 401k, a Rolex, wears a polo shirt, white collar businessman. Who isn't scattered with tattoos and piercing, who doesn't lose his temper so easily, who isn't barely getting by, and not one that will get him killed. 

Sungyoon is a dangerous man, he isn't someone that Jangjun should have acquainted himself with, befriended, or love. He should've runaway, far away, he is not a good man and yet the other man saw beauty in his cracks and crevices and it made him ache. How could someone as pure and good like Jangjun ever see someone like Sungyoon? He is honorable and unsullied by the world. How could this be, it made no sense, yet he wanted to be just that.

He is a sinner, a gang member and served time for it, he use to be a drug abuser, and an alcoholic. Now he is clean and getting his life together, working as a mechanic and he volunteers too. Jangjun makes him want to be good, wants to be more than what everyone else said he would be: a waste of space dead beat! He never wants to go back to that person, never wants to see that person in the mirror anymore, four years ago, he would have thrown everything away for a hit.

He craved a taste of excitement, he didn't want to feel numb anymore, he wanted to get high so no one could touch him. He craved for a sweet release and he was ready to sink down to that place he promised to never tread, Jangjun is his saving grace.

The only person to believe him, the only person to give him chance, that rooted for him when nobody else cared. He smiled his way and brought him back from the darkest of nights, all he did was turn on the lights and he felt whole and he didn't want to go back to those dark days that felt endless. Sleep walking in the abyss is daunting and unforgiving but with Jangjun by his side, it seemed as though things are limitless. Yet, he felt as though he had to go back and find his own way out.

He would never be able to stand on his own two feet, never be stable enough to enjoy another day of living, this fight is his. However, he didn't believe in his own ability, the survival rate, the will to get better, he is his own grim reaper. His pride shattered and demolished, nothing survived the wreckage and he couldn't bare the pain and suffering due to his negligence. He is no better, he couldn't swallow the poison anymore it suffocated him and little-by-little he couldn't tell the difference anymore.

He wanted to grow wings and fly away, far away. where no one can find him. Where he could start over and pretend to be someone he isn't, life could be different if he just picked up and left and maybe someday comeback and be worthy enough. That way nobody could look down on him or make him feel low, that would teach them, that just cuz Sungyoon doesn't come from much doesn't mean he couldn't make his own fortune. He wanted to prove himself!

He looks back inside to the sleeping form hidden under messy white sheets and tossed pillows, Jangjun would be the death of him, his ambitions and greed have been his greatest weakness but Jangjun takes the cake. He had many conquest and lover's but nobody spoke to his soul the way the other has, he has given himself to Jangjun without reservations or caution.

He hated himself for corrupting the younger, his innocence and beauty is precious, yet he didn't want others to obtain him, didn't want them to see that shine. He is afraid to lose him it makes him go crazy, the thought of someone trying to take away Jangjun. The only person to see him for him and not look at him with disgust or hatred, to understand him and still want his company, to show him compassion and respect.

What would he be without Lee Jangjun?

The sun rise has always been his favorite part about Jangjun's loft, he loved that he could sit on the edge of the balcony and just soak in new beginnings. He loved the warm and deep embrace, it reminded him of his youth and a much more simple and fonder times. He missed those moments of relief, he wanted to just stay forever in those peaceful moments of the rising sun.

He felt no pain or shame, didn't have to hide his sins or lies, he could be his true self, his naked truth, it terrified him at times, made him want to crawl out of his skin and run far. He could never seem to make it past that point, it always comes back to haunt him and remind him that he would never be like them. Never will be able to live a normal life, his trauma to server to be confronted.

Yet Jangjun could make even the dangerous of thoughts stay at bay, he found inner eden, he could fight the things he hate about himself, he didn't have to fear. He could smile cuz he is happy, cuz he is okay, cuz he can breathe, and its cuz he can be honest and that was the best feeling ever.

He knew that he wouldn't be enough, yet Jangjun made him feel enough and never once looked down on him or acted superior. He always made him important and loved, most importantly someone worth following, Lee Jangjun made him feel like he is just Choi Sungyoon, someone worth redemption.

He allowed the morning breeze to fill his lungs and bring him clarity, yet his mind still a storm of scenarios that manage to make him freeze in fear and anxiety, his heart filled with worry,he tried to keep himself ashore but he kept slipping into the deep end. He has never been optimistic in his lifetime and he never would be and for good reasons, many of it has to do with trauma and a bit of paranoia, it has kept him running and kicking for as long as he has and he wanted to keep it that way.

"Sungyoon, are you okay?" His heart coming back home at the call of his lover.

He turns around and stares at the other male that stands at the middle of the threshold of the inside and leading to the balcony of his bedroom. He has never felt more right than just being here, just seeing Jangjun, once they meet he knows everything will be okay and he feels the worry flee from his spirit.

"Get a bit more rest my love." He wouldn't dare tell Jangjun his thoughts that capture him in the loneliest of hours.

"It is five-fifty, come back to bed too." The younger rubs the sleep out of his eyes, looking dashingly handsome and cute to the older.

"I just wanna stay up until the sunrises fully and then I will return." He usually leaves right after but Jangjun gets upset and hurt.

The younger is so smitten with his lover, he has never felt such strong emotions for anyone before and he only keeps falling in love all over again each time. He only has eyes for his hyung and the heart never lies, he didn't care what other people thought, he might come from riches but he never had the same group mentality. He didn't want to be surrounded by people that are full of shit and who are brown nosers, didn't care for that type of company and never did.

He is a free spirit and never meant to be caged, he has a wild heart, and his parents always had trouble with him and his attitude towards things. He wanted to be a writer but his parents didn't want to pay for a hobby and made him join law, he wanted to take a year off and travel and his parents didn't want him fooling around and so he did as told, and continued to follow. He wanted many things in this lifetime and always passed up cuz he loves and respects his parents but when it came to his heart, he couldn't pass that opportunity and wouldn't dare too! He refused to go on dates with any of his 'supposed' suitors his parents liked/love cuz that was not his own free will.

His parents could never fully accept that he is in love with men and that he would never be with a women, yet they tried to push women onto him and each time it only resulted in arguing and fighting. Sungyoon and him met at the right place at the wrong time, as do all great love stories sometimes happen, it had entailed trials and tribulations.

Love isn't perfect and both willing to take the chances of their own, they had given up a lot to be with each other, defied the wishes of others, lied to save one another, made promises they couldn't keep, and so many other things in between and they strive on. They have given themselves to one another, it is bond that they could not explain but they promised to never break each other's hearts.

"I will stay up with you then." Jangjun wanted a forever if the gods above allowed him.

Sungyoon opened his arms for the younger to embrace him, he truly loves him, it is crazy how his thoughts and mind only craved Lee Jangjun, his whole being only craved for his lover and his soul burned and yearned, it was only him in his sullen heart. Jangjun wrapped his arms around the older's waist leaning his head on the other's shoulder, loving how he feels relaxed and home. 

They stood in the silence of the rising sun, it brought comfort and calm, it didn't feel suffocating or trying. The life that blooms outside of their space, the lives they lead, it becomes immemorial and as though they aren't Lee Jangjun and Choi Sungyoon, they don't feel worlds apart and they relish in these tiny moments. In the wake of disaster, it is far from their minds and hearts as they watch the world around them spark with bird songs and engines roar, as they wake from deep slumber, sleep dissolves from their hazzy minds, the day begins, and with it brings new adventure and life.

What it is like to be alive.

The world around them changes but their hearts stay them same.

They would love like it is their last!

They would live like it is their first breathe!

They would dance in the times of mourning!

Cry in times of joy!

Their hearts have bonded through the pains and struggle, they know what it's like to crave for something more, something beyond the folds of the human existence and finding a new purpose. To want a life far from their own, where they can be someone else but the lives they have lead to get to where they are now, it would be a lie if they said they would change the past for a new outcome to the present.

Sungyoon might be lost but Jangjun has embraced even the nastiest and darkest parts he could not forgive. Jangjun smiles at him with such innocence and tenderness, a part of him desires to do better, to want more out of this life and be done with just contant. It is easy to die for the ones you love but for Jangjun, he would live and strive for greatness, he would do this not only for his lover but most importantly himself.

He was done playing with the beautiful angle of despair, he would not write his ending, he wanted to stop living life in slow motion and self-pity and guilt for the actions and hurt he has caused. No longer the beast, he had to set himself free from the ball and chain, he had to confront the demons that haunt him, it was the only way to truly make amends with the person he use to be.

He would learn to be enough, instead of exploding, he would become the man he wishes to be, not only for himself but for his family and Jangjun. One day he could hold his head high and without feeling ashamed and angry, he is ready to take the life that was deprived from him, one day he would be that man, Jangjun knows that he is. 

**_ -The End _ **


	34. History (Jangjun/Sungyoon)

_ **Song: History-X Ambassadors** _

**_ Sungyoon: _ **

**_ Jangjun: _ **

**_ 3rd Person's P.O.V: _ **

"I can't keep destroying myself, everytime you keep pushing away, I keep pulling at the threads of my heart and pleading to make you stay!" Jangjun couldn't stand this cold barren night.

"You tell me one thing but do the opposite and I have to be okay with it but it kills me inside Sungyoon hyung. I have to deal with the blow out of your acts and misunderstanding, it is me that takes the blame but its cuz I am so blinded by this overwhelming love for you." He lets out a shaky breath as he stayed up waiting for his fleeting lover on the blue leather couch dressed in sweats and a tank.

"I know I said my love isn't fragile but you kept chipping away at the edges of my heart until it is sanded down to fit your needs! While I am trapped in your heart-shaped box but I was a willing participant." He couldn't stand to look at the older detective at the entrance of their house, no longer home.

"I had to bite my tongue and smile through the pain as you kept rejecting and apart of me had to accept that you were just simply not ready." He runs his shaky hands through his ruffled locks.

"Even through everything, it has always been you and I allowed the toxicity to ruin me." Jangjun could feel the onset of tears strike his eyes. 

"I was okay cuz it is you Choi Sungyoon, I allowed myself to keep bending and breaking as long as I got to see that bunny smile that you reserved for me." He didn't want to break in front of the older male again. 

"At some point I have to let you go and wish you the best hyung." He looks up with glistening eyes to see his indifferent lover. 

"I have given you my heart multiple times over and each time I ignore the cracks and bruises from the let down cuz it is you Sungyoon, it's cuz I care so deeply about you, it is greater than love." When the younger man loves it is with his whole being and maybe that is were it went wrong?   
  
"Jangjun what are you saying?" His tone just as lifeless as his eyes.

" Five years ago, In April, you told me you love me and I never felt more happier in that moment of space and time, it felt like I was on a high that I could and would never want to come down from. But the thing is... I am afraid of heights and I get nauseous as well as dizzy, it sucks, being afraid of the highest points I can reach but too scared to make the climb." Jangjun had to say it now or he never will.

This one on the other hand, it was different. He was willing to walk or climb any mountain top as long as Sungyoon would be there. "I would do anything for you, even if it meant giving up everything I know and made me feel safe!" He made a lot of sacrifices all in the name of love. 

"The thing is I didn't care! I wanted to give you the best of me and one I felt right about cuz I had love you and wated to be what you needed." It was a decision that the dark haired male made with accuracy and precision, it was calculated, meaning that it was fool proof, or so he thought?

He swipes his eyes trying to push the tears away. "My feelings big and loud, it might be annoying at times, but it is always you in the end of the line and so I held no reservations or hesitations and so I didn't hold back and maybe I should have but I was all in."

Jangjun didn't think that his lover's love could change over the seasons, as his never could and Jangjun guess that is the difference between the two of them.

"I was in it for the long haul but you!" He tries to hold back the anger that threatens to implode at any given moment. 

"I had to think, maybe you never wanted me, it hurt like hell, loving you! It felt like pins and needles and I ignored the aching pleas from my body and mind." He immersed himself in the deep roots of Sungyoon and he allowed himself to be involved with a serpent.

"I gave you my heart but you didn't want it, but you took it anyways!" He tossed his phone at the wall causing the older male to be startled. 

"Was it the thrill?! The thought of holding someone life in your hands?! Did you even miss me in the fall?" He coughs as he tries to rid himself of the ball of emotions that coming up his airways.

"You were so close to touch but you felt distant and gone. I was scared that I lost you in the winter but you never once thought about me! Not even in April... I tried so hard to make you happy even when the sky was falling and the oceans were burning! When life seemed all but a memory of a memory, I was willing to save you from the impending doom but this love was going to crack under the pressure at any given moment but I wanted you to hold onto me." Was he the selfish one for asking too much of his aloof boyfriend?

He realized over time and much needed late night sessions of reruns and bad cups of coffee, it was not an epiphany or wake up call but a silent storm of self-actualization that hit him like a train. Jangjun could not do anything but stares at the darkening skies and the hazy lights of an oncoming bus, he remembers all those chilling and sleepless nights waiting for Sungyoon.

"However, I realized that you were never meant to stay." His chest grow heavy and burdensome.

"I was simply a rest stop of wrong turns to your final destination and I couldn't accept the truth, it was right in front of me, like a thunder storm and I was out of my depth when it came to you. You could never love me the way I have love you and that is my fault for diluting my thoughts and fantasies of a forever with someone that is part time and I have to accept the reality of the lie." A beautiful lie that Jangjun could never see past the glamour and rose gold eyes.

Some days he wondered if it is his fault? For the way Sungyoon treated him and he beat himself up soo many times over, it made him so callous and cruel towards himself that he wanted to be someone else. He wanted to be someone that Sungyoon could be proud to call his other half of a whole and so he tried to be perfect but he would always fall short of that and he punished himself mercilessly for it.

"I come to realize that you decided you didn't like my shine. I was not what you wanted and I have to accept that even if I love you, I can't spend anymore time trying to love the both of us cuz this home is sinking and I am the mass casualty and you will come out unscathed." He couldn't keep setting himself on fire to keep Sungyoon warm.

"I am leaving you! " He looks up to see the eyes of a man he no longer knew. 

"I wish you the best Jangjun." Jangjun couldn't believe the older. 

"I was the only one in love right?" He tried to push back the tears but some got past the barricade and fly silently as the birds.

"I want you to be happy Jangjun-ah but that isn't with me." Sungyoon felt guilty for hurting the man before him but this is for the best. 

"I love you and now I must let you go, thank you for loving me even when I didn't deserve it. You have a big heart and I took advantage of it and I am sorry for it, I am not the man you knew all those years ago and please don't mourn for him cuz I want you to remember the good and not the bad times." Sungyoon is truly sorry for hurting Jangjun but he couldn't keep pretending anymore.

"Resent me but not the love we shared all those years ago and I know it is too much to ask of you but I never lied to you, not during those beautiful moments." Jangjun couldn't turn away from those beautiful earthly orbs. 

"I am letting you go and I am glad you are letting me go too cuz I would have never made you stay. I love you and I am sorry for all those times I lied and made you guilty when I was the one who was in the wrong, but love ain't enough this time." He walks toward the still male and pulls him into a warm embrace for the last time. 

"I will always be thankful that we met when we did but when loves goes it must go and all we can do is smile and say we tried." He didn't think that letting go of his lover would be so hard but this is it. 

"You and me are history and now we must close the book and take our last bows, I will pack up and leave in the morning just promise to never allow anyone to half-ass love you the way I did cuz Lee Jangjun, you are worth so much more than you will ever know." The bunny like man tries to ignore the sob that is tearing so painfully through his throat. 

"Please let's stay like this one last time." He couldn't keep loving a ghost forever. 

That was the last time they would ever get to share the same breathe and the same warmth, it would forever engrain in the back of their memories in the top of a dusty old closet and one that will never see the light of day. Not every ending is happy and they both learned it the hard way. 

_**-The End** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hope you like the update and I decided to make it 37 chapters long instead of 35. So this isn't over just yet lol. I have soo many ideas that I want to write so bare with me! As always thank you for the love and support you all show me by just reading it is amazing! Love you all.
> 
> -AndreaXx


	35. Bruises (Jangjun/Sungyoon)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: WARNING SENSITIVE CONTENT AHEAD!!!! THIS COULD BE A TRIGGER FOR SOME SO READ WITH CAUTION!
> 
> I am sorry for the way I potray them in it. I do not believe in romaticizing these kinds of love as it is not love to me and never will be. I got inspired from the song and I was watching HBO show Big Little Lies and this is how it came about and I never inteneded to write this at all but it just happened.

**_ Song: Cherry Wine- Hozier _ **

**_ Sungyoon: _ **

  
  
**_ Jangjun: _ **

_**A/N: WARNING SENSITIVE CONTENT AHEAD!!!! THIS COULD BE A TRIGGER FOR SOME SO READ WITH CAUTION!** _   
  
**_ 3rd Person's P.O.V: _ **

It was never like this, he was never like this. Their house no longer felt like home and at some point Jangjun had to come to terms with the reality that this love has taken a wrong turn. 

The winter nights feel longer and bone chilling, it is suffocating and unforgiving as each day passes and blurs into the next. Creating patterns and shapes of blue and purple hues and blotches across his flawless canvas. 

The way his breathe riddles with anxiety and his heart beats in the same rhythm as the clock ticks and he tries to hold on to the semblance of peace he has left in his wandering mind, it is the time he could feel weightless and free.

The body can only take so much before giving way and his spirit is being weighed down by the pain of yesterday that tomorrow seems but that of works of fiction. The days drag out too much of his time until he comes home.

Yet he no longer found comfort in these four walls or the touch of his lover. He couldn't bring himself to accept the unfathomable truth, it came undone, the glamour and lies. 

His heart couldn't take another hit to his aching soul, knowing that the person he once knew, that man is dead and gone! Replaced with a hungry beast and Jangjun kept feeding the monster. 

He kept giving in! Taking the blame and suffering for his failures and mistakes, it was him who took the inevitable backlash, and Jangjun forgave him after. 

How foolish could he be? Running into a burning building without a getaway or safety plan and for some reason Jangjun knowingly kept running back in and what for? 

This silly illusion that he would change and look at him the way he use too! The comedown and the reality is always the hardest part for the younger and maybe it is the hope that brings him in but the expectation is just that and when he is knocked back into the atmosphere, it is crash landing. 

"What the fuck!" He hits the younger in the abdomen.

"I told you to be home at eight pm and its eight-thirteen goddammit!" He pulls him by his dark locks and into their shared bedroom.

"Sungyoon let go of me please." He tries not to flinch as he feels the older tightening his grip.

"Shut the fuck up and don't you dare scream or beg cuz I have had enough of this disrespect Jangjun!" He holds his head up high and without another moment, it is like thunder cracked through the sky.

The stunned male bites his tongue as he can feel his cheek swelling a bit from the assault, it is brief but unforgettable.

"I-I am so-orry Sungyoon." He tries not to stutter or fault.

The older crouches down to be leveled with his frightened lover and he sees nothing but red.

"You're sorry?" He scoffs and runs a soothing hand against his aching neck.

"You should be Jangjun-ah, it hurts me when you don't listen or follow a simple fucking rule!" He back hands his lover but this time on the right side.

"Am I not good enough!" His voice triples in voluming with each word.

"There was traffic and I tried so hard to get back home quickly." His voice trembles fearing that he could have pissed off his lover,

"You should have tried harder." He gets back up and dust off his work slacks and straightens his white button up and in slow motion he pulls back and with full force, he doesn't hold back, all at once it is almost like being hit by oncoming train at full force. Jangjun clutches stomach as he feels the air leave his lungs.

"Get up!" He is losing his patients.

Jangjun felt his soul leave his body and all at once his hearing is impaired and white hues flashing his vision making him see double.

"I said get up!" He kicks him again without mercy.

"Ple-ea-se St-o-oop!" He tries to fight back the tears that threaten to erupt.

"You want me to stop?" He mocks the younger mans pleas.

"Pathetic!" He rolls his sleeves up to his elbows before clutching the man's hair again causing him to scream in pain.

"Shut the fuck Jangjun!" He throws the younger on the bed.

"Please Sungyoon!" He screams with the little energy he has left in him.

"Useless, I can't fucking look at you!" He laughs as he climbs onto the bed approaching the exhausted lover with a hunger in his eyes.

"You should be glad I am not going to kill you for this." He whispers in his lover's ear.

"Just remember that what I do is because I love you and be lucky that someone does, you would still be alone without me." His voice callous and undermining.

He rolls him onto his stomach forcefully and rips his clothing until he raw and naked. He violently and without shame penetrate Jangjun's walls until he felt satisfied enough with the actions and the man just silently cries but accepts it. Maybe if he tried, if he had been considerate, this wouldn't have happened and Sungyoon wouldn't be so upset.

He would take it, it is his way of forgiveness, it is the only way his lover would be satisfied after all he put the older through. He should be thankful it isn't as bad as a few weeks ago, this is the less severe and more forgiving punishments. He should know better next time.

He lays pliant and lifeless as Sungyoon is coming down from his temper, it is always the hardest pill to swallow, so Jangjun does what he always does best and that is nothing.

"I am so sorry Jangjun, I didn't mean it." Sungyoon cries at the foot of their queen size bed. 

Jangjun tried to swallow the tears that won't stop pouring down his tender and stinging skin. He tries to cover himself with the velvet champagne sheets as best but he still feels vulnerable.

"Please don't shut me out!" Sungyoon voice cracked as he falls apart at the seams.

The younger couldn't stand the sight before him, of what he had caused, it was all too much for his numb state.

"I am so fucking sorry Jangjun, I swear I didn't mean it, you know I am not this person Jangjun please you have to believe me!" His voice filled with remorse it makes Jangjun feel at fault. 

He wanted to believe his lover so badly, with every fiber of his being, he clinged onto that deadly wish and begged whatever god/dess existed in the heavens to be forgiving.

"I love you so much it was an accident." He kept trying to absolve himself of his cruel doings. 

The younger's resolve slowly chipped and crumbled with every plea the older made, it made Jangjun weak and too forgiving. He loved so hard and trust too easily and Sungyoon would always win. 

"Please Jangjun." The older broke down as the silence kept getting louder, it drove him insane! He couldn't lose Jangjun, it made him upset and that green ugly monster turned its head. 

"It wasn't a good day and all I asked was for you to be home before I did but you weren't, I needed you and you weren't here!" his tune changing wavelengths. 

"I am always here for you Jangjun and I never turn away but you don't seem to care or give that same respect!" His cries turn into nasty warning shots.

The younger trembled in fear and self-loathing, maybe he did deserve it? He was so caught up with wanting to help his friend that he forgot that his boyfriend needed him. How could he be so insensitive? 

He promised the older to be back and he didn't keep it and that guilt ate away at his conscience.

"I am sorry Sungyoon, time got the best of me and I forgot about it, I swear that this won't happen again." his voice hoarse and dry from the screaming and uncontrollable sobs. 

Sungyoon moves up onto the bed and closer to the shaking male.

"You know how much I love you right?" Sungyoon is staring into his lover's terrified eyes and a feeling stirs into his chest. 

Jangjun slowly nods his head as the shock made him mute.

He raises a hand to caress Jangjun's fading black eye on the left side and he just smile's with a proud smile and it throws off the younger making him werry of the position they are in. He wants to run but he can't because he knows that it won't end well.

"My love, it is okay, I promise I am not going to hurt you." with each word fades into a whisper.

"Please relax Jangjun, baby it is okay, just please don't be scared." Sungyoon tried to seem less threatening.

"I swear it won't ever happen again. Just please let me in, I forgive you, just please don't look at me like a stranger because I love you so much it hurts me when you act this way." Sungyoon eyes glistening and his voice trembling.

The younger lets down his guard, he allows the older to embrace him feeling just a bit safe but not enough to fully accept the heartfelt and emotional apology. He didn't deserve his boyfriend's forgiveness, it was his fault Sungyoon lashed out and caused him to worry about Jangjun's whereabouts.

"I just don't like it when you are with your friends they give you ideas and fill your head with delusions, it makes me upset that they try to turn you against me!" His voice growing louder with each sentence and his hand grips the younger's shoulder.

"Sungyoon, please let go you are hurting me, it is fine, I don't believe them cuz they don't understand you are a good man." Jangjun didn't know if he was lying to himself or to Sungyoon.

"I am sorry love please don't be afraid, its just I don't want you to leave me, I would die without you and nobody could ever love you the way I do and they wouldn't." Sungyoon kiss the crown of Jangjun's sensitive head.

Jangjun knew that it could be worse and in some form Sungyoon's words held validity and it scared him so much. He didn't want to be alone again, it frightened him so much, his father was never around and his past lover's never stayed long enough, he lost some good people along the way.

He suffered a lot through this life but when he met his boyfriend seven years ago it was a god sent and he has always been thankful of Sungyoon loving him. He didn't deserve the older man but he stays nonetheless and Jangjun thanks the heavens every time.

"I promise things will be different." Sungyoon wraps his arms wound Jangjun's still form.

Jangjun like the sound of that and apart of him gave in without hesitation and no questions because it is Sungyoon's words and he knows what he does is not for nothing. Jangjun trust him each time, until he hits him again and like a fool Jangjun keeps forgiving him for it cuz it is his own fault for trying the older man's patience and temper.

"I am sorry Sungyoon I promise this won't happen again." He should be apologizing for his actions that lead to now, it wouldn't have happened if he listened.

"I forgive you, sleep love and don't do it again." He kiss his head again before silence takes a hold of them and with a shaky breathe Jangjun welcomes the darkness once more.

**_ -The End _ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Again I am sorry and in no way believe in romanticizing this type of relationships.
> 
> Please, I am begging, if you know anyone or you yourself are in this situation. This isn't love and whoever the abuser is does not intend to stop or change and the person you know or you need to leave as this could mean death and it is heartbreaking. 
> 
> Don't let the person manipulatin the victim into thinking this is okay, love, fair, or anymeans to get the victim to stay, it isn't right and I hope with all my heart that thisn't true for people but it is the reality for a lot. This isn't okay and you should never accept the love you think you deserve, don't allow them to dilute your mind with cruel words that is means to make you feel like you can't survive without them or find someone to love you cuz you have people that do and you have yourself... self-love is so important! 
> 
> I urge you or the person you know to leave and I know it isn't easy at all but don't let it slide or allow the person to demean you cuz you or the person you know are in danger if it progresses. THIS ISN'T LOVE and I know it is to the victim cuz they know nothing else but believe me thisn't how someone treats the peron they love, don't settle for anything less!
> 
> You are loved and your life is important! Please don't ignore it or turn a blind eye. 
> 
> Thank you for reading everyone and never forget you matter. 
> 
> Love AndreaXx


	36. Red Handed (Jibeom/Jaehyun)

**_ Song: Red Hands- The Dear Hunters  _ **

**_ Jibeom: _ **

**__ **

**_ Jaehyun: _ **

**_ 3rd Person's P.O.V: _ **

**_ Location: Jaehyun's apartment: _ **

"Who are these men you keep hiding around with?!" He couldn't stomach the doubt or anxiety of the only one being in love in this relationship.

"Please listen Jibeom, it isn't what you think, I can explain." The life drained from his face.

"Explain how! That you are using me or that you are sleeping with other people!" He went insane with grief and madness.

"You have to understand that this isn't it Jibeom..." the older is on his knees begging.

"Understand what? I caught you red-handed and you want me to not fault you!" He scoffs at the man before him and his pathetic attempt.

"Just please listen to me!" He cries out in anger.

"Why, I just saw you going with another man and you want to lie through your teeth!" His nostrials flair and his glare is like pins and needles.

"Let me explain Jibeom just stop and please listen!" The blonde never meant to hurt the man he truly loves.

"Do you pity me or are you forcing yourself to love the thought of me?" He would not let up.

It was past midnight and they are having a screaming match in the middle of the older's living room. It is filled with shrills and explosions of emotions... this was not suppose to happen, not like this.

"I do love you and only you Kim Jibeom!" Jaehyun sobs as the red hair man destroys his living room. He is throwing frames and flipping furniture, trying to let out his aggression, it caused the older male to flinch and close his eyes.

He loves Jaehyun with his whole being, it is just this betrayal that came out of left field and he didn't know how to fathom the thought of what he just found out.

"Than why did you?" He looked at the man as though he had found out that his lover killed his family and puppy, it is that much hurt and pain.

"I am a prostitute!" He couldn't handle the anger and agonizing assumptions of ever betraying Jibeom like that.

"What?" That got him to shut up for a little.

"I never told you is because I love you, I am so ashamed of what I do, it is not ideal but it gets the bills paid and puts food on the table. I don't have any other means of income and so I sell myself... is that what you wanted to hear!" He looks at the floor in shame and disgust as tears well into his eyes.

He never wanted his lover to find out about his profession, it is something he never wants anyone close to him to know. He never wanted this life but it was the only thing he could do once his parents found out he is gay, they threw him out and told him to never come back unless he is ready to be apart of the family and marry a women.

That day was one of the worse days of his life.

"You are what..." He didn't know what to say, still blinded by possessive tendencies and anger, he pulls the slightly smaller man off the floor.

What he does next, it is cheap and he made the same age man feel cheap and the man knew it! He intended to hurt the blonde man the way he felt about finding out what Jaehyun does, jealousy is wreaking havoc in his thoughts and he doesn't know if he can stop.

"Take off your sweater, your shoes, and your shirt, and get to work." He pulls the other man into a rough kiss.

The pain and hurt makes him see red and takes over his control without his premission, making him rip into Jaehyun's clothes and pulling them off.

"Stop it Jibeom please!" Jaehyun eyes widden in horror as he tries to push the younger man off him.

He still doesn't listen.

He is tearing each piece of cloth, one by one, this causes the older man to be terrified.

"Please stop!" He screams and pleads, his voice raw and scared and he is shell shocked at what happens next.

"Why, I have money you can just take it from me, it is no different from those men you cater to! Why don't you just take it from me?" He starts to kiss and bite on the man's snow white skin claiming his territory.

"Stop it please Jibeom, you are hurting me!" His heart pounding, it feels like he is going to die if it keeps going at a hundred miles per second speed.

"I am good for it!" His words come out spiteful and hateful.

He is trapped underneath the younger man, pinned to the couch and he won't let up. Causing the slightly weaker male to freak out in small panting and shifty eyes, setting him into fight or flight mode.

"I thought you love me?" Jibeom screams as he rips the man's sweat pants open and the older can't take this horror show anymore.

"I do but not like thisJibeom, you are scaring me!" He manages to knee the distracted man in the balls.

The action causes younger to fall and cup his manhood and that allows Jaehyun get up from the couch and moves far from his wounded lover trying create a safe and fleeting distance.

"I want you out, now just take your shit and go Jibeom!" He is crying, it is a heartbreaking site.

The younger man still rolling a back and fourth a bit as the pain is slowly bring him back to the reality of it all and the actions and deeds he was about to enact against his delicate and caring lover.

The older's breathe becomes uneven as he is trying to stop the splitting head ache to overcome his vision in hues of flashing and splotchy white colors almost like flash going off on cameras.

His arms the only form of decency as he is only wearing his boxers and even then, it feels to provocative, he feels disgusting and used. He could separate his job and what he does but what the man he loves did to him and was going to do to him.

This act made him feel like as though Jibeom is just another man who he meets and makes him feel less human and more like a rag doll or someone that can be easily discarded, this is not like the kind and shy man he knew.

No, this man is a stranger!

The younger man slowly comes back from an incapacitated state and his sense are fully functioning again, it kicks him in the face, clears as night fall and it comes full circle back to bite him in the ass.

"Oh my god, what have I done?" He asks himself as he looks at his lover on the other side of the room with the look of terror in his earthly hues.

"I am soo sorry this isn't me, Jaehyun I didn't-." He runs a shaky hand through his crimson locks and he tugs hards and he screams in anguish.

"I am sorry!" He rocks back and forth, knees pressed against his chest and his clothes rumpled and wrinkled... this isn't him.

He would never intentionally hurt the man he loves, it isn't him, this wasn't suppose to happen. He sobs at the actions that almost took place, it is even low for him.

He was about to rape his own boyfriend, he was gonna take him without mercy and his lover begged and begged for him to stop. But he didn't and he has never been more disgusted and horrified of himself.

"Please forgive me Jaehyun! I didn't mean it!" he would never lay a hand or harm a hair on Jaehyun's body never,he is not a violent person and he has never been.

Yet he did.

"Get out of my house! I want you gone Jibeom." he cough as his lungs are clouded.

"Please listen! I didn't mean it, I am so sorry, it was never my intention and I promise this isn't me." He cries more.

He wasn't in the right state of mind, he would never say those words or done what he did. How could he have done that to his lover, it is like whiplash, this action is forceful and violent and this time a simple sorry won't cover the wounds he left.

Jaehyun felt numb inside, he couldn't or wouldn't cry, it was like time had stopped and he is left to himself. Isolated and closed off and he his mind tried to process the assault... he is too afraid of looking at the younger lover just as equally terrified.

"You know this isn't me Jaehyun, I am so sorry!" His breath hitches and he is a stuttering mess.

Jaehyun is afraid to give in, it would not be a wise decision but he loves his boyfriend soo much that he might be willing to overlook it. Is love enough? Can they move on from this or will they end up in another grudge match were they can't take back anything. Once the first blow is delivered head on and unannounced, it would just be another betrayal, it would never end.

He goes to the younger male and hugs him, trying to create a blanket of comfort and protection, it was an accident. He couldn't blame the younger male, it was an accident that took place with no ill intent.

Jaehyun pulls his crying lover close soothingly runs a gentle hand up and down his protruding spine and whispers words of love and comfort to him. "It is okay love, Beom-ah I know you didn't mean it."

"Don't cry, it is okay." He tries to sooth the man running his hand gently across his shaking body, a caring hand rubbing Jibeom's left shoulder gently creating tiny circles with his thumb.

"I love you ." He kisses the man's temple.

As the younger of the two sobs breaks his heart even more and he feels guilt. "I am sorry I don't know what happen Jaehyun, thank you for forgiving me, I don't deserve your forgiveness" he pulls his lover into a hug.

"Don't worry about it Jibeom." He tried to convince not only his lover but himself.

He just had to look past this just like the other times... The blonde male knows his lover is not a violent person and this is just another rough patch... right?

He know Jibeom loves him, it is okay, this is just a minor set back and they will get through this. He can look past this one again, he never means it, this isn't like Jibeom because the younger isn't a violent person.

_** -The End ** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:I said it in my Jangyoon fanfic if you read bruises I will say it here again I do not believe in romaticizing these kinds of love as it is not love to me and never will be. I got inspired by this song and nothing more also ABUSE IS NOT LOVE!!! 
> 
> You or someone you know that has an abusive partner please leave and don't allow anyone to treat you that way ever, you are important and you do matter, with all the love in my heart I hope you know you are strong and can leave!
> 
> -AndreaXx

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Hope you guys will take part and follow. Thank you guys!
> 
> -AndreaXx


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